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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Keith Allen, if you're there, we feel your pain.

(, Thu 7 Dec 2017, 14:31, 10 replies, latest was 2 days ago)
Foreign 'diplomats'
have taken Lily Allens flat using laws and she's upset about it.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU DEFLATING-FOOTBALL FACED TART!

It's probably ironic or something.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:46, 4 replies, latest was 1 week ago)

When dancing... lost in techno trance. Arms flailing, gawky Bez. Then find you snagged on frowns, and slowly dawns... you're jazzing to the bleep-tone of a life support machine, that marks the steady fading of your day old baby daughter.
(, Mon 4 Dec 2017, 10:22, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
First Saturday night in ages when I've not gone out
So, what do you internet shut-ins do on a Saturday night? I'm looking for suggestions other than DYAAKY.
(, Sat 2 Dec 2017, 19:08, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Non mental illness thread

(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 18:34, 3 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
It's December
and everything's cold.
(, Fri 1 Dec 2017, 15:31, 10 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
I'm going to London tomorow
Just thought i'd let you know in case you wanted to hastily arrange a terror attack or something.
(, Wed 29 Nov 2017, 13:46, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
I got a text message
saying my Whats app subscription had expired and I had to pay 0.99p for a lifetime subscription by following a link.

Naturally I took advantage of this fantastic offer, which came at a crucial time as I am currently awaiting a payment from the Prince of Burundi who needs to move some money out of his country.

What's the shittest scam you've been exposed to m9s?
(, Sun 26 Nov 2017, 16:36, 26 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
And now Reg Buttress.
Sad tiems.
(, Wed 22 Nov 2017, 10:37, 5 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Whatever happened to
Rodney Bewes.
(, Wed 22 Nov 2017, 0:54, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)
Porking in the air

She had a lovely pair
I thought I'd try to touch her thigh
The thing I want to show is trapped behind my fly.

I hope she doesn't bite
She better hadn't fucking chew
I'll wave it in her face, then poke her in the flue.

My manhood is unfurled
My testicles sway in the breeze
Did she notice the pills
Put in her Krispy Kremes?

Now she gazes open mouth
Taken by surprise
My studio assistant can't believe her eyes

I shaved my pubic hair
To make my cock look big, no lie
This isn't going well
She's poked me in the eye

'Come on, please. Take a look, at my big Welsh Leek
Please arouse this mighty monster from its sleep'

Now I'm due in court
Because of frigid bitches moans
I can't control my dick, my name is Aled Jones.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 8:26, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
Collarspace thread

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:34, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
I've been coerced into secret santa for
£10 which I always get wrong. What's the
shittest secret santa gift you've been involved with?
Also in England secret santa should be called Furtive Father Christmas.

It's for a bloke who likes technology. Any suggestions gratefully received. Not ones about fucking off.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:58, 14 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Er ... anyone having anything nice for breakfast tomorrow?

(, Tue 14 Nov 2017, 22:08, 6 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
And now Chuck Mosley.
:(
(, Sat 11 Nov 2017, 1:52, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

You can't get shitter than a thick Rick Witter!
(, Fri 10 Nov 2017, 12:53, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)
M O R I B U N D

(, Thu 9 Nov 2017, 18:51, 10 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
O R G A N O G R A M!

(, Tue 7 Nov 2017, 11:49, 5 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
It's Friday, motherfuckers!
The sun is shining, I've just had some excellent work news and the weekend is looming large.
In the tradition of old-school O/T - weekend plans?
I'm off with the Doris for a nice dinner and some music on Saturday night and hoping for a chilled Sunday with my musician mates.

Alt: Lunch?
(, Fri 3 Nov 2017, 10:38, 4 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Happy Samhuin demonic
beings of the netherrealms. Is anyone doing anything worthy of note? Dressing up and going out drinking, or giving small children sweets?

This is the first year for ages I've not done massive drinking on the Hallowe'en weekend. Think I'll change that tonight.
(, Tue 31 Oct 2017, 16:14, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Christ
This place is dead, isn't it?
(, Fri 27 Oct 2017, 10:01, 9 replies, latest was 7 weeks ago)
The black death is back.
In other news, men touch womens bottoms without their permission.
(, Thu 26 Oct 2017, 8:57, Reply)
We half half a dozen
German Shepard and Labrador puppies in the office today.

All of them are being trained as guide dogs, so they have spent the morning being told that lifts aren't scarey and barking.

Fair made my Monday this has.

Anything interesting in your workplace?
(, Mon 23 Oct 2017, 12:50, 6 replies, latest was 7 weeks ago)
Someone gave
me some hot sauce made out of Carolina reaper chillis. It's inedible unless diluted with ketchup, and this morning my stomach's making disgruntled noises. A bit like if you were listening to the Major from Fawlty Towers talking but someone had put a rubber sheet over his face.

What's the hottest thing you've ever eaten? Why don't you tell me? What are you hiding?
(, Sat 21 Oct 2017, 9:39, 7 replies, latest was 7 weeks ago)
Alright

(, Fri 20 Oct 2017, 8:13, 4 replies, latest was 8 weeks ago)
BREXIT

(, Wed 18 Oct 2017, 13:32, 3 replies, latest was 2 months ago)

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