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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I just viewed the same flat twice
Different letting agents. I made some keen and insightful comments the second time, I can tell you.

Now I am in a pub and have discovered they have no bacon for my bacon and cheese burger. London sucks.

What are you all up to?

Alt: who are worse people than estate agents?
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 17:57, Reply)
I've just had a job rejection and then an offer in the space of two hours.
I am very happy.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:01, Reply)
I'd like to take full credit as your rock during these difficult times at chateau DG

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:03, Reply)
It was your "Schindler" moment

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:03, Reply)
Making him stop turning up dressed as Adam Ant or Gary Numan was a fucking ballache

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:06, Reply)
*does the no pants dance*
well done, wass it for then?
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:03, Reply)
Project assistant.
Temporary initially, could be longer term.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:08, Reply)
Is it a good job or a "pay the bills" grind?
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:03, Reply)
It sounds like a nice job.
Less than I was on, but it's not about the money, it's about job satisfaction first.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:18, Reply)
good good

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:26, Reply)
Top work.
I hope it's a decent job. Not wanking turkeys or sutin.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:06, Reply)

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:08, Reply)
Fantastic news mate.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:09, Reply)
But you might want to quit your job, I've just invented Garlic and Blue Cheese Doughballs, you might wanna come into buisness with me. Basiclly, you buy the butter, garlic, crunch sea salt, blue cheese, doughballs. And I'll combine them and eat them. WE'LL HAVE HEART ATTACKS BY THE NEXT FISCAL YEAR.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:32, Reply)
Level up!

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:38, Reply)

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:02, Reply)
This is excellent news.
Perhaps there is hope for me too. I've already had two rejections this week, the offer should be along any minute...
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:07, Reply)
Fingers crossed b3th.
Like I say this is only temporary initially, with a possible extension to September then maybe permanent, so I'm not breaking out the champagne yet and will still be applying for other stuff.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:09, Reply)
Jeff is increasingly convincing me to go ahead with my 'if only' dream
which means I might settle for 'a' job rather than 'the' job. It's getting to the point where I'm going to have to lower my standards. Unfortunately the employers don't feel the same way.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:11, Reply)
Delighted to hear this.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 21:07, Reply)
people who have no memory of paces that they've been

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:01, Reply)
I didn't know it was the same flat when I arranged it
Just the same building.

One of the agents was heading to the Chelsea game after, I'll go for the other one if I take it.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:05, Reply)
An estate agent football fan
a chelsea football fan, he must have a cunt event horizon around him
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:07, Reply)
an ubercunt.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:09, Reply)
He was an Arsenal fan, he was going with friends. Not even a loyal cunt.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:11, Reply)
Boyce is a monumental cunt

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:15, Reply)
Oh man, you could have just done an epic prank.
"I..... .I've been here before... I'm sure of it.... I dreamt about this place." and then pointed things out before you got into the room.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:33, Reply)
Anyone else who earns an inordinately large sum for a clerical job that only serves to bleed folk dry.
Recruitment agents are the worst in my experience.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:53, Reply)
they are worse
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:02, Reply)
Blue cheese, roasted garlic in vinegar*, butter, sea salt... mash with fork... apply to steaming hot doughballs.
Seriously, please let me cook for you, just once. I guarntee you'll want to sleep with me after.

* Dont' knock it, "Easy on the Garlic" from Watirose is my #1 cheat ingredient.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:04, Reply)
I don't think I'd want to sleep with anyone who shovelled garlic and cheese down their throat.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:09, Reply)
that's why they invited doggie
yes please gonz, let's get a date in the diary! have had a few gazzes this afternoon about meeting up, so will sort something after easter??
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:13, Reply)
Totally, in fact, I could have a swarray around mine, still haven't had a house-warming yet.
Would you be up for cheese, nibbles and cocktails? I know it's a bit of a chore getting to my place from yours, but once you're at Mooregate or Old Street, it's actually only 30 minutes away.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:18, Reply)
if it's a weekend night no problems at all

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:22, Reply)
A saturday would suite me down the ground, it'll give me all day to tart everything up.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:25, Reply)
let's invite the cool kids then
next couple of weeks are busy, then it's the bristol bash, but any weekend after that we can get in the diary!
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:33, Reply)
my mum says i'm cool, can I come?

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:37, Reply)
boyce says you're a monumentally bent spastic
best check with him
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:38, Reply)
he's lying
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:39, Reply)
Nah, fucker works in advertising.
You bloodsuckers should get on like a house on fire.

No offence like.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:45, Reply)
I work in marketing ACTUALLY

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:46, Reply)
This is somehow better?
It's still selling people crap they don't need, preferably at prices they can't afford. At least swipe provides a service, all be it a massively overpriced one that shouldn't be necessary in most cases if people were not moronic cunts.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:48, Reply)
Ashully I deliver discounts to peopleo n products that they already buy
people fucking love me
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:50, Reply)
Yes dear, of course you do.
And of course they do.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:51, Reply)
marketing is a broad church
mine involves no advertising, glorification of products/services/lifestyles or pushing of 'aspirational' shit
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:53, Reply)
OK, fine, your job is not more evil than Swipe's
I'll be it's less worthwile though.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:56, Reply)
How are you tonight sweetheart? Hows the shoulder healing up?
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:58, Reply)
It's fine but I got a bollocking form the physio this morning, aparently the fact that I have more or less full mobility and no pain does not mean I am supposed to be using my right arm, so back to the sling for another couple of weeks. fucksake.

