Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So as poimnted out in the previous thread women get periods, but they can wear skimpy clothes when it's hot in the officethis probably balancves things out. What other inequalities between the sexes annoy you?
alt: There is no one of consequence in the office today, so i might fuck off at lunchtime, where would you fuck off to?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:38,
226 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
It was Mammary Monday yesterday(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:43,
Reply)
If a woman buys a rampant rabbit and rams it up her cunt she's empoweredbut if men buy a fleshlight they are perverts.
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Peej, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:41,
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a little story that i once witnessed. which i will tell, as it's so quiet on here today.when i was a student, i lived over in the delights of scumley-by-bow, in east london. there were no cash points and precious few shops, not even a bus route, because even the alsatians and muggers walked around there in pairs. so pretty much the only shop we had on the doorstep was a chippie.
i was heading home one night when i saw a scene in the glass window that made me freeze in my tracks and forever note the difference between Man and Woman. it was a behemoth of a guy, probably at the thick end of 20 stone, with the biggest battered whale and an entire irish potato famine of chips in front of him. he had lifted his t-shirt up to his chin and was whacking his giant wobbly white hairy gut to make it flobble for the amusement of all his mates.
and i thought, no woman would ever ever ever do that. and if she did, her mates would not be cheering her on.
not that this is an inequality that annoys me, so really not a good answer. oh well. at least you got A response.
i would fuck off somewhere with a roof terrace, like coq d'argent, and get cunted on pimms.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:43,
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good pimms needs ginger beer and gin to make it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:44,
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Fireball and ginger beer with ice and a slice of lime is lovely.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:49,
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What is a fireball?Apart from the ball of fire
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:51,
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yeshow much did you donate to get that lovely icon?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:46,
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4 hundred million pounds, i'll count your post as 0.0000000001% of that please(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)
that is because you have the finesse and perceptions of a snorting walrus(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:53,
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oh dearand you were doing so well. somehow i am sensing your heart isn't really in it today.
is dawn still messing you around?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:09,
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coolok i have it in my diary to ask you out in around 2019, so you keep that bonfire burning, baby.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:13,
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but how will i get hold of you?i know, just post your mobile number on here...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:16,
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its 07... hey wait a minute, STOP ASKING ME OUT YOU TERRIBLE WHORE(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Slowly insulting and mocking someone so you can sleep with them, aka 'The SexFace'(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:15,
Reply)
whatever happened to him?did he finally delete his account and kill himself?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:16,
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Actually i disagree with thisthe centres of certain towns on weekend nights, you could easily see some fat trollop wobling her belly for the amusement of a group of her cracking sistaz
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:49,
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There is no such inequality here - I can come to the office in shorts and sandals, if I choose.And I'm all for women in skimpy clothes.
Alt: The pub, obviously.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:44,
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When they claim to be as strong as men, but can't take a punch.Alt: There's a pub with a great beer garden just down the road, I'd go there.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:46,
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If a woman I've never seen befoer runs up to me and grabs me, and kisses me and tells me I'm gorgeous, I'd be flattered. When I do it, the police arrive.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:54,
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If a man you've never met before suddenly gives you flowersHe's just been watching adverts from the 1980s.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:01,
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There's so many gays and menopausal women in managment if I wore skimpy clothes to the office I'd probably get a promotion(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)
*gang signs*I'm going to make some home brew this weekend quintz, are you excited for me?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:02, Reply)
No shit,I'm actually going to aerate the wort and other words to a batch of booze. Then I'm going to bottle it, which to be honest seems like a massive pain in the arse.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)
ah rightonce i've changed my trousers i'll come back here and celebrate in an appropriate manner
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:07, Reply)
no one wants to see your pasty boy boobs(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:02,
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I was shopping with my partner recently, and overheard a woman asking to see the wimmins' bras.FFs, as opposed to the mens' bras? Dozy fucker.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)
"partner"are you some sort of perishing left footer?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:08,
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Left footer as in Catholic?Or shirtlifter? No, I'm neither. I thought it soundsd more pc than bird.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:10, Reply)
There's a lot of fat kids about now.So much so that you have to have bras for young girls too.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:08,
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That's for two reasons thoughI mean, what fun is a striptease if she's not already wearing a bra?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:16,
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I've never been to a striptease before.I went to a live sex show in Holland, and can honestly say it was totally unerotic. Some smacked up old whore being porked by a very unhealthy looking man. Fucking awful.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
They CAN wear skimpy clothesNot all of them SHOULD, however. But if you point this out, it's sexist. Tsk.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I think it's probably more of a pot/kettle issue(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:10,
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Granted, I am sitting in a greenhouse surrounded by rocks shouting "throw me"but that's exactly why I never wear anything... snug
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:12, Reply)
this is also true for menin fact, some men should never be allowed to shop for themselves. eg green/brown suits? w. t. f.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:11,
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shoes are very important, girls always notice a guy's shoesas are jackets. eg on the right guy, leather can be sexy as hell. most people cannot pull it off (although pulling it off and burning it is exactly what they should do).
