Tangledupinblue's tried and tested hangover recovery system
To answer the main question and, as so many here seem to be suffering with a hangover, I offer you this:
1. try to drink a pint of water before going to bed. If you can manage to eat something too, I think this helps. If nothing else that extra time it gives you to sober up before falling asleep will take the edge off a little. Ensure you take another pint of water to have by the bed for the morning.
2. The more sleep you can achieve the less your hangover will be. The human body repairs itself while sleeping. (Since having kids I now see how important this one is)
3. Avoid caffeinated drinks. I know that a strong coffee makes you feel good temporarily, but tea and coffee are diuretics and you will dehydrate further.
4. Eat a massive breakfast. I don't care if you think you can't stomach it. Stop being a baby. This breakfast should be high in protein and fat (a fry up, of course).
5. Smoke a joint. Best. Hangover. Cure. Ever. (although don't make the mistake of thinking it is a good idea to have one before bed, Ape. You know this only makes matters worse)
6. Keep drinking water and MTFU.
EDIT (as pointed out by Nakers): 6a. Have a wank (or better still persuade someone else to take on the role of nurse and do it for you). This will release endorphins in the brain. It also feels nice.
7. You are now ready to start drinking again. Play nicely.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:47, 6 replies, latest was 8 years ago)

I would dispute point 3
regardless of how much of a diuretic something is the net gain outstrips any dehydration
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

It is my belief that any gain is temporary
and that when it wears off you will feel much worse.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:54, Reply)

If I was a pedantic arse
I would suggest that drinking any fluid you will only experiance a temporary gain (otherwise you would never dehydrate at all)

But that would be me being somewhat of a prick
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Lucky you are not a prick then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Phew

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Whilst that's true, because point 2 is genuine, avoiding caffeine is still sound thinking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

The 7 step plan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:54, Reply)

needs more lucozade and wanking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Oh how could I forget the all important wank?
Lucozade is for children and Daley Thompson though.

Edit: Original post edited to include this important step.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Daley Thompson is the only sportsmanI have ever been genuinely impressed by.
Apart from Brian Jacks, obv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Amd Geoff Capes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

I beat Brian Jacks at Judo.
Absolutely God's honest truth. I grabbed his lapels, swiped his leg, threw him to the floor and held him down for a count of three.

Proudest moment of my entire life. And I have been waiting for a chance to boast about it for so long!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

_{I was 7 and he was a friend of my judo instructer. He let me win, obviously}
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

scarpe
That wasn't Brian Jacks. It was a tramp at a bus stop
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

You and your drunken rampages

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Course you did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:07, Reply)

I reluctantly added the truth too, you know.
Spoilsport.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Where IS Battered this morning?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

He needed money to catch the bus to work this morning
but he was a little short.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Does anyone know what his 'serious crime' was and wants to post it on a public messageboard
I'm going for fraud

or noncing
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:12, Reply)

I'd guess at fraud too.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:14, Reply)

He does lie for a living, and has problems obtaining credit/ mortgages
cor this could be Sunhill station
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Most things do.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Also get up and get out and about in the fresh air
rotting in bed is the worst idea
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:57, Reply)

this is general advice to all housewhales

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

It is customary to smoke outside nowadays.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I could never smoke on a hangover

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

If I was forced to only pick one from this list
It would be a close call between enough sleep and smoking a joint. The joint would probably win.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

i am an adult so i drink responsibly
thats a pretty good hangover cure
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

for limited definitions of the word 'cure'

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

your the ex alkey aren't you?
wouldn't you agree that responsible drinking was a good cure?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I just think you are misunderstanding of the word 'cure'.
Well, and a few other things, based on this most recent post, but originally just 'cure'.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:13, Reply)

To preserve by salting, drying, or smoking.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Well you seem to have the third one covered anyway.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Sadly not allowed anymore

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

best cure is prevention innit

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

The word you are scrabbling for is 'dullard'. And I fear you are beyond any cure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

I was going to go for
Self righteous arse, but dullard will do
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:10, Reply)

'Tedious Walter Mitty liar' also works.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:11, Reply)

an adult so i drink responsibly not allowed alcohol after last time, when I flashed those kids.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:11, Reply)

lashed them kids ucked my 15 year old sister.

Avoiding prison really was 'Tricky'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:12, Reply)

having a dump has to be pencilled in somewhere
/ac
( $$ ✅, Thu 22 Sep 2016, 8:57, Reply)