How's life in Ape Towers?
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:03, Reply)
wife is skiing, baby is sleeping and I'm moving flats in two days
i'll have two bedrooms, count them TWO and some stairs, I've never had stairs before
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:04, Reply)
Sounds good, I'd like that.
And a Bath, I'd really like a bath.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:09, Reply)
oh shit, I need a bath, mainly for the wife and babba
but every now and then...
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:10, Reply)
DIdn't miss it for the first 2.5 years
But, just lately I want a nice hot bath and a good book.

Babies you can wash in a sink. Admittedly mine took a while to get used to showers after he was too big for this.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:12, Reply)
This is one of the things I find really really weird, that people have stairs inside their living space.
When I grew up, it was the oppersite, but for like the last 10 years, it's been rare that I've been in a living space with stairs.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:25, Reply)
I love adverisment and marketing.
I love the creativity and phsycology behind it.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:03, Reply)
*high fives*
we have some stupidly clever analysts and computer coding type people, I'm more the "face" of the business
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:05, Reply)
You seen Pinterest's new tools?
It's smart stuff.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:23, Reply)
Sweet, offline diary though, I'm not opening my place up to randoms =)

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:42, Reply)
fuck you right in the fuckin ear

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:43, Reply)
I'll fucking b4sh round yours anytime mate
You can show off your oak flooring, and then you can piss off whilst I have sex with your wife and mum. We can all laugh about you as well behind your back
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:50, Reply)
Mum could do with the attention
when are you free?

PS I'm out of milk
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:52, Reply)
I draw the line at them both sitting on my face, that'd be just weird
I can pencil in next tuesday, and do a drive by at the petrol garage for some milk and flowers on the way, I heard your mums reet classy
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:54, Reply)
get her a dozen carnations and she'll have a wide on like hippo yawning

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:55, Reply)
Maybe if you turned up at a bash once or twice, you wouldn't be a random anymore.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:58, Reply)
This came out as bitchy.
It wasn't meant that way.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:03, Reply)
I'm sure your'e really safe, it's just the first time I want to meet you, I don't want it to be a place where you can distroy everything I own.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:04, Reply)
haha, don't you worry gonzalina, I'm just messin
anyway i'm a good guest, I'm very "un-B3tan"
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:07, Reply)
Based on the bashes I've been to, this makes you an utter cunt.
Contrary to what you might expect, pretty much everyone is lovely in person.

Even me.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:08, Reply)
I didn't mean it like that!
I mean I'm of avergae weight, socially un-retarded and used to being outside my own home
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:12, Reply)
Again, in person....
You'd be surprised.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:14, Reply)
but I have seen pictures...
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:14, Reply)
It's always the same sunshine bus experience :(
I can never tell the carers and retards apart
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:17, Reply)
let me help
you're a retard
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:18, Reply)
i ent bin to a b4sh spasmo

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:19, Reply)
You should turn up at one.
I think only Bobby actually wishes you harm and he never turns up either.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:19, Reply)
I'm nearly going to the Bristol b4sh if that helps
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:21, Reply)
Not really.
I meant it as genuine advice BTW, not surprised it doesn't appeal THB.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:24, Reply)
It may depend on the bash.
At Monty's Bash I only remember one person being noticably overweight. Everyone was normal, pretty much. The internet amplifies personalkity disorders. Monty, in person, is one of the nicest people you could hope to meet, not even slightly Nazi, Swipe is likewise Charming, Gonz is, well GOnz, and I'm only slightly annoying.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:18, Reply)
you're only slighty annoying on here ;)

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:19, Reply)
In which case you'd probably find me quite tollerable.
Me on here is like me bored after 5 pints IRL.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:20, Reply)
Haha =)

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:22, Reply)
Well, I may have a small man-crush
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:25, Reply)
Sweet !

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:22, Reply)
It's not breath-reeking type of garlic or blue cheese, because of the proccess it goes through.
I went the a phsycitrist/phsycoligist today (whatever is the one that can prescribe shit and is a real doctor), the Pain Team told me to go to see if they can help with my pain and anxiety issues. I was perfectly happy 'till I walked in the door, then he kept on digging at the bad stuff that has happened in my life and I got a bit upset. I told him that eventually with counciling'n'shit, it does damage, its good to begin with but when you're content with life, it's depressing going over it all every single sodding week. I made him lol when I said I'm perfectly fine with burrying it, hidding it, and procarstinating by not thinking about it and then having my '24 hour clinical depression' every 2 months; that 1 day out of 2 months isn't bad.

I'm gonna give some CBT a shot though, for the anxiety problems.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:16, Reply)
hows the hole in your head?

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:18, Reply)
They're pretty much healed over now, the holes are tiny.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:20, Reply)
The thick of it seasons 1-3 is 97% dowloaded!

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 19:48, Reply)
alt: al

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:03, Reply)
he is also a terrible horse

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:08, Reply)
Had bacons yesterday
With mac n cheese
Right now I'm making a fuck ton of cupcakes
Alt doctors
I think I'm going to go to the er later for my back
(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:17, Reply)

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:20, Reply)
I'll eroni all over your face ese

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:23, Reply)
don't you know I'm loco?

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:25, Reply)
*Choo Choo!*

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:37, Reply)
Oh god, I'm tired, I was trying to work out what a backeroni is.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 20:28, Reply)

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