and aftershave. done right, sexiest thing EVER. done wrong? you'll smell like a public toilet. in greece.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:15,
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shoes should never, EVER have square toes(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:18,
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as long as they are a similar darknessto the suit the Brown Shoes with Blue suits is pefectly good form. Dear lord are you the sort of chap that does up all the buttons of a suit jacket too
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I'll have you know I am confortably the best-dressed man in my officeThe competition is... not fierce.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
"My" sort?Please, explain. Using only words never before seen on /OT. Good luck.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
oh soz i just read the bit about not using words previously used here before(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)
whenever i try to text my friend jimbopredictive text changes it to jumbo or himbo. funnily enough he prefers the former.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:36,
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Seem like this post fell out of gay heaven, into a gay tree, hit every gay branch on the way down, and landed on a gay guyThen fucked him up the shitter.
Twice.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:39,
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Did it leave a trail of rainbows as it fell?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:49,
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confirmed bachelors.Chaps with a naval bent.
Light footed fellows.
Cliff Richard.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:37,
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a man with a brown hat(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:52,
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You should be making notesfor when suits reach your part of the world
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
or when he is old enough to need to wear one(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:18,
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What is wrong with a brown suit?I have a brown pin-stripe suit that looks excellent.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:29,
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My granddad wore a brown pin-stripe suit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:34,
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He was tooShit suit though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:43,
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If I could, I'd fuck off up to Sydney, purely because I've never been there.(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Sydney people say that too. But Melbourne people say the opposite. As I don't consider myself to be a Melbournian, I think I'll be impartial and judge myself.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Melbourne has a much better public transport systemBut Sydney has a massive bridge and an opera house and a nicer botanical garden and better beaches. But, the big flaming towers outside the casino in Melbourne are pretty cool when they go off. But New Years on the Harbour is going to be better than anywhere in Melbourne.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I'm looking for a B&B to have a nice weekend away inone just popped up in Shitterton
lol
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:21,
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They get very upset if you criticise pole dancingas it isn't just a hobby, it's part of who they are.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Is it true that all men imagine their willy is the pole and they have a tiny 4" women who is able to pole-dance on it?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:36,
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Coming over here stealing our jobs and breaking our women's ribs!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:28,
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There is probably a biblical joke in here somewhere.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:35,
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fell out of the top bunk at the "hostel" they were staying at(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:25,
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That's what your wife said.Only instead of the lol, she just had a look of weary resignation.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)
You should go to this place. www.thesmithybedandbreakfast.co.uk/index.asp
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:37,
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Looks nice, I ssall bookmark for another time asI've just booked here:www.mundenhouse.co.uk/
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:45,
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That's too near my GFs home, Sherbourne is only day trip distance.Looks jolly nice though.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:50,
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That must be twice the price of the local travelodge and you still won't get sexyou londoners wif all your tasteless money
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:51,
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I'd fuck off to Morocco, I thinkI'd quite desperately like to go there this year but I suspect tennis boy will refuse to go and kick off big style if I go on my own.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:32, Reply)
You're going to let a ginger dictate where you can and can't go on your holidays?(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:32, Reply)
He doesn't do the backpacking thingand I don't think he'd go on holiday to a country 'full of brown people' anyway. Plus he probably couldn't afford it.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
he needs his head spanging with his own racketbut as you say, you can't think for him
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:54,
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That comes after marriage(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:58,
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He is a terrible racistbut he doesn't spout it in front of me because I get very, very angry and shout at him. He is entitled to his opinion, even if it's wrong.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
I couldn't go out with someone with views like thateven if they didn't state them explicitly in front of me, the fact that I would know that they were an ignorant bigot would always be there.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I would consider it a bit more than an issue.And while I can see there being a valid argument that "anyone is entitled to their own opinion" I think that is far shakier when that opinion is that certain people are worth less as human beings than other people simply because of the pigment level in their skin.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)
yeah but there are other factors too, raciallycranium size, bone density, athleticism
i think whites come off worse in most of those :(
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Cranium size doesn't have anything to do with intelligencejust look at downsey children.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
But I'm betting he doesn't base his opinion on someones worth on the size of their cranium.(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
But that's because you're not thinking about it too muchyou're too busy photoshopping Swipes face onto photos of porn.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
a special trouser-sick?It's a sign you're becoming a man.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:19,
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Based on what you post about him on here, it's not the only one.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:54,
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No he isn't, not when it's both demostrably wrong by any moral logical social biological or psychological argumentGood to see you pull him up on it, but I wouldn't put up with that shit.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Can I suggest that one nightyou wrap yourself in a white bedsheet and put the pillowcase over your head, then stand at the end of the bed with a flaming crucifix, "just to see how he likes it"?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I do.Well, I did. Haven't done any for a while but am happy to answer questions!
