I was trying to think of jokes about redundancy
And I realised I don't know any. DO you?

Alt: are there any subjects you can think of about which there are not any jokes?

AltAlt: if we (all the other countries) all got together could we Nuke America back into the stone age? I think this might be the safest course for all concerned.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 11:58, Reply)

alt: this is like googlewhacking
"perambulating ostriches". there are no jokes about this particular niche interest of mine.

and if there are, i'm just going to bury my head in the sand about them.
( rachelswipe can't tell the difference between battered & dozer, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:03, Reply)

*SPANG*

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Thanks for trying.
I know it's a weak effort, I'm hoping to get stomped frankly.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:05, Reply)

it doesnt count if you make a word up.

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:19, Reply)

true. but i didn't!

( rachelswipe can't tell the difference between battered & dozer, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:20, Reply)

how many employees does it take to fill out a P45?
None, you're all fired.
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:04, Reply)

This made be chuckle

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:05, Reply)

None that spring to mind.
All I can think of is the line from The Rutles about the man who was such a snob that he wore swimming trunks in the bath to prevent him having to look down upon the unemployed.

Alt: No.

AltAlt: No.

Hope this helps.
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:09, Reply)

I thought I'd made up a joke about unemployment
but realised it didn't work.
( Battered Nobody wants to buy your drugs here Louis, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:10, Reply)

now this is good
well done sir.
( rachelswipe can't tell the difference between battered & dozer, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:10, Reply)

I've just made up a shit joke about redundancy, if it helps.
David Attenborough is teaching a young boy about ant colonies. He says:
"You see that huge ant in the middle, with all the other ants bringing it food? That's the queen ant. The ants who are carrying the food into the colony, they're the worker ants. Those ones standing guard at the entrance to the colony, fighting off predators, those are soldier ants."

The little boy points to a sad looking ant sitting off by itself doing nothing.

"What sort of ant is that, Mr Attenborough?" He asks.

"He's not needed by the others," says David, "he's redundANT."

I think we all saw that one coming a mile off, yes?

EDIT: okay, it's shit. But I *did* make that proviso before I started, so if you read all the way to the end, you've only yourself to blame.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have a wee cry.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:14, Reply)

it's a cracker

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:17, Reply)

i'm leaving forever
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:17, Reply)

Hurrah!

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:18, Reply)

and thats when chandler gets to 10,000 feet down
and the water alien city rises out of the sea
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:20, Reply)

The team protects a chicken, given to them as a gift from an archaeologist
but when a bad guy shows up to abduct the fowl, the team must figure out the bird's link to Delboy falling through the hatch
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:23, Reply)

ross and rachel melvinned death on their first date at the planetarium

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:25, Reply)

Oh, now I'm confoosled.

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:27, Reply)

is exactly what gunther said when he found out that rachel ahd been a boy all along, and though he felt betrayed having spent so much time together on their road trip
he still loved her anyway
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:29, Reply)

ah fuck, i was sure i had spelled everything right in that post for a sec

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:30, Reply)

*deafening silence*

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:18, Reply)

you tried
and that's the main - well, that's A thing.
( rachelswipe can't tell the difference between battered & dozer, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:19, Reply)

you could work in there "Redone Ant" too.
Hah, were finishing off eqchothers jokes now how cute.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:24, Reply)

It's like we're soulmates!
/ac
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:28, Reply)

ulma domi
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:48, Reply)

Do you want to hear a funny hilarious joke about redundancy?
Do you want to hear a funny hilarious joke about redundancy?
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Yes
no.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:29, Reply)

You know, you only really needed to say that once.
Making the second time.....
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Old joke, tenuous connection...
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:35, Reply)

Bollocks.
Who uses the word 'bartender' in the UK?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Only a cunt, Jeff.

( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:41, Reply)

It's a good job we don't have any of those here, then...

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:47, Reply)