Wow, that was threadier than Sports best Geordie clothes. Gan.
I missed you all. No question. Just missed you.

Alt: did you miss me?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 May 2012, 18:11, 54 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Dangerous moments
Park the Accords, ship out the supermodel and regale the group about the times when JUSTICE was not served. Basically tell us how you've been a daft cunt

Alt:
Describe yourself in 4 words
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 May 2012, 14:40, 372 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Does anyone remember...
A story on here years ago about a guy trolling a local paper "bonnie baby" competition. He photoshopped a baby and said it had some weird disease, I think he called it the wolf boy, or something like that. Does that sound familiar to anyone?

I am discussing whether it is ever ok to tell a parent that their baby is ugly. I think parents should deal with it and accept that their baby looks like a half chewed toffee, the girls in the office disagree.
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Mon 28 May 2012, 13:40, 81 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

With reference to my assumption about Swipe's accent in the previous thread...
I met my first b3tan on Friday night.

For those of you who have not met Al, he is pretty much exactly as you would imagine - grotesquely fat, bald and kept muttering unintelligible geordie nonsense about growing vegetables and how he would definitely run marathons if his foot was ok. Plus he was the rudest man I have ever met (he never once said thank you).

For those of you who have met him (or other b3tans) how did they surprise you, compared with what you had assumed about them from their online persona?

Alt: Not met any b3tans? Describe how you imagine another poster to be in real life. Bonus points if your character assassination makes them cry.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 May 2012, 12:07, 178 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey it's a news link about football and racism
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18192375

So Poland and Ukraine are full of rascist drunks and so shouldn't host football matches? Or should they and if there's racism then the match will be called off.

Will the Polish/Ukrainian fans embarrass themselves and end up getting a bunch of matches replayed? I think so.

Alt: How was your weekend? Fun? I went to parks and shit, it was good.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 28 May 2012, 10:26, 260 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm going to get a shitload of stuff done today.
Starting with sorting work for the summer. As long as this pounding headache and massive urge to throw up dissipate, of course.
Though I'm not sure I want to enter the real world, being a dickhead student is quite fun. When did you first realise you were a part of the real world?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 28 May 2012, 8:01, 163 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My head is fine
I've enjoyed a fun-packed weekend of drinking and sunshine and not broken up with anyone.
I'm a bit tired now, but I'm not going to let that bring me down.
Tell me about your happy lives and how a sunny weekend has enriched it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 27 May 2012, 21:45, 189 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My head hurts.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 27 May 2012, 10:45, 141 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's almost Eurovision!
Let's get our party on!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 26 May 2012, 19:48, 103 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i'm starting a thread because
I am grumpy even though it's a nice day. Also I have lunch. We never had saturday lunch threads, perhaps we could so that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 May 2012, 14:04, 58 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Friday night shut in rendevous
Why aren't you out enjoying the warm evening?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 May 2012, 20:44, 85 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm raising a glass for Poppet
Whats your tipple?

Alt: Why should you not rewatch old cult programmes?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:27, 13 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've started to get African spam emails in Spanish.
'saludos,


Somos de una de las familias reales de Ghana que han dado a varias tierras con el fin de la minería de oro en Ghana es rica en oro. Como resultado de los ancianos de las tierras de heces están sujetos a derechos de autor de vez en forma de tiempo de las empresas mineras.'

ETC

How about that, eh?

Alt: everyone loves a barbecue, don't they? But what's best on the old 'Klaus'?

Alt alt: Do you like cookery programmes? What, in your worthless opinion, is the best one ever?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:45, 194 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Forget football
two guys are having a meeting next to my desk and one of them just said "I've been trying to solutionise this..."

I think you mean SOLVE you cockend. How should he be punished?

Alt: What business-speak / grammar fail gets your goat?

AltAlt: I'm actually really interested in what you're having for lunch, honest.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:46, 191 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sepp Blatter has asked the Germans to look into alternatives to the penalty shootout to decide drawn matches in football.
What do you think they might come up with?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 11:03, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So Sportscow is encouraging me to go out and buy alcohol.
The problem is, if I do that, I'll be Sad-y McSadderson drinking by myself. I honestly can't decide whether or not it's better to be sober and alone or drunk and alone. What do you think?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 9:44, 99 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This weekend I will be mostly doing:
Some running, lots of DIY/gardening jobs, burning shit, drinking wine, eating curry and your mum, up the barking spider, using wet sand as lube. Fucking dirty bitch loves it rough

What does the weekend hold in store for you? Is the Sunshine bus taking you anywhere?

Alt:
Complain about it being *shakes hands and moans* too hot!!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 6:34, 144 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Evenin'
Who's got tomorrow off then?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 May 2012, 19:49, 57 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

RIGHT YOU CUNTS.
What would be your specialised subject on Mastermind? Do you reckong you'd be any good? I've known two family friends who've been on it, both said it was the scariest thing they've done and both were shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 May 2012, 16:28, 70 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fucking hell
Come on people!!

What are you most looking forward to/dreading about this summer?

Alt:
Beer/wine/spirits?

Special Alt (not Malt) for scarpe:
Milk/pop/juice?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 May 2012, 14:17, 163 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey Guys it's the new vote !
rob thinks offtopic is shit, and now that scaryduck has fucked off we still need the weekly one response thread

www.b3ta.com/board/10774648

IMPORTANT EDIT : THIS MEANS NO MORE MODS LET'S WRECK THE PLACE WOOOO YAHHHHHHHHH
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:31, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If you were to stand for Parliament what would your manifesto be?
Alt: what's the domestic task you hate the most?

AltAlt: Most disgusting item you've ever had in your mouth?*

*Other than a part of my parents anatomy obviously.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:27, 103 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I see that we have RABIES in the UK again.
I was always rather a fan of rabies. Do you like rabies?

Alt: I also like uremia - that's when you sweat piss. How smart is that? What's your favourite medical condition?

Alt alt: No, sorry. Not today.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 May 2012, 10:56, 125 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PSYCHCHOMP

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:04, 142 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning all
After a crap sleep, I found myself absolutely shattered on my way to work this morning. As soon as I got here, I made myself a bacon bap, and now I feel absolutely fine. Bacon has made me feel better. You could even say it's 'cured' me.

What makes you feel better in the mornings?

Alt: How are we?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:32, 73 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

oh hai!
I nearly stood on a bird yestarday and the cheeky fucker shat on my step. When was the last time you stood on an animal?

alt: salt and vinegar or cheese and onion?

alt alt: BRAINFART!!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 23 May 2012, 18:25, 73 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Tonight I will be appearing on Tellyboxes in a piece of hard-hitting Investigative Journalism.
When have you been on the TV?

Alt: Don't you know who I am?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:14, 159 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm really bored of looking for a holiday, nothing quite meets my expctations
What 1st world problems do you have?

alt: best holiday ever?

altalt: what's better explosions or implosions?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 May 2012, 11:34, 167 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

There's no new posts on the popular page this week.
We should all say our best jokes, that'll fill it up because we're all hilarious.

Here's mine, what do you call a Aligator in a vest?

An investigator.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 May 2012, 9:55, 171 replies, latest was 12 years ago)