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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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20mins and no posts
Are you all too busy sifting chicken fried krill with your enormous baline filled mouths?

£5 flat fee fine. Who or what would you like to be able to charge with a £5 fine? i will nominated the wanker trying to pull in fropm the wrong lane on my commute this morning, thus avoiding the queue, NOT ON MY WATCH SUNSHINE!

alt alt: *sigh* lunch?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:20, Reply)
24mins and counting....

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:22, Reply)
£5 fine to your Mum for breaking my banjo string with her massive fat arse.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:23, Reply)
There's a good question
Virginity loss
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:24, Reply)
She did you a favour
otherwise you'd have to go jewish like AA, and Monty would no longer be your friend
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I am Jewish.
Including the popular operation.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Does Monty know this?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:30, Reply)
He does.
And refers to the Tribe as "one of your lot".
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:33, Reply)
It's the best you can hope for really

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:35, Reply)
It's a let off, isn't it?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Metro wankers with too loud hissy headphones on
Sympathy lunch reply - ham and grain mustard sammich
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I'm parked up in town, waiting for mr b3th to come out of his doctors appointment.
I'm enjoying the sunshine, subjecting passers by to my phat choons, and taking photos for my 366 project.
Alt: anyone who doesn't know why their car has indicators.
Alt alt: not for me thanks, I'm fine.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:27, Reply)
How's the zeppelin race coming along?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:28, Reply)
I'm bopping along happily in my seat to the music on my radio,
So it's definitely a two horse race.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:30, Reply)
+ black eyes

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:30, Reply)
I'll be handing out black eyes in a minute

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:32, Reply)
*motorboats*

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Motorboat?
Pedalo, more like.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:33, Reply)
*uses feet*

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Spank me B3th, you sauce bottle.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:33, Reply)
I say!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:34, Reply)
BY JOVE, what big hands you have.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:37, Reply)
catsup?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Nothing. Catsup with you?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:36, Reply)
nuthin'

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:45, Reply)
I declare that this thread is full of win!!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:48, Reply)
I declare that you are a bent, witless spastic.
/Monty
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:50, Reply)
It's like he never died

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Actually the wrong lane?
Or are there two lanes provided to ease congestion, but everyone insists on only using one out of some misguided sense of fairplay?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:49, Reply)
A left lane to turn left and a right lane to turn right onto the mini roundabout
I simply block the fuckers leaving them stranded on the roundabout in everyone's way
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Ok, fair enough
Just one of my many pet hates when driving.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Anyone who doesn't say thanks after you hold the door open for them.
And anyone who doesn't say please and thank you when ordering drinks at the bar. Winds me up beyond words.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:52, Reply)




Cheers
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:53, Reply)
This^
Thank you
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I don't say thankyou when someone holds the door open for me.
Look what happened to Hudson in the Great Escape.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:01, Reply)
danke

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:09, Reply)
i would enforce a £5 fine for people who start tedious threads

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:53, Reply)
http://b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1542238
£5 please
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:54, Reply)
that thread has hundreds of replies, i win

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:55, Reply)
97

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:58, Reply)
literally hundreds

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Man, you'd be down(s) a shitload of cash

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:54, Reply)
it would make me up my game somewhat

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:56, Reply)
Just pretend then and save each £5

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Sorry, am rather busy today
I'd charge my housemate £5 everytime he mentioned football, as he just sounds ridiculous every time he speaks.

Alt: Once again, rabbit curry.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:53, Reply)
That rabbit curry runs and runs, doesn't it?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Not anymore it doesn't
I thought I'd managed to debone it rather well, the vertabrae I just chewed on shows me that there is still more I could have done.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:55, Reply)
He's got more rabbit than sainsbury's

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:56, Reply)
Its time B3th got it off her chest

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:57, Reply)
*thinks about b3th's chest*

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Oh FUCK I'm bored.
This place is a fucking mortuary this week.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:14, Reply)
I'm listening to red fang
what are you listening to?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:16, Reply)
My bosses' boss talking shit on the phone to a customer
*dons earphones*
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:19, Reply)
Now Stone Temple Pilots - Sex Type Thing
nice
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:19, Reply)
My boss complaining, currently
But at lunch, I had a listen to some Behemoth
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:22, Reply)
I'm listening to this:
www.trunkrecords.com/turntable/seasons.shtml
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:35, Reply)
I was bored but then I started listening to the music from Sonic on the Mega Drive.
This is actually amazing: youtu.be/qYPNUyPgfdQ
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:20, Reply)
ffs

