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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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one thread by lunchtime. it's a new low for OT
what other striking lows have there been?

what about the high points?

alt: is anyone who describes themselves as "an intellectual" automatically a total wanker who is not intellectual enough to understand this? are YOU an intellectual?

alt alt: it's nearly 12. what are you shovelling down your fat throat today?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Alt alt: Looks like tonight's Needoo fest is OFF. Oi'm roight gutted Oi arm.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
i only just got your text from sat, darling
sorry about that. stupid iphone doesn't tell you when your message inbox is full. i just deleted some and it gushed about 100 texts out :(
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
shit phone is shit shocker, somebody get Rupert Murdoch on the phone

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
why bother?
he's already hacked it
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
internet lies, right here

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
What it was, was, right, that the GIGANTIC FILE SIZE of my cock-gaz
was SO HUGE that it crashed the entire network.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
you should have optimised it

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Idiotic to be sending bitmaps around nowadays

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
phones usually resize MMS pictures anyway
Monty is lying on the internet, i'm putting him on ignore for that
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
That's alright. Nae bother, paaal.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
altalt: super spicy noodles

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I'd have thought that you were too much of a snob to eat Batchelors Super Noodles

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
I'm waiting to find out if he's got oak flooring in the new place

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
is that an actual flavour of super noodle?
these are from my local Thai takeaway.

you are however correct in your assertions
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I don't know
I was always more of a pot noodle fan.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
OWROIGHT OZZAY?
Way to dispel those regional stereotypes, Tangers.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I refuse to acknowledge that I am in the West Midlands
This will always be Warwickshire as far as I am concerned.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
I liked this pot noodle advert (best with sound)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W3O2Meo2Mk
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I prefered this one:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs0WCUZqoJg
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
haha

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
there is a mexican chilli one
but they all require extra curry powder/brown sauce/herbs, etc to make them nicer
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Alt: I don't understand the question.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
so make it up

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
alt
I am definitely an intellechul, i got books and everythink.

altalt: i'm out of supernoodles. Not sure what to do
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Share Ape's

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
GERRRRROFF YA PIKEY

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
i'm no noodle-snatcher!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
You are more of a ham toucher

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
certainly
a pork fondler
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
A complete beef stroker

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
meat pummeller

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Veal licker

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Steak masticator

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
cutlet caresser

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
chop tickler

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
I am not an intellectual, I'm just cleverer than some and more interested in learning stuff than most.
I had a packet of kettle crisps just now. I do enjoy those. Looks like I'm going to be cooking tonight as opposed to, oh I don't know, paying somebody else to cook for me.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Just get something from the replicator

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
I fucking wish.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
i am definitely an interlectual

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I concur
How's tricks quint?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
ITS ALL GRAVY

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Me too!
*happydans*
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG weekends coming up everybody
Party TIME
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Indeed.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Alt: the term smacks of first-rate cuntery if you ask me.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
is that why you have it on your business cards?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)

business cards packet of fags you wrote on
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)

fags rizlas*

*he can't afford cigarettes.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Yeah, but I can't afford cigarettes, either.
7 fucking pounds a packet. I don't even smoke and I'm outraged.

4 quid a pint and 1.40 a litre of fuel. What the FUCK is going on?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
it's teh CONDEM coalition I tell you

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
£4 a pint?!
not round here, i don't think
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
It's getting up that way in London, yeah

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
having said that it was about£5 a cocktail the other night
but beer should be cheap.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
It is fucking ridiculous. A combination of a massive increase in indirect taxation and inflation.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
I appreciate there's an economic crisis going on, and everything
but it seems that certain areas are being targetted with unfair heavy-handedness.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Alt: Yep, I described myself as such when I was about 15. I was a wanker.
I still am but hide it better.

AltAlt: home-made curry leftovers. I fully expect it to be nommier than it was last night, but lunch is a ways off yet *sadface*
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
was your name adrian mole?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Nope, but i did enjoy the books back then, as I said, a wanker.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
I am a massive intellectual.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Oh? I heard you were quite short.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I am between Gonz and CQ in terms of height.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
And shorter than me.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
by the narrowest of margins.
But I haven't measured my height in a long time.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
Given the whole 'Battered height' meme I am taking every opportunity I can to demonstrate there are shorter people around here than me.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
You should exercise some meme restraint.
And just say no.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
How long?
Surely you stopped growing years ago?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
depends if he is watching fiona bruce on the telly i expect

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
fuck knows.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Much closer to the Gonz end of things.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
when did we start using b3tans as measurements?
I am approx 3 spangolins in height and half a rachelswipe in weight
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
you'd be dead
are you posting from beyond the grave?

what a fucking thought
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
what are you talking about?
Half a rachelswipe is equivalent to four manoliths, a Bobby and an Agnostic Antichrist, isn't it?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
that would also make you pretty fat!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
they're all much shorter than me
i'm approximately 2.5 times their combined height
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
Does that make you about 15' tall?
And maybe 5 stone in weight?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I'm that bloke off avatar's big brother

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
If I were as tall as you
I'd be the right weight for my height. I just need to stretch
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
We came to the conclusion last night that a meter stick should be elasticated depending on how someone carries their height and stature.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Oh indeed.
The Gonz Effect. Personality makes up for a mere physical lack of inches.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
If I lay down on my back, I can get a good few inches.
It's the the horizontal equivolent of going on tip-toes.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)
How much taller than you would you say I was?
A couple of inches, maybe?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
I reckon you have at least 4 inches on him.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
So that'd make him about 5'10?
I don't care overly, I just heard that he was suprisingly short.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
5'8" and a half.
The Half is important, in fact he's started rounding it up. So, sound like you have a good 6" to play with.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
lucky him

