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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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ESSAYS!
So I've got 2000 words to discuss violence and the wider social, psychological and moral issues raised by it. So far I've got 2061 and I've not written a conclusion/introduction yet.

I don't want to crop out all my badly-researched Foucault/Marxist criticism. Tell me some good uni essay anecdotes.

Ed: Violence in 'Great Expectations' and 'North and South', mid-Victorian literature basically.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:28, Reply)
I am a master of the Uni essay.
Perfectly researched, quotes picked, planned and drafted in 10 hours flat.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:31, Reply)
I can't stand how I'm being limited by word count
My friends at other unis get an average 3000 word count, not 2000. At least they've got the space to develop an argument.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:38, Reply)
so write 3000 and condense it down
+/- 10% is usually allowed too so you have 2200
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:51, Reply)
It used to be only last year
that if you were only 1 word over, you'd get hit for 5 or 10% of your mark. They've changed it now, but I'm still a bit 'oh em gee need to be under the word count!1'.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:56, Reply)
I never went to Uni.
I was too busy getting involved with viloence and the wider social, psychological and moral issues raised by it.

Fancy a scrap?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:31, Reply)
You're just reacting to the bourgousie.
God I can't even spell it, let alone react against it.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:35, Reply)
Like I care.
I don't even LIKE pasta.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:42, Reply)
That's YOUR issue, biznatch.
My pasta brings all the... Italians to the yard?

SHUT UP.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:56, Reply)
Their penne, is better than yours.
(Or summat)
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:00, Reply)
My penne is mightier than the sword.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:03, Reply)
I've considered all the other types of pasta I can think of
And have concluded that that is about as good as it can get.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:09, Reply)
Yeah I struggled as well.
Had to actually listen to 'Milkshake' to think of a shit pun.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:15, Reply)
Lalalalala
Warm it up, the sauce is waiting...?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:10, Reply)
User name is far, far too close to someone who caused a lot of shit on here.
Who are you, and what have you got?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:32, Reply)
Er, what?
A lot of shit on offtopic? I got pretty much blasted on /talk a few years back for being a whingy twat, if that's what you mean.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:34, Reply)
Are you BatShitMentalist?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:35, Reply)
No no no.
I used to be BatDyke until I shortened it.

As I say, /talk regular until they and I decided I wasn't. To be fair I was a twat, like I say.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:36, Reply)
What made you el twatto?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:45, Reply)
I was a teenager and trying ever so hard to be cool.
I should think I wouldn't have liked me either, I was all 'LOOK I'M DIFFERENT!'. Also many of the /talk in-jokes went over my head so I wasn't finding it that enjoyable. Which I guess is sour grapes.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:49, Reply)
You should gaz Free Fair.
He might do well to listen to you.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:50, Reply)
Is this another me?
You know, 'Check me out, I'm on b3ta and that makes me COOL' types?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:52, Reply)
He's a dickhead.
A 16 year old Tory.

And a dickhead.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:53, Reply)
I work with one of those.
'Oh Cameron is just trying his best, benefits claimants are just scroungers'. He doesn't appreciate my sarcasm.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:59, Reply)
Cameron is a dangerous amateur.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:03, Reply)
I like the photoshopped Tory election poster
picture of Cameron with caption: "I love the NHS so much I want to smash it into pieces and give them to my rich friends."
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)
Haha way of the mark there, I reckon ;)
None of the telltale signs, or anything!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:47, Reply)
Not offered bumhole shots, then?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:49, Reply)
Ew, BSM did that shit?
That's nasty.

AND you confused me for them?!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:50, Reply)
Nah, I was all bullshit conjecture.
The way things tend to get on t'interwebz.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:18, Reply)
That was always my opening line when recruiting new staff
Welcome to O/T.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:41, Reply)
Oy, don't be a cunt.
Wasn't "that" much shit, yeah?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:49, Reply)
I recommend that you delete every fourth word
And then delete your account and kill yourself.

Hope this helps x
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:38, Reply)
K LOL THX
xxxxx
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:38, Reply)
Stock answer is stock Tangles.
I think you should add some spice to it, 'cos it's evening time.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:42, Reply)
Tango is actually Bert.
We all know it to be true.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:44, Reply)
Who is Tango?
*Confused*
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:45, Reply)
Tangles, Dup and 'Hairy Quendface'
Are all Tango.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:48, Reply)
which one is Dup?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:22, Reply)
Rumbled
And I would have got away with it, if it wasn't for stupid sexy underage sisters.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:47, Reply)
This one is genuine, I think
Gabba gabba we accept you one of us.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:47, Reply)
I think they've already left
Edit: No, my mistake. They stuck around.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:48, Reply)
Thing is though, with a genuine gayer on OT, would we have to call a halt to the quendisms?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:50, Reply)
Who's a genuine gayer?
And what?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:51, Reply)
Aren't you a lesbian?
And quendisms.

Duh.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:52, Reply)
I think I used to think I was.
Some of the issue was I was being all 'I'm so offensive with my b3ta name! Aren't I cool with my GIRLFRIEND?!', but no, I guess now I'm just happy being me.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:54, Reply)
So your story is that B3ta cured your munching ways?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:55, Reply)
Are you Badger?
I think time cured my teenage attention-seeking ways, if that helps. She says. Posting about it on the internet.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:00, Reply)
I am not Badger.
But I like the cut of his jib.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:03, Reply)
I like his fiance.
Wicca'd Witch makes I laff.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:04, Reply)
They really are the Jabba the Hutt and Salacious Crumb of the internet.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:05, Reply)
I had to
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Salacious_B._Crumb that, but lololol.

Aw.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:11, Reply)
Pretty sure the profile says lesbian

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:55, Reply)
Exactly.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:55, Reply)
Really?
*Changes the magical internet-movable-type*
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:57, Reply)
No problem with you being slightly mental.
But on the 'Gazza' scale, are you nearer a 10 than a 1?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:01, Reply)
I'm no more mental than the rest of b3ta, I shouldn't think.
I was just young, inexperienced and a bit up myself. What's the Gazza scale? I don't follow football.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:03, Reply)
Moaty, it's me, Gazza.
Want some chicken?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:04, Reply)
Ah, the 'nuts to the certifiable' point.
Nah, I can't be bothered with the commitment of being *that* mentalist. Bad enough I still feel tarred with the same brush the 17 year old 'omg im so cool lol' me was tarred with.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:06, Reply)
Clearly you do, you know who Gazza is.
I'll bet 'cause you don't really 'follow' football, you like Man United the best, because they win things.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:05, Reply)
I guess if I was going to follow a team
it would be either them or Chelsea, as my Mum was a Man U fan and my Dad a Chelsea supporter.

I'd still rather play Minecraft or something though.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:07, Reply)
I don't 'game'
Is minecraft a bit like mine sweeper?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:10, Reply)
I guess.
It's like if you were in a Lego world, but you mine stuff (diamond, coal, gold) to craft stuff (weapons, minecarts, torches). It's kind of fun, in that it's quite sandbox-ish. Not sure if it's still free-to-play as a browser game but there's videos online.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:13, Reply)
Do you LARP?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:15, Reply)
Fuck no.
I'm not that bad.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:19, Reply)
Cavy is a LARPer, we all like her.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:22, Reply)
No, that would just be bent.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:52, Reply)
I'm here.
I got distracted by trying to crop my useless attempt at an essay I think.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:51, Reply)
Don't crop it. Give it a Brazillian.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:55, Reply)
Brazil nuts?
Smoooooth.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:00, Reply)
I'm not a 'start thread and leave' type.
I wouldn't do that to you, not my pretties. Oh no.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:53, Reply)
Bats
TD approves of you. Don't attempt to post during the day or you'll be demolished by dullards who don't know what it is to work for a living.

I commend Bats to the house.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 22:59, Reply)
I commend Bats to the belfry.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:00, Reply)
I'm only here for the free nibbles.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:01, Reply)
Hey! I'm one of those dullards
Er...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:02, Reply)
Daytime is fun.
All Bats has to do, is add to their sig, 'as proposed by TD' and they'll be fine.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:02, Reply)
*Scribbles on a notepad*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:03, Reply)
TD is not the most popular brand amongst certain daytime users.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:04, Reply)
What about Nutella?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:04, Reply)
Vile
Go away and try again.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:05, Reply)
TD is a terrible pederast during daylight hours.
At nighttime he is an inveterate quender.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:06, Reply)
Hang on, isn't that all of us?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:10, Reply)
No, just me, because I don't look like a man out of Maroon 5.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:14, Reply)
Shoegazer effeminate?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:16, Reply)
That boy is.
This boy is well whipped up because he's going to see Killing Joke in Sheffield on Friday.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:19, Reply)
That's quite exciting.
I'm desperate for another gig - the last one was probably 2009 that I went to, and that was J-pop rubbish.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:28, Reply)
Is this where everyone went?
Nobody told me.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:05, Reply)
Oh shit she's found us

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:07, Reply)
I mean... Hi b3th

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:07, Reply)
Fuck you, bitch

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:09, Reply)
I take this moment to say
'Lol.'
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:16, Reply)
Hello. Who are you?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:17, Reply)
B3th meet bats
She's not a lesbian, apparently.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:19, Reply)
Has anyone established her credentials?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:20, Reply)
There should be something
about 'transgender' 'LAMP' and 'grandparents' in my post history. Establish away.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)
Show her your minge.
If she tries to eat it, send up the warning flare.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)
Who's gonna stop me?
YOU?!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:22, Reply)
Not at all.
I wouldn't dream of it.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:23, Reply)
Bet you wouldn't.
Er, I mean... wait what?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:26, Reply)
Claims not to be Batshitmentalist
Hasn't been given the traditional FOB
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:22, Reply)
Fuck Off Bitch?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:22, Reply)
Close - Bert
Although it appears that I am back on the list for that one.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:24, Reply)
Bert.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:24, Reply)
Who's Bert?
Not Cuffbert the cat?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:25, Reply)
My spider sense is tingling

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:27, Reply)
Why?
Do you have a thing for small furry creatures?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:29, Reply)
It might be a stroke
Can you raise both arms above your head?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:30, Reply)
That's because you've shown Bats your minge.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:31, Reply)
How very dare you!
I've never shown anyone my minge. Ever. Not once.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:33, Reply)
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
The filthy slut.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:34, Reply)
It's like you know me

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:36, Reply)
Maybe I DO.
*Twilight Zone theme*

On that note I'm off to bed.

Night all.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:37, Reply)
I'm sure I was only saying yesterday
That we haven't had a good bertdown for a while.
I'll have to get Roota on the case.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:24, Reply)
is Roota enjoying her new job?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:34, Reply)
As far as I know.
I'll be seeing DJ at the weekend, so I'll catch up on all the gossip.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:37, Reply)
Well I hope it's all going well.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:37, Reply)
Far too clever for Batshit.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:37, Reply)
I'm still not convinced.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:39, Reply)
It's not Batshit.
Far too sharp. And you might ask Roota who did a lot of the legwork for her.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:43, Reply)
I'm an ex-/talker.
Also girl and gamer and student and whatnot.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:20, Reply)
Jenpots?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:20, Reply)
I wish.
She'd kung fu me into oblivion. I'm mostly forgotten in that I was never a major meme/player/user.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)
Get over yourself.
I remember you Dave.
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 0:21, Reply)
RUN

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:07, Reply)
Had a good day b3th?
I've had a cunt of a day.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:09, Reply)
Not bad,i suppose.
I actually haven't left the house in two days.
What's been so cunty today?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:13, Reply)
I had next week booked off.
And now I need to work.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:15, Reply)
That's shit.
Didn't you just have a week off?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:16, Reply)
No.
I've had a couple of days off this year, and I'd been planning on taking a week off, but there is too much going on, so I've been asked to shelve it.

I'm not even that important, but you've got to play the game.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:18, Reply)
Aw.
You're important to us.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:19, Reply)
But I'm too busy to be here during the day.
And the evening is just full of fluff and nonsense.

I've not been on the popular page for weeks.

*sobs*
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)
I don't even look at the popular page.
Do people actually care about that shit?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:22, Reply)
No idea.
To be fair, I've not looked at it.

When are you heading to Briz?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:24, Reply)
Not till next week, if at all.
I'll let you know.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:25, Reply)
Make sure you do.
And let me know when you're heading up so I can try and find you some time!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:27, Reply)
No bother. Look forward to it.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:28, Reply)
If you can give me 24/48 hours notice, I can make plans to leave work at a resonable time.
So schedule your meetings in the late(ish) afternoon.

I'll even buy you dinner and walk you to the station, such is my status as a perfect gent.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:33, Reply)
Unless it's raining, in which case, I'll get a cab to the station.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:33, Reply)
Even without Amberl there to back you up?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:35, Reply)
She is welcome to join us.
But I've been known to fly solo!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:35, Reply)
I bet you have!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:37, Reply)
As a 'man about town' I move in all manner of ways.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:41, Reply)
Like god

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:42, Reply)
In a blue 3 wheeler.
Like the massive spaz I am.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:43, Reply)
I always took it to mean
'If you care, you care because you're on it'. Kinda like those magazines about the pop stars. They complain about being in People/OK!/Reveal so they can get more inches in each magazine.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:25, Reply)
I've clicked that for you

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:23, Reply)
Cunt.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:24, Reply)
Fuck all you weeping septic cunts.
I'm going to bed but I'm liking the cut of this new one's jib.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:27, Reply)
Thanks, fuckwit.
:D
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:30, Reply)
Well you're better than Maladismal

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:34, Reply)
That's not going to bed.
GO TO BED.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:35, Reply)
I'm sticking up for you.
Everyone else is burning you in the big effigy.

If I want to stay up a bit later I can. I'm nearly 44, you know.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:40, Reply)
but she's a gurl
should there not be pandering?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:46, Reply)
Where did you spring from?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:50, Reply)
The usual
Mothership left me hear and fucked off, hope it comes back soon, humans are dull.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:51, Reply)
That's how I got here.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:53, Reply)
My essay is more boring than yours

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:48, Reply)
What has this got to do with milkshakes and yards?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:49, Reply)
and with the image of bobby in hotpants...
I'm off to bed, night all.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:50, Reply)
+ to crack one off

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 23:54, Reply)
I'm really rather drunk
Barolo is excellent. I commend it to the house.

Hello Bats, and goodnight. Time for bed.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG_gvv8PFGY
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 0:05, Reply)
As a fine upstanding citizen of Glasgow I shall share my wisdow with you.
Violence is always the answer. Stich the cunt, stich them hard so they don't get back up again.
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 0:16, Reply)
HELL YES MUMPSO!
Man I LOVED living in Glasgow almost as much as my hometown.
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 0:20, Reply)
Meh, take out about 150 words chosen at random.
Or just take out ALL the words and instead scrawl "VILENSE IS GUD!" on a piece of A4 and submit that.
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 0:19, Reply)

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