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:21, Reply)
You can't bring me down today I'm in too good a mood.
I'm on a nostalgia trip init, but it's more the fact the music (from the first one especially) is actually class.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:24, Reply)
I'm not trying to bring you down
I'm just saying listening to music from comuter games is both retarded and indeed bent
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I'm not listening to anything because I'm at work.
I'm actually doing work to get away from the crushing tedium of B3ta. MY WORLD HAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:21, Reply)
It is a bit of a ghost town on here lately
Everyone here, check in please!
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:23, Reply)
sportscow reporting in

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Kroney, sir!
Standing by
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:23, Reply)
present...sort of

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:25, Reply)
Right, I have a conf call with a load of proper chchchchhaaaalm down Scousers in 3 mins
I need a list of words to shoehorn into the chat
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:27, Reply)
flange

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
They do though, don't they.
They do, do that.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Check!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Hillsborough

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:36, Reply)
That was in Yorkshire. ;-)

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Bigley

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:36, Reply)
And that was in Iraq
What's your point, Stunned?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Hillsborough is not from Liverpool.
I had no point tbh. Just, you know, posting for shiggles.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Check!
Disguised as biggy!
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Not the same.
/marked down.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:59, Reply)
Grief athlete.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Meff

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Barry's here for duty.
But not for long I don't think, I fancy popping down to Osborne Road cos the weather's nice, I've got new shades that need an airing and pints of Sagres are two quid in Ru Bar at this time of day.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Good call

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Osborne Road when it's sunny is one of my favourite places in the world.
Some of the bars are utter shit but the good ones are proper lovely places.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:29, Reply)
It is indeed a nice place to beer up
Some decent places to eat too
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Is it oop Noorth?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
yep, Newcastle

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Shame.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Quitnen!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:27, Reply)
(private pyles)

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Broadsword calling Danny Boy. Over.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:29, Reply)
One of my fave films.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I can't remember what it is from!
ARGH!
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Where Eagles Dare

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Where eagles dare.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Pfft.
Where Eagles Dare! Twunt!

The two lead actors?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Yay!
Love the sig.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Changed it yesterday after watching the programme about the nutters in Luton.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:38, Reply)
Clint Burton and Richard Eastwood

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:35, Reply)
Clit Burger and East Dickwood

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Clint Dempsey and Joey Barton.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:38, Reply)
Ice Cold in Alex

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Me in Gerrrads wife.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:37, Reply)
It's the text alert on my phone.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Popping in and out

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)
AA, reporting in
You cunt
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:35, Reply)
You are dismissed.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Woo hoo!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:54, Reply)
TMB.
present and correct.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Well, present.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Red Stunned, standing by.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:29, Reply)
haha!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Red October, shtanding by.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:30, Reply)
*hunts*

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)
plays tennis after 9am and before 11am

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Simply Red, standing by.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Red Rum NYYEEEEIIIIGH hrumph

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)
$5.00 is hardly a detererent

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:25, Reply)
yeah, but £5 is

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:25, Reply)
Yes even that.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:26, Reply)
it's supposed to be petty things really
like people who have to stop before getting onto an escalator.

look out out for the magic moving staircase that disappears under the floor it might steal your soul or the soles of your shoes
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:28, Reply)
Witchcraft!
It's witchcraft I say!
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)
You say that.
There are loads of people in major English towns that are having their first escalator experience.

/jonnystairclimber.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:36, Reply)
I've been doing some exercise recently
and now I have crippling shoulder pain. Don't do it, kids, it's bad for you.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:41, Reply)
Was this "gentlemen's exercise"?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)
"Executive relief".

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:46, Reply)
This site has an unhealthy obsession with onanism.
I am appalled. Appalled and revolted. And repulsed. Appalled, revolted and repulsed.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:47, Reply)
And curious.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)
and thirsty

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:03, Reply)
i knew a girl called kirsty once

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:03, Reply)
Were you helplessly in love with her?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:11, Reply)
for a day, yes

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:34, Reply)
what about revulsed and appolted?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)
"an unhealthy obsession with onanism"
Matched only by human males.

Which rules...zzzzzz.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I'm off to sit in a beer garden and enjoy the weather.
I may also ogle all the hot student totty. Enjoy the rest of your working day everyone.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:25, Reply)
I am insanely jealous of Barry right now

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:30, Reply)
I've always hated him with hgis "tees" and days ourt with his "mum"

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:31, Reply)
I feel I must defend mr Barry here
He is a top chap
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:35, Reply)
he won't bum you for white knightng him
also i was takin the piss, I've never met the coat stealing, designer clothes wearing student bastard
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:38, Reply)
He won't?
Bollocks
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:42, Reply)
give him a cow lick

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)
It's a surefire winner

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)
I'm in the pub right now
There is no hot student totty though. Only red-faced old Irishmen.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Check again
to be sure
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:57, Reply)
bloody hell it's dead on here
Somebody at work just looked out of the window and said, "The sun's trying to come out" and I immediately said "from Annie's disappointing sequel" to universal bafflement. I blame b3ta.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:33, Reply)
hahahaha!
Always a day away
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:35, Reply)
People who suggest that the weather is "trying" to do anything are cretins

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:35, Reply)
It's not MENSA here

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:37, Reply)
your telling me

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:37, Reply)
MORE LIKE DENSA
Am I right?

huh am I right?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:38, Reply)
In the Ape household

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:52, Reply)
WE'RE APES WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:57, Reply)
*licks*

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Shall I call for a priest?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Are you lookiong toi acquire a young boy for the night?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)
No, I still have an anus in the freezer. I was talking about reading the last rites.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:48, Reply)
I'm good thank, everyone knows that the devil gets the best music

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Not for you spakkers, for OT, she be dying.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:50, Reply)
CLEAR!
*zaps*
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Pax huic důmui.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Bless you

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)
im attempting to throw a sickie but I cant find anyone to cover my shift
The bastards
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:49, Reply)
How the fuck does that work then?
What happens if you are in a coma? Do you still have to go to work?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Are you still angry with me?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:56, Reply)
I am

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Now, why are you angry with me?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:00, Reply)
This thread

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:02, Reply)
start a new one then...
Anyway it's the responses, not the question that make a thread, so there
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Done.
Join me.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:19, Reply)
And for offtopic being quiet

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Hey, some of us are trying to post
to post
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:04, Reply)
And for being bent.
And a spastic.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:05, Reply)
You can't be angry at me for that, it's not really my fault
you wouldn't smack a retard for shitting in your pot plants would you?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:07, Reply)
And for the frustration of posting from a phone.
And for the baby waking up before I've finished my pint.
I might start a new thread.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:08, Reply)
If you've had the presence of mind to pre-arrange cover
wouldn't that make it look like you weren't actually sick?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:57, Reply)
maybe it's a recurring illness

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:57, Reply)
cottonponyitis?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:58, Reply)
that's the bugger

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Always looking on the bright side there!

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:01, Reply)
everycloud has a silver lining
every bleed has a shitty alternative
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:01, Reply)
One up the bum, no harm done

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:02, Reply)
round the corner chocolates made

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:06, Reply)
im at work now, stupid

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:08, Reply)
what the fuck is baline?
i would charge the tube £5 every time it makes me late. i would be a millionaire.

i just texted a b3tan an INXS based joke, and used the word autoeroticasphyxiation. this is the longest word i have ever texted (usually they just have 4 letters). made me think what a fucking rank practice that must be. ever choked anyone? or been choked??
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:08, Reply)
I've choked the chicken
Baleen: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baleen
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:10, Reply)
wanna give it a go?

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:14, Reply)
sure. i'll watch you
off you go michael
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:17, Reply)
i'll wait til i get homwe, no point messing up the office

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:18, Reply)
make sure to squeeze so tightly that everything goes black
around the neck, i mean.

oh.

wait.

you're not the right man for this job, are you, neckless?
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:24, Reply)
well played

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I KNOW
I WAS RIGHT PROUD OF THIS ONE
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:45, Reply)

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