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
While I apprechate everyone helping my efforts to split them up in order to help my personal agenda...... I think she's a big girl who can come to her own conclusions, and that I'm sure he has many good personal qualities that over-shadow this flaw. Such as having a double-jointed tounge or something like that.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:11,
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I don't think there's many qualities that counter racism.Because racism generally shows that they're stupid.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
How about a double-jointed tounge that can pull a parked truck 5 inches further down the road.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:23,
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Morocco is fantastic.I went to Fez recently, best country on earth.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Did you take ages to decide to go?Or was it just like that?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:43,
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I quite like panama, I'm not sure if it's as good as one of the CAPitals though.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:58,
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Just goIf he wants to be a massive bell-end about it, all the more reason to
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:33,
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Well, do him a favour and go with me !It's OK, I don't mind him owing me one.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:38,
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I was looking at prices a few weeks backvery cheap at the moment.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
I'd love to do morroco, tunisia, lybia, egypt.but it's not safe enough yet.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I am confusedI've just come back from the shop where I saw a pack of - I kid you not - 'Cooking Bacon'.
As opposed to what? Is there such a thing as 'decorating bacon'? Does somewhere else sell 'Computing bacon'? FFS it's bacon offcuts so call it bacon offcuts!
I am rapidly becoming a curmudgeonly old twat. (Cue strikethroughs)
As you were, carry on.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:34, Reply)
well i think they do an alright job considering they have to serve hot food at 35,000 feet(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)
i have no ideaheston cooks for me when i use the jet
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:44,
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:47,
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Hello false Monty.You let slip yesterday that you suffered from hayfever. After searching for references to this, I have a number of possible solutions to whose sock you are.
Is this a worthwhile avenue to hunt you down on?
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:58,
Reply)
This is useful knowledge.With it the blind again see, the lame walk, the ill recover, the insane become sane and the sane become saner. By its use the thousand abilities Man has sought to recover become his once more.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:05,
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Very good.I like a challenge, and I'm sure I can cross Wormulus off the list.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:13,
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Where is wethamman when you need an answer quickly?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:39,
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I call him "Posting Bacon"(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:42,
Reply)
ALT: i'd pretend to be a LADY and go to one of these if you fancy a treatwww.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/uk/london/9124793/Londons-ten-best-afternoon-teas.html
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:49,
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I like afternoon tea.Especially if you get a little cake stand.
What is your opinion on the music of Frank Zappa?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Are these two things related?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:59,
Reply)
Said the magistrate to Bert and his sister.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:00,
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Is this a test?I'm quite partial to a little bit of 'Freak Out!' on the weekends... and the original Mothers of Invention were the best.
what's your thoughts on spreads - do you prefer savoury or sweet?
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:02,
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where does Ashton Kutcher stay when he has an over nighter at the Hilton?He stays at the Dude, Suite!
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Why didn't Demi Moore shop at the fish market?Because Ashton was always bringing home crabs.
parp
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:11,
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Freak Out is a great albumIn fact, I think you can't really go wrong with any of the first three Mothers albums.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:04,
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i concur...How about his solo stuff?
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:08,
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There is a lot of less interesting stuff to trawl through to find the gemsHot Rats is an undisputed classic, although not to everyone's taste as it falls loosely into the jazz-rock area.
There's some good stuff in some of his late-70s output, Sheik Yerbouti, Apostrophe.
And I love one of his final albums, The Yellow Shark.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:17,
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I shall itunes yellow shark this evening.(
lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:18,
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I like both smooth and crunchy peanut butter, crunchy when having it alone on crumpetsbut smooth if you're combining it with jam in a sandwich or on toast.
Chutneys are a good accompaniment to most sandwiches.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)
i agree with the peanut butter, and chutney comments... but where do you stand on primula?
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:07,
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Never had it, but the concept is shitwhy not just buy nice cheese.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
soft cheeses like camenbert and the like are soft enough enough to spread(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:08,
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and things were going so well...The shrimp one is the nutz... shrimp cheese would be better though
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:09,
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what's Ashton Kutcher's favourite chocolates?He likes Dude Sweets!
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
what did Ashton say after he sucked a sugary horse cock?(
lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:20,
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Chutneys are an affront to Godand will burn in Hell.
EDIT: for those too thick to get the joke, I was talking about homosexualists.
You massive chutneys.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:12,
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She may have cracking norks but no chutney?Even Darth likes a good chutney
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:15,
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I hear they prefer to be called chutney ferrets(
lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:23,
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Stamps are going up to 60p, fuck thatI'm never sendinga christmas card again
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:09,
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Buy a shitload of stamps now.As long as they say '1st', you'll still be able to use them when the price goes up.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:11,
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or buy some primula... its mroe expensive but taste's nicer(
lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:12,
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It is first class for sure(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:13,
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FRANK(ly) i have to agree(
lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:14,
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Or I could buy them now for 46p and sell them on in the future at a profit(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:12,
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Some quick calculations show that and investment of £4,600would reap a profit of £1400 overnight! now where can i buy 10k stamps
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:16,
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Or people to buy said 10k stamps(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:19,
Reply)
Actually, aren't stamps legal tender? I'm sure they are, or something like that.Could you buy a load now and get a refund later on?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:16,
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They're going up 14p.I think you have the legal right to change your mind inside 7 days for any purchase, not sure if you need a recept
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:30,
Reply)
Nota evena ona youra Dolmio Daya?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:13,
Reply)
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