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Nah, that's average, that.
I wouldn't brag about average.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
I have a tiny willy.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Don't worry, it'll look about right, in proportion.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
no, it's tiny, even proportionately.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Poor Dozer.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:48, Reply)
it's like a pickled acorn.
;(
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Have you tried chatting up squirrels?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:53, Reply)
as I said, I am approximating.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)

am approximating have measured myself since last night, found out I am actually only 5'7" and so will continue to claim not to know for sure.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:41, Reply)

7 5
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
strikethrough on end strikethrough in
Hilarity ensues
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I have a corniation chicken sandwich and a packet of crisps.
But then on the way into work I went past a different japanese shop and I saw they had one of my favorites, tempora seaweed snack things, so I got one of those too.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I need to find a place to get japanese rice snacks, they're my favourite.
Gonz, do you know a place to get japanese rice snacks?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Alt. not if they are an intellect tual no, if they are a delusional oik, yes.
Alt alt, still In bed. Tired. Nothing yet bar Ribena
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
^ Lazy git reinforcing the perceptions of students right here^

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
I read that at first as
'In bed with Rihanna'.

If only.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I are one of them things

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
panda sex!
www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/9182458/Giant-pandas-at-Edinburgh-zoo-have-just-two-days-to-get-pregnant.html

even pandas are getting more than me
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
No wonder the fuckers are dying out.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
LARPers?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
The mating habits of LARPers have yet to be observed.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
i wish that were true :(

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
A question has arisen today that you might be able to help me with.
Why do digital cameras have ISO settings? They don't use film...
*scratches head*
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
But
the sensitivity of the CCD can be altered. Something to do with boosting signals, hence 'noise' at higher ISOs, the equivilent of the hiss getting louder when you turn up a badly tuned radio. That's why it's more noticable in bottom end cameras - my D300 is pretty damn good up to about 1600, but my compact camera looks ropey at 400
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)
That's sort of what we thought.
Especially with the cheaper cameras, the 'auto' function will increase the ISO rather than the flash duration when there isn't much light. It makes for some very noisy images.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
yeah
switch off auto ISO, it's mostly annoying. That or make it a feature
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Ta.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
quite the opposite
larping is where (some) nerds get sex (admittedly not me). I know a few that have bred. Scary stuff
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
pandas need more
swingers clubs
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
You'd think so, but then there's always another generation of fat emo larpers round the corner, where the hell do they come from?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
My lunch today
Includes a packet of roast beef Monster Munch.

More news as it happens.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
pickled onion are better

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
If you have to tell people you're an intellectual
then you're not an intellectual. It's like those people who have to tell you they're 'wacky'.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
or people that describe themselves as good looking.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Exactly.
They are obviously physically repulsive and fooling nobody.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Precisely.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Last night I cooked up
Beef, Chorizo, Red Onion, Tomatoes, Bacon and Cream. Then stirred it in to pasta and linguine. Then topped it with Mozzarella the stuck it in the oven. Then left it to go cold. That is my Lunch.

I thank you for your time
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
i thought linguine was pasta?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Yes
I was not very clear. I used two types. One short and stubby the other long and stringy.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
DING DING DING, we have a winner.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Had my exit interview today
All very civilised. Probably going to view a flat in E1 tomorrow afternoon, the agent is trying to get me to look at some horribly expensive places too but I don't think so.

All the nice places in my price range are either gone or not available until mid-May :(

Alt: I'm not stepping into your devilish snare, lawyerly woman!

Alt alt: ham salad cob adulterated with hot chilli pickle from The Pickle Man.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Why don't you rent Gonz's spare room?
You could steal his fags and he'd cook for you.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
He never offered :(
I don't think I'd care for living with another person, though, I'm pretty misanthropic most of the time.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
I'm afraid I don't have a spare room, but even if I did, the days of living with someone I'm not fucking are waaay over.
EC1 is barbican/farringdon, where I work. I fucking love it here, but I wouldn't want to live here, if I could afford the flat, then it'll be on ones of the rough local athority places.... and if I couldn't afford the room (eg, it would be fucking lush), it would cost too much to live.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Seriously, we're talking like just shy of £7 for Pall Malls in Tescos here, with the increase.
And there are no big supermarkets anyway.

It really is worth moving out a bit and traveling, I call it London Tax 'cus everything, fags/drinks/whatever is 20% more expensive the more central you go.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Alt alt: I'm so bored I've just picked up twenty quids worth of draw
And ann about to shovel it down me for lunch.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
that is such a waste.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Not literally shovel.
Smoke obviously.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Phew!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Tenner says I give almost all of it to my brother.
I don't even like it, I have no idea why I picked up.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
If only you'd thought of doing that on Saturday night...

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Ha.
I'd forgotten about that til now :(
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Sorry.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
What happened on saturday?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
KAPLOWIE !

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Is that lottery tickets or drugs?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
i thought it might
be a house furnishing thing
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)
You know whats weird, right.
All my mates who was into that, dropped it the moment they wanted to do things with their life, which unfortunatly for most of them, was like 2 years after they dropped out of uni, mostly 'cus of doing so much.

I'm not sure if it's relivent that they now are mental on the coke.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I'm hungry and uninspired.
The high point is that I've made progress on my college application. Only the actual statement to goooo. Plus living sitch next year is almost sorted. The future's a bit scary.

Alt: Pretentious as fuck. They might meet the criteria for intellectualism but I dislike people who are all superior about it.

Alt alt: Nommy sammich. Not particularly nommy. And a kitkat.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Why are you downgrading from uni to collage?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
High point was a ham, pork and jalapeno butty.
This was dinner, so I suppose I've multitasked the question.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)

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