Morning all!
How was your Valentine's day? Alternatively, if you're single, how was Single's Awareness day?

Alt: I don't know, erm, what's your favourite piece of art? For me, it's got to be Michelangelo's David.

Sorry Shambo, I just have no answer for your thread.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:44, 244 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I had a good day AA.
Work was okay and City didn't lose.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)

meh
alt: favourite as a cultural influence - Duchamp's Fountain. Hilarious joke/cultural comment/philosophical question and still fucks people off nearly 100 years later.

To look at: something by Van Gogh, I guess, or perhaps the photographer Sandy Skoglund. Or me, I'm ace.

edit: Sandy Skoglund's Revenge of the Goldfish cdn2.all-art.org/yapan/History%20of%20Photography/foto_story_begining/pi295-339_files/11a.jpg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)

I thought
You'd had said your Orange walls
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:55, Reply)

They are just the basis
for the art that I'm going to be littering them with
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:57, Reply)

You are going to have to get blue goldfish now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)

yes!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:25, Reply)

STARTLING INANITY IS STARTLING

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I booked a table for the wife and I but it wasn't the best Valentines ever.
Should've known better really, she's shit at snooker. /manning

We had a meal at home that I couldn't taste due to a cold, watched a couple of films and went to bed early for some snot-snarfling-heavy-snore action. Yep, she's a lucky lady that one.

Alt: I like his hair. Nice and curly
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:56, Reply)

What's this?
Valentines thread after the day and favourite art?

I think some work might be in order.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Stunned!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:03, Reply)

valentines day is shit
but art is great.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)

you people will appreciate this
spelling mistake of the day yesterday found while marking. Instead of specifically....spaffifically. Now there's a word begging for a definition
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:03, Reply)

spaffifically
A particularly accurate cum-shot
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)

spaffifically
The correct term for describing a woman's face after a particularly heavy bukkake session.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)

aren't you teaching adults?
because really ... just.... wow.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

16+
but they are at various levels in their literacy, to be polite
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:22, Reply)

a) surely they are using computers which have spellcheckers
and b) still, just .. wow.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:23, Reply)

a) not always, for some reason the ones in the college are off for default
b) I know
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Art Stoodents, innit?

(pIumdozer We buy balloons, we let them go., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:25, Reply)

close enough, yes
and true to form, she (I think it was a she) is doing pretty well at the rest of it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:28, Reply)

speaking of which
I'm off to work to mark more of them

laters
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

I had an awesome curry, nice red wine and a good night's kip
I feel fucking brilliant today!

Art - I was most underwhelmed by the Mona Lisa. It was too small. Whilst I can appreciate most of the paintings/statues in the Louvre are brilliantly done, I actually think I prefer art in the form of buildings, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:03, Reply)

The mona lisa is pretty great
but it's hard to see for all the layers of expectation and tourists.

Photography is the best art form, painting is often overrated
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Actually, photography is great
I'm enjoying people's 366 photo thingies on Facebook
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Yeah
although I mean REAL photography, the bits everyone ignores - from Bill Brandt and Robert Frank to Cindy Sherman, Joel Peter Witkin (NSFW if you google, btw) and Martin Parr
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:21, Reply)

And the layers of filth.
It's practically black with centuries of italian belch splash.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Wasn't there a reproduction on the news a few weeks ago with more details in it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)

A contemporary portrait by one of his stoodents I think.
It's been cleaned so you can see more detail. The Mona Lisa is filthier than a spaniard's scrotum.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

could everybody just levae me a lone today?
i'm in considerable pain and i don't want any trouble
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Physical pain or mental torture?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)

both

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

He's pining for Sasha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

oh no i mean she did text me last night but i was with my girlfriend
sasha is so yesterday
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is easily the best news I have heard this morning. Awesome.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

thats out of order, i wouldn't wish physical pain and mental torture on my worst anyme

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Soz.
I obviously wouldn't wish pain on you. That would be harsh. I'm just celebrating the fact that fate has dealt you some pain.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)

thats still not the nicest thing you could do, i don't think its called for in this situation cos i actually thought we was budz

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Yeah. I was just stringing you along in case I needed a scapegoat for a murder or somebody to eat in the case of a plane crash in a remote area.
Soz.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)

oh ok, i do like to be useful
let me know if you need prints, a stove etc
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Cool. Cheers. Cool.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)

you totally wished me being shot in the face yesterday.
I'm going out on a limb and suggesting here that maybe that would hurt?

