How well read are you? It’s World Book Night, and 1,000,000 copies of 25 different books are given out free.
(1) Pride and Prejudice.
(2) The Player of Games.
(3) Sleepyhead
(4) Notes From a Small Island
(5) The Alchemist
(6) The Take
(7) Harlequin
(8) Someone Like You
(9) A Tale of 2 Cities
(10) Room
(11) Rebecca
(12) The Remains of the Day
(13) Misery
(14) The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic
(15) Small Island
(16) Let the Right one in
(17) The Road
(18) The Time Traveller’s Wife
(19) The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox
(20) The Damned Utd.
(21) Good Omens.
(22) How I live Now.
(23) Touching the Void.
(24) I capture the Castle.
(25) The Book Thief.

I’ve read 1,4,9,12, 17,20 and 23. Got 13 and 20 given this morning. Seen as films 1,9, 12, 13, 17 and 23. The Brian Clough one looks interesating.

Alt, nice lunch?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 23 Apr 2012, 14:53, 119 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So a guy I know just got sacked for lying on his CV,
What's the worst lie you've ever told on a CV? Did you get caught?

ALT: What's your least favourite pizza topping that everyone else seems to love?
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 13:05, 246 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

A thought occurs to me
As an adult* I don't like communal showers in sports facilities. I don't think I'm alone in this, and yet we think it's perfectly reasonable to force children to use communal showers in school.

What do you think?


* Insert hilarious strikethrough saying I'm fat, or ugly, or Rachelswipe etc.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:40, 143 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning
So tomorrow evening you may see the most important press release of your lives www.theregister.co.uk/2012/04/22/google_in_space/
Or maybe not.

So is this the start of the evil corporations taking over the universe or the start of a new era in human progress, will the limitations of our planet finally be lifted?

Interesting eh? EH?!?!
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:38, 40 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Happy Monday
Is it?

Alt: did you have a good weekend?

Alt alt: did you see the boris-ken show last night? Who should win? Or if you're not a Londoner, why should you give a fuck?

Alt alt alt: having given everyone at the LOLbash free LASIK with my flash, I have lots of drunken pics of everyone (except b3th who successfully pulled the "no paparazzi" pose every time, damn her cheetah like reflexes). Do people want them on flickr? Anyone who is just looking for free wank fodder need not apply.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:10, 175 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

There's a concentration of risk going on here
People have gone out and had some fun, and left this little corner of the internet empty.
Is there a succesion plan? Will they return? It has happened before. Maybe the dinosaurs all went to Bristol for a piss up and never came back.

More than 6 replies will put me at ease.
(MenaceCoat, Sun 22 Apr 2012, 22:35, 11 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

A teensy weensy evening one then.
Nearly everyone is comotose in Bristol, with the police drawing chalk outlines around their prone corpses.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 22 Apr 2012, 21:26, 16 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

WAKEY WAKEY WAKEY
What's the dirt?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Apr 2012, 11:23, 11 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

obligatory "things from Jeffstock" thread
Quote of the evening:

"This is the first time I've been made to go home BEFORE I I've shit myself!" - Monty Boyce.

Had a fantastic time, am very drink. G'nite!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 22 Apr 2012, 2:12, 36 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Obligatory non-Jeffstock related thread
For those of us not lucky enough to be aboard the cider boat playing b3tam'ups tell me what exciting high-octane plans you have for this evening?

alt: Have you ever made any god-awful room silencing puns which seemed like a good idea at the time?
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 16:29, 7 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Saturday, Saturday.
Saturday is JeffSTOCK,
Never a day to miss 'cos
Saturday is JeffSTOCK day.

A JeffSTOCK day doesn't matter day.
Fill your day with fun have a laugh a day.
Have yourself a real mad-hatter day.

'Cos Saturday is JeffSTOCK,
Never a day to miss 'cos
Saturday is JeffSTOCK day.

Have fun kids.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 10:08, 50 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm for bed
but if anyone attending Jeffstock wants a 60-CD jukebox stereo I can bring that with me.
Looks like this:
images02.olx.ro/ui/10/06/52/1291740373_134000452_1-SISTEM-STEREO-PANASONIC-SA-CH64MTIP-COMBINA-AUDIO-astra-1291740373.jpg

Because that's what it is.

Best offer accepted, and "I'll take it off your hands" counts as an offer (but not, obviously, as good an offer as "I'll give you a fiver/tenner/monkey/pony/blowjob for it"). Reply if I should bring it. G'night!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 0:28, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sad shut in evening thread, anyone?
How well do you dance;

a) sober
b) drunk
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 21:21, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

'Gurning Nazi cunt thread is dead' thread is dead.
Just saying, like.

