Aged 5
My brother and I were left temporarily unattended in a Woolworths. Near the pick n' mix.

We dared each other to eat one each, and did. And we got away with it! And then we noticed that there was a security guard near the doors.

We panicked. We were going to be caught. A few months previously we'd stolen eaten some pills from mummy, and she wanted them back so badly she'd made us drink salt water to throw them up! Surely the guard would be much worse!

We were so scared and guilty that we thought we'd own up. Everyone knows if you just admit it, it'll go better for you. So when mummy got back to the front of the store she found two little children crying their eyes out in horror at the single piece of pick'n mix they'd eaten.

So she took us to the back of the store, asked to see the manager, and made us apologise. We were each docked 5p of our 20p pocket money for our crime, and awash with tears we were taken home and made to go to bed early.

Still, a lucky escape I feel.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:45, 5 replies)

you're the reason behind the recession!
Where can I go now for little cans of pop? nowhere but woolies sold them....
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 16:47, closed)

Q.D still sell them, I think...
Also, I was expecting some comment along those lines. :P At least we paid them back for the sweets (to a genuinely bewildered local manager, I might add...) by the time I was in high school it seems that nicking Woolies sweets was a normal passtime for most people.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 17:12, closed)

I like
the cut of your Mum's jib.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 21:34, closed)

I thought pick and mix was free so long as you ate it in-store?

(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:03, closed)

You fucking grass.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:45, closed)