And, I mean, if I am actually your worst enemy, y'know, score, but I'd hope there would be real people that upset you more than some pixels.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:21, Reply)

hey wait a minute waht whoa?
i never said that at all you complete liar making me out to be some sorta psycho

i said thats waht stunned said to me thats all, id on't wish you any harm at all, i don't even dislike you really i just like to pretend

YOU FUCKEN PRICKNAMED SHITCUNT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:28, Reply)

phew. glad we cleared that up
so why are you in pain, anyway?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

you don't even want to know prickname, you don't even want to know

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Did Sasha run out of lube again?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

no, i would enjoy that
i'm into pegging and enjoy receiving bumsex from larger women, thats why
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Haha, here, get this for a medical invention. You know how you can get colonoscopies where they can take biopsises.
Well, how's this for an idea, an attachment for a colonoscopy where you go up the bioposy tunnel thing, and when it gets to the end, there is an electronic magnet that they can switch on'n'off. That way, they could use it to remove metal objects from one's rectum and you won't have to buy a whole box set of Blood Angel Space Marines again.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

hahahahahaaha!
WAHT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Sometimes I read something, have a conversation in my head which never happens out loud, and then I reply to that instead... it went like this...
/ac

You: I R IN LOTS OV PAIN
Me: Did she try inserting something up your bum and lose it?
Me: I wonder what happens if you lose something up there..
Me: Oh... they could do....
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:24, Reply)

man. that's epic even for you, mate.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Oh man, just to make it worst, I just copy'n'pasted it to my doctor friend who I quite like.
followed by "On a completely unrelated note: Did you have a good Valantine's day?* we still on for sunday?"

=/

I edited out the whole Blood Angel Space Marine bit, so I guess that's a little saving grace.

* I haven't established her relationship status yet.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:27, Reply)

They are made of lead though
Sorry to piss on your cornflakes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Still magnettic aren't they?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Not unless they also contain iron

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:30, Reply)

They're diamagnetic.
So ... no.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

i think you just lost this arguemtn by being A) Pedantic and B) a collector of warhammer

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Amazingly, I could actually remember this from being 12

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:30, Reply)

yeah and i bet your still a virgin

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Of course I am
My children were conceived using turkey basters and a German electrician
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:33, Reply)

i bet he was more of a man than you'll ever be

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:33, Reply)

i'm sorry sportscow i don't know why i'm being like this with you i really don't
i'm sorry, make it up toy uo soon xxx
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

WARHAMMER IS NOT A TOY

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

where did that come from????????????

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:35, Reply)

You said toy
I was simply being a bit thilly
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:36, Reply)

waht does thilly mean?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Well I was born a woman

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

i wanna hug, lets hug

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Lets get some hug on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:36, Reply)

nummynummynummynum

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

and also C) RIGHT, ON THE INTERNET
never a good move.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Mine was great, Crawley and Cheltenham lost and Southend somehow clung on to top of the league.
I'm such a romantic.

Alt: I don't have a 'favourite' piece of art, but I am very much a fan of public art and get really annoyed when people kick off about it being a waste of money. Which is probably setting me up for a trolling, saying that actually.

Shambo: I have no idea what music you like, but i have no hesitation in recommending Darren Hayman's 'Pram Town' to anyone.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)

You're so gay for Darren Hayman

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I am, I'd have his bumsex babies.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Its all about the anal today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)

today?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Go on then
*assumes position*
*lubes up*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Lube is for pussies.
wait...no...that's not right.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)

lolzers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:24, Reply)

re. your alt.
you are correct.