Who will embarrass themselves most tomorrow?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:35, 51 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Gurning Nazi cunt thread is dead
I'm meeting chickenlady tonight for drinks, what is the rest of O/T up to later?

Alt: I am the artist formerly known as PJM. If you had to pick a new monniker what would it be?

Alt Alt: What's your worst Friday afternoon work beer experience?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:51, 253 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Best Picture Ever?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:22, 63 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey you gu-uys!
That's FILM. Do you like FILM? I like FILM. I like it so much I call it 'cinema'.

Alt: What do you like?

Alt alt: What's your most irritating personality trait?

Triple alt: Do you want to go to the yards with me?*

*If you get this 'FILM' reference without Googling then you are SKILL and ACE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:09, 223 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's Friday, it's 1Pm
It's time for "what are you doing this weekend" thread!

WooooooOOOoooo
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:12, 242 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm listening to the OMC and I have a brown banana
what are you listening to and what have you got?

also, what was the last thing to make you say 'How Bizarre?'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:35, 207 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's fucking Friday!
Apart from the fact that I've been up since 2am and have no payrise, this is still a good thing

How do you intend to celebrate this wonderful day? I am off to the pub for lunch, will be having Ye Massive Coffee and a bacon, sausage, egg and mushroom butty

Alt:
eBay. Wonder of the Internet or drunken mans curse?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 6:46, 202 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When was the last time you said something that people took too seriously and changed their plans as a result?
Gonz. I have no intention of punching you. It was a joke in response to what you said about Mrs Battered.

Come to Bristol FFS you annoying unhousetrained inbred.

Alt: good day?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 20:12, 94 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Evening thread then?
What do we think?

Why do we think it?

Two questions there for nuttin'.

Edit - three if you include the header. Four if you're wondering if I may have been drinking this afternoon.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 18:26, 123 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Favorite comedians?
Who are your favorite comedians gigging at he moment? Mine are Doug Stanhope, Micky Flannagan and Don Biswas.

Alt: Longest time you been awake for?
(Stibbins, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 16:30, 199 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What is this, fucking /links?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLrJUB2mBfc&feature=player_embedded

This long jumper made me laugh a lot.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 16:23, 20 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Lunch.
I'll bet most of you were on 'free dinners' at school you dirty povvos. What are you having today?

Alt; why did you last go to church?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:07, 359 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

G'Day Off-Topics
Question of the Week vote is HERE for the next hour or so
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:01, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

There was a copper knocking at the door there but I ignored it as I couldn't be arsed getting up.
When was the last time you ignored something that was probably important?

Alt: So gonz and battered are going to have a ruck. When was the last time you were in a fight?

Altalt: are you a racist?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:24, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

last night i had to help my girlfriends mum reset her digital tv
and she was shouting at me 'NO YOU HAVE TO READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS THE GOVENMENT PUT THEROUGH MY DOOR, FACTORY RESET THE TV, YAAAARGH' and i said no you don't and just fixed it by doing an autotune and she hit me on the arm.

When it was finished and she could watch emmerdale again she gave me an unnerving smile and i left.

When was the last time an old person hit you or gave you incorrect instructions when you knew better, or came onto you?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:20, 208 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning all
I'm struggling to understand how or why my sleep has been fixed. What things can you not understand? Anything odd happened to you lately? Apart from "that" time with the nun, the dwarf and the pack of butter....you sick fuck

Alt:
I have the "pleasure" of watching kids TV at the moment. It is shit. Best/worst kids shows from when you were a child?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 6:30, 206 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

MEmemememememmeme ME... and an evening thread.
I maybe possibly be being made redundant, they're restructuring Digital, starting from scratch by making up a load of job roles and everyone can apply for what they want but some people'll probably have to go and there are quite a few job roles that didn't exist before what with them rebuilding the main website in a language nobody on the current team knows.

I honestly believe I'll be alright whatever happens, I'm very good at what I do and can demonstrate the skills to do so, I doubt I'll be unemployed for more than a week, espesh with recruiters calling up so often.

I love the job and team and the company I'm in, but thats all changing, so maybe some fresh start'll do me good. I know from looking at the job sites there are a few dozen way-higher paid jobs that I think would like me. Money isn't much of a motivation for me, I'd rather take just what I need to live and be really informal or close to where I live.

Oh well, as the tatto says, Hakuna Matata.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 18:01, 242 replies, latest was 12 years ago)