I've woken up to find the theme tune
From 'Postman Pat' going round my head.

I hope you day has started better than mine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 9:47, 80 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've woken up with Carolina Drama by The Raconteurs going round in my head.
I was learning to play it last night.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I'm watching The Crystal Maze.
That'll teach Postman Pat a lesson.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)

If I were Ed I'd have found it hard not to kick that noisy whiny short dumpy scouse girl in the cunt.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)

He should have stabbed her
With the swords of a thousand men.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)

I''ve had to sing that on a 25-minute loop to get the kids to settle one night.
I could have murdered that three-fingered cunt.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 7 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Sounds painful

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Nah, three fingers is just right.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Pfft!

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)

I woke up.
At my age, that's got to be considered a bonus.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Good morning Mrs Brick

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Are you comparing me to 'internet hottie' Samantha Brick?
or is this some other clever joke I'm completely missing?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I was calling you Sam, yes.
What ya gonna do about it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)

I shall tell the internet
that you all hate me because I'm beautiful.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)

How are you today?
I'm going to the gym shortly, and out for drinks this evening.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)

I've finished clearing my work space
and now I have a nice clean, tidy desk. Just need to start on my filing cabinet now.
Well, maybe not 'now'. Maybe 'when it doesn't look so scary'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)

Why not go to the bookies
And put some money on Florest.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)

i've been to the gym
later i go to see www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k_cd44iBuU&feature=fvst

Monty would be proud
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)

I woke up.
I wish I didn't. Nothing planned, rubbish day ahead.
EDIT: Although I woke up in a good mood, I was woken up by me laughing my tits off at a dream I was having.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Why not go out for a fry up
And then go for a nice walk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)

I'm not touching fatty foods until I've lost about a stone.
I've hit crisis point weight wise. Might go for a long walk though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)

I imagined you to be short and slim.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)

I'm 5 foot ten, I think that's average.
And eleven and a half stone which is way too much.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)

no it isn't
www.nhs.uk/Livewell/healthy-living/Pages/height-weight-chart.aspx
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)

I'm 6' 1"
And tipping the scales at just under 79kg. I'm guessing that is fairly healthy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:21, Reply)

5' 11" and 13 stone-ish
good to see that's a healthy weight (just). When I looked up on the internet a few years ago it said I needed to be 11st 7 which looked fucking impossible at the time.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)

So I only need to grow 5 inches
to be considered not overweight. Good to know.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Man definitely needs to lose weight/tone up.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I am the Samantha Brick of OT.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)

Is Samantha
A short arse as well?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)

OH LOL

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Afternoon all
I have had two - TWO - sausage and egg sandwiches and am currently watching Sunderland v Tottenham via the naughtynet.

I was going over to Shrewsbury this evening but that's been postponed until tomorrow now so I will have a quiet one I think. Might watch Forest - City for the lols.

I have "kitten in a teapot" to the tune of "Mirror in the bathroom" stuck in my head thanks to a facebook post.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)

It's rubbish when a plan comes together and then falls apart within ten minutes.
Was supposed to go and watch the game on dodgy Sky in Putney. Not happening now because a couple people can't be arsed. Today needs to be over and done with.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:31, Reply)

My "goto" site
www.footballstreaming.info/streams/todays-links/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Not even sure I can be bothered to watch it.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)

We're winning 1-0
Blackburn away support is pathetic.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:12, Reply)

We've just gone 1-0 up, have that.
I've been to the Reebok three times and witnessed three mind numbingly boring 0-0 draws, I also kind of saw us win 3-1 there but I left at half time to go back to the pub cos I was off my tits. I missed all the goals.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:34, Reply)

2 for you now
that man Dempsey's on fire.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:49, Reply)

I'm sure Makepeace will save him

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:55, Reply)

He's alright.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)

3-0 for both of us now!
Surely this has to bode well for Jeff later.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:47, Reply)

We're actually a fucking good team.
When we play properly. Just a shame that happens once every four games.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)

I'm not sure how the Baggies winning 3-0
Means City won't lose to the Darth Bummers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)

O Yea of Little Faith

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 19:16, Reply)

You've seen just how poor we are!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 19:17, Reply)

My four year old nephew woke me at 5.30
by asking 'why is easter?'. I suspect he's even more confused now than he was as I sleepily explained about jesus, bunnies and pagan symbolism.
(berk, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Bless.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Oh me oh my.
The girl has agreed to come out with me tomorrow for the big night out we're having. How long until she drops out? Who knows, stay tuned to find out.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:29, Reply)

My money is on 'a couple of hours before you're due to go out'.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Please let me bask in the 'I'm well happy' phase.
Thing is regardless of how good the night is tomorrow, it will be utter shit if she drops out cos I'll be bummