i hate these massive pushes to promote women in the workplace
i got my job and my recent promotion to senior solicitor due to bloody hard work and having a few IQ points, not because of positive discrimination ffs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:54, 6 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

And the smashing blouse you were wearing.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

the one without any buttons you mean?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

That's the one.
it just accidentally pops open.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

where's quentin to say that the lard pushes its way out between the buttons?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

All his clothes have velcro fastenings

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

* prepares for an anti Rik Mayall rant from Boyce *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

christ i thought it was richard branson at first glance
i don't know which dick would be more insulted
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

He has only been funny once.
A quad bike was involved.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Wasn't that Ozzy Osbourne?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Happened to both of them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Ahh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Ozzy suffered a similar drama a few years later.
Mayall sustained brain damage. Tellingly it appears to be unnoticeable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

a
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

They had this problem when I worked at Coca-Cola.
A load of black female employees got together to form a class action suit claiming that they were under represented in middle and senior management positions.

They won and a load of people were fired or moved in to different jobs to make way for a load of talentless women darkies.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:57, Reply)

it's really irritating
if they want more women/people from different backgrounds to be promoted, they don't shove existing good people out of the way. they change the system so that the under-represented can actually stand a chance of getting the jobs. eg the massive barking elephant in the corner of the room, that not one person will discuss, is that women's careers tend to stall when they have kids.

so don't set up "female mentoring" schemes that are just a load of lip-service. set up a creche. or actually allow women to work from home part-time. or try giving them a job if they've had 2 years off. grrr.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

in fact as i have no sprogs, the current system actually benefits me hugely
but i hate it so much that it irritates me non-stop
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Agreed.
Actually, I would say I'm far more productive at work now that I've had a kid because I'm fucking desperate to do something that doesn't involve reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar to a bolshy toddler.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

...and the baby isn't much help either!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Trufax.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

one of my colleagues overheard two guys at the photocopier
dissing another colleague because apparently she now has "baby brain". she thought about smashing their heads onto the copier but decided that it would just slow up her own productivity.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Bloody typical.
I got a £500 for soliciting - you get a fucking promotion.

Political correctness gone mad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

£500 for a pretty boy like you, is not a bad night's work

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

That's why he's started dyeing his hair - he's been able to put his prices up as a result.
For another £25 he'll put it in bunches for you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

I sure will.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:10, Reply)

how about we just eat pizza instead?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:12, Reply)

For £500, I'd eat the shit out of a dead camel's arse.
For £510, I'd enjoy it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

that makes me feel very very special

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Rightly so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

where did he say that was for one night?
could have been it for the last decade
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:10, Reply)

It's cumulative.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:10, Reply)

cum - ulative more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:11, Reply)

*slow, mocking applause*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Yeah,
my department want to advertise the fact that they have a woman working for them. I am torn between being a role model and being a token. Also, it means I'll have competition for the unlimited autistic geeks.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

how ridiculous is that?!
hmmm. i think you can accept the competition though. autistic internet gaming geeks = shit in bed.

i've only made the mistake of testing this theory once, but it is sooooo true. NO EXCEPTIONS.

oh yeah, and you're married, should that have been my first thought?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Do they not have extremely dextrous thumbs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:12, Reply)

no, they tend to be locked in a useless clawlike posture

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Aye, but I'm married to a computer geek.
He's not autistic though. He can look at someone else's shoes when they're talking to him.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

my ex told me that was the difference between an actuary and an accountant
actuary in "lack of originality" shocker
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:21, Reply)

If he thinks shoes are talking to him, autism is the least of his worries.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Aww well done you!
Who's a clever girl, eh?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, Reply)

humph
i would say "fuck you" but being married with 2 kids, you might not have known what i meant since about 1996...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Hey, I had sex last year

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

oh ok then
as we were
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:21, Reply)