Although the one in Horsham does appear to be some bollocks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:23, Reply)

The Shelly Fountain
It's fucking hideous. And dangerous when it's below freezing because the water splashes everywhere.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:27, Reply)

haha, I'd forgotten how hideous it was
I only saw it once, one sad, boring sunday when I was stuck in Horsham
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Is that the odd sculpture thingy at the bottom of the main street, near Weatherspoons?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Yup.
I lived there for 5 years. Horsham, not Wetherspoon's.

Although...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I quite liked Horsham
Two of our customers are there so I've been a number of times.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Yeah, it was fine.
A little dull and too right wing for me really, but it's a pleasant enough place to live.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Alt: something something Neil Buchanan

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

ATTACK!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Go on, twat the hippy fucker!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)

It is art

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Michaelangelo's David?
You fucken homo

PS all art is shit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

His Pieta is a vastly superior work anyway.
David is well derivative.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

i think he only likes it for the naked man and his small willy which makes him feel better about himself

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

It's the only possible explanation.
The pinwillywoofter.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)

I heard they robbed Pieta for St Pauls

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

That would almost work if it weren't for the fact that it's in St Peters.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)

sheesh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Fucking Catholics spoiling our fun AGAIN.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:25, Reply)

St Peters is fucking amazing
I spent a happy day wandering round there and the Sistine chapel
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:27, Reply)

St Peters is probably the most hideous building ever constructed outside Birmingham.
It's like a golden wankfest of obscene wealth and appalling taste. The Raphael stanza and Sistine chapel are awesome but they herd you through like cattle and shuffle you back into the abomination of a cathedral. If it isn't bombed in the next war then humanity is doomed.

edit: and they've hidden the pieta - the only genuinely worthwhile piece of art in the place - into a tiny little dim corner behind a piece of shagged old plexiglass
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I see you are in a fine fettle today, Herr Doktor
I liked it, in a mega-Catholic temple of doom kind of way
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I suppose if you keep in mind that it's the outrageous evil lair of the ultimate Bond villain then it makes more sense.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:40, Reply)

It does need a few more sharks and missile batteries I feel

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Morning AA
Yesterday was generally a good day, I went to see A Dangerous Method with a friend. The film it's self was a bit of a disappointment. The actors all did well, Kira Knightly especially, although I usually cannot stand her, but the script was just too weak.

It's a real shame, because the early days of psychiatry are fascinating material and both Freud and Jung are characters worthy of films in them selves but it just lacked depth. The oddities and failings of both Freud and Jung were mostly glossed over, there was no real feeling of how revolutionary their work was and the love story was just not very credible, it lacked believable passion.

I suppose it was not a bad film for a mass market, but I expected more of Cronenberg and there was so much more that could have been done.
(pIumdozer We buy balloons, we let them go., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:23, Reply)

I rather liked the first two films Cronenberg did with Mortensen
So I'll likely give this one a try too, just not anytime soon.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I though A History of Violence very good.
To be clear this was not bad, but so far from what it could and should have been.
(pIumdozer We buy balloons, we let them go., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough
Have you seen Eastern Promises?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:45, Reply)

It was OK, for a tuesday.
my wife carved little hearts out of chorizo last night, and I don't think you can beat pork-based gestures of love.

Alt: It varies. I quite like Another Place and 20:50 so I guess I'm an installation cunt. Most of the art on my walls is my brother's but I've got a Lichtenstein and a Pollock that I quite like.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:30, Reply)

holy fuck, your amrried?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

shocking, I know.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

i'm stunned

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Chorizo lurve wins

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Stings a bit though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

hahaha!
zingy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:33, Reply)

pork based gestures of love rule
I got a roast ham joint and a jar of fancy wholegrain mustard for V-day. "I know what you like and it isn't flowers".

I have awesome sandwiches today.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Alt: My tastes run from Caravaggio and the Dutch old masters to graffiti and 60s psychedelic poster art.
I am also v keen on Aubrey Beardsley and Edmund du Lac.

PS morning.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Ponce.
"I went University at the Sorbonne, the Gabon, the Bourbon, the Gibbon." FFS.

I am too busy WORKING to appreciate art. Making the world of risk transfer happen. You don't think it transfers it's self? Well, do you?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)

I'm planning on transferring a severe risk of a broken nose to your face this evening.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Not that anyone would notice, given your already-hideous visage.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:44, Reply)

You can call me Ozymandias. King of kings.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I'll call you a fackin' ambulance you fucking chancer.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:47, Reply)

COME ON THEN.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:44, Reply)

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
*reverts to being 7 years old in the school playground*
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Would you like to see some puppies?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)

No just give me money.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

The pervs never gave us money in the '70s.
What a gip.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Couple of Spangles and a copy of Look-In if we were extra-dirty.
That was it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

la la la-la-la look-in, hey look-in, you're looking gooood

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)

I demand satisfaction.
Meet me outside the internet in eight minutes' time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:49, Reply)

You want a hand job?
Dorty fecker.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Yes please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

4 minutes and counting.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Oh man I have a 'lazy lob-on' already

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Nonsense
You are finished already and shamefully wiping yourself down
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I'm a quick reloader.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I feel lucky, punk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Morning Monty

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Justtakingashitlolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:47, Reply)

Valentine's day didn't happen due to my wife being away. Result. Saved me a fortune. So last night was braised shoulder of lamb, some TV, pub and a wank.

Regarding art; Lowry. I love seeing northern misery and despair.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Lowry is shite

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Said like a true miserable Northern bastard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Whilst this is normally true, I appear to be in a very good mood this morning
It will not last
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:44, Reply)

They are quite funny close up
He is shit at faces.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Matchstick men and matchstick cats and dogs
GET TO FUCK L.S.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:44, Reply)

There's even a song about him
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnRX6_Txpaw
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I really like that song.
My Dad used to play it for me in the car a lot when I was little. That and 'Running Bear' by Johnny Preston.

They both have a warm place on my iPod these days.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:51, Reply)

That song is more utterly bent than almost anything on earth*.


*it's even more bent than Scarpe - only just, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Apart from you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Ha. Bollocks is he!
The Lowry gallery is fantastic.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Opinions innit
His paintings just appear childlike to me. His hotel in Manchester was nice though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Even the floor in the Lowry gallery is bent.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Alt: not my favourite, but I am quite keen on George Shaw at the moment
www.theherbert.org/index.php/home/george-shaw-i-woz-ere-

Also, my friend made this, which I also like: www.theherbert.org/index.php/home/herbert-media/digital-experiences/cormac-faulkner
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)

GBH of the eyeballs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

My friend's brother made something that I rather liked
Now I'm trying to convince the fucker to do something similar for me, as it's rather good
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

That would be a cool t-shirt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)

I like that a lot.
But then I would as I am Gay For Jimi.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Alright, got a card which was nice and had a hard as fuck gym session.
I can barely move my arms this morning. And heading back to bris tonight for drinkies
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

hahahahahaha
you spent valantines day alone and now you have sore arms, sure you 'went to the gym'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)

*golf claps*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)

thats the sound his flabby arms made as they repeatedly bounced off his sweaty ballsak

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Who said I was alone? Shouldn't you be crying in a corner?
You're just upset that your hilarious deletion game has been done before.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

i'm definitely very upset
of course you were by yourself, you and swipe were masturbating yourselves to sleep, alone and crying on opposite sides of the country, destined never to have your flabby crotches meet
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Swipe is sound, I'm sure her crotch is held in high regard by all that visit it.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

yeah

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)

you're so weird about being alone
mind you, if i were as dull as you, it would bother me too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)

its jsut that you always go on about this boy and taht homo, it makes you come across quite needy

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

they're all the same boy
i'm not bothered about the others i see.

god, it's like you have other things in your life than my love life. do try and keep up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Also how are you getting sore arms from wanking? Didn't your mum show you how to do it like she did for the rest of us?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)

i just have an extraordinarily large penis, you know, like your mum did when you were born
oooooooooooooooh! snap
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Twins x

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)

i went to a burlesque drawing event (dr sketchy)
which was great fun. AND i won second prize (there were prob about 75-100 people there).

who knew i had such a talent for drawing nearly naked women, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)

women + using my head dobber , eh?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

You forgot this <s></s>

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)

That's something we have in common.
Although I don't like to show anyone my art.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

way to fill the void in your life on valentines there, you go girl

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

says the man who got divorced by his first bird
and now clings like a lovesick puppy to the second, panting ONLINE about his terror of being alone every two minutes?

smooth.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:01, Reply)

haha waht? my wife died in a car accident you insensitive git
not really, imagine if that were true, omg i bet you'd have felt bad there for a minute
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

as if
i'd have thanked god that it happened before you could breed. i mean, she was stupid enough to marry you. so her genes weren't worth passing on.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

totally harsh dude
no need to get twisted cos no-ones ever loved you enough
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

enough to divorce me?
sweet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

I'M GETTING VERY ANGRY THAT I'M ARGUING WITHA A RETARD

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:10, Reply)

that says much more about you than it does about me
look, i've seen your pic. i know you're just glad you found one woman to sleep with you, even if she did then get bored with you and divorce you.

of course, i am still worried about what you did to her guide dog.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Who do you think sasha is? Woof

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

dunno
possibly a work of fiction made up by a burger-flipping spastic in an effort to pretend he has a real job.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

i'm not doing this anymore, i don't like playing with you
your not very good at it and its upsetting me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:21, Reply)

is that what your wife said when she divorced you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

:(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

i was quite pleased with that ZING

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

oh fer fucks sake

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

A whole minute?
I doubt it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

well i doubt you'd have been counting but yeah maybe just a sec or two, amybe more i dunno
i've never seen a physical representation of rachelswipe's moral compass
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Who knew that plain fat middle class women were so desperate for attention that being a crap stripper isn't enough and they have to pretend to be a life model to shit artists too.
If that's not a sign of a healthy society then I don't know what is.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Baroness Warsi?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I find her disturbingly attractive
for a barely-coherent reactionary token brown person.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

It's an Ann Coulter thing.
She's probably repressing years of sexual filth and she'd almost certainly go like a belt sander.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I think I could only do either of them in the arse.
You've got to have standards.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

well, of course.
you'd have to Dutch Steamboat both of them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

I had an Ann Coulter doll once.
True Story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

"had"?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

in the end it looked like a plasterer's radio.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Threw it away.
It wasn't a sex doll. It was an actual dolly.

A yank friend of mine knew I thought she was a cunt and sent it to me.

EDIT: It used to spout reactionary drivel.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)

And you never wanked with it?
I smell a lie on the internet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Did I say that?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

someone else on here said it was stripping for fat women
er. no. not these two anyway. i hate to admit it, but they were seriously hot. one of them had the tiniest waist i've ever seen. maybe they weren't real burlesque dancers if they were meant to be fat? not my area of expertise.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Real burlesque died out decades ago.
Taking your kit off isn't burlesque. It's stripping.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)

hmmmm
one of them had a thong and nipple tassels and stockings. ok, stripping. the other one had a fur coat on. i think she was cold.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Could she swing the tassles in different patterns?
I have a genuine admiration for women who can properly coordinate their knockers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

no, she did not
she had to sit still, remember?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Pity.
It's about the only appealing thing about strippers until they start sticking amusing objects up themselves.

And you don't have to sit still for life drawing. Moving models are quite good exercise.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

steady, or I'll tell the lollipop story again
and lots of people got grimmed out by that. Although it's far from the most entertaining vaginal insertion I've seen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

bearing in mind
that 70 of the 75 were just there for a crafty behind-easel wank, it might not be quite as much of an achievement as you think, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

ha
it was just a pub in islington, no easels.

darling, you shouldn't judge everyone else by your own standards.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:01, Reply)

woah, hang on. In a pub?
This is genius! The difference between this and some woman stripping in the back room of a seedy north london boozer is that a few of you have pencils? How much do you pay for this? I totally need to meet the marketing genius who thought of this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

ha! i have no idea - it started in new york a few years ago
and now they do it in london too. it was only £10 though, so i don't think they make too much money out of it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Eh?
They've been stripping in the back rooms of pubs for a lot longer than "a few years".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

especially in Islington.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

About ten years ago a mate did a tour of strip nights in london pubs
he'd found a newsgroup with full listings and was determined to do all of them. Bearing in mind that he is a proper filthy welsh scrubber, he managed about forty and then became too depressed to carry on. One that he took me along to the poor girl had to turn on a fluorescent bathroom strip light and press 'play' on a knackered ghetto blaster before getting her blart and bangers out. Grim grim grim.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

i've only ever seen one stripper
at a party when i was at uni. the girl was about 1 year older than the birthday boy, and clearly doing it to pay rent or something depressing. her tits sagged at the age of 20, she had cellulite all over her arse, and the birthday boy was so baby-faced that it looked as if she were raping her own child.

it was seriously depressing!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

But if you smear it with a micron-thin veneer of irony or pretend that it is "burlesque" then it magically becomes empowering.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

serious answer is serious
i think for some women it probably is. the two girls last night were early 20's, both had amazing bodies, and were clearly happy to be marauding round the pub showing them off. but most of my friends, even the ones with spectacular figures, wouldn't do it for anything!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

in this case, "clearly happy" almost certainly equals "skull-crushingly insecure" you realise?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:21, Reply)

i wouldn't judge them unless i knew them
and why they did it.

i am surprised at you, darling. very shocked and surprised.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

what, in assuming that a large majority of women that claim that stripping is "empowering"
are actually massively insecure? I thought that was pretty much universally accepted.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

oh i don't know
i've never really paid any attention to the empowerment thing. to me, if you want to get your kit off, do it. if you want to keep it on, do it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Right. But my question was about what distinguishes those well-to-do girls from the working class girls who've been puckering their twats at punters in seedy pubs for the last fifty years?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:22, Reply)

watching fat tattoed chavs push their unwilling 16 year old sons
through doors in the Amsterdam red light district is considerably more depressing for humanity in general, believe me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

right of passage innit

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

surely a right of passage would be to let the poor fucker actually pull someone
rather than being scarred for life thinking sex is some dull mechanical thing with some cold, glazed-eyed machine?

bonus points for a "like your mum?" line here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

minus points for spelling
"rite of passage"

i think a "right of passage" is what you pay for in those places...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

I was just copying stunned, miss.
s'not my fault.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Quite rite.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Hahaha.
Been there. Done that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I saw your mum in Ye Old Axe on Hackney Rd last night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)

No one cares about your new part time job as jizz mopper upper.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Yeah ... it isn't good, is it?
I ended up in one round the back of Kings Cross after an afternoon in the Church .. it might have been called the Eagle but I was about 12 red stripe down so fuck knows. Even then it was horrible, with extra surreal points for it being sunday and daylight outside in October. Still, y'know. Served beer.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I'm a big fan of vagina
but faced with one that's been basted with cheap coconut butter and presented on a blanket on a pool table surrounded by woodbine-scented navvies it suddenly becomes less than arousing.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

never a truer word spoken.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

although woodbines GMTRFH.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:24, Reply)

They are my favourite.
It's real, none of this stage malarkey.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

No. See. If it was "real" then you'd be enjoying the view in the early stages of having sex with somebody.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

What?
By that rationale the only sexual transactions we can have as human beings are ones we are actually involved in? Which, blatantly, isn't the case.

What is it, if it's not "real"?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:37, Reply)

They are depressing and unpleasant places without exception.

I know this because I have been to all of them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

And did they collect the "drawing" fee by wandering around collecting pound coins in a pint pot?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

"contributions for the lass, c'mon"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

*tenbellslols*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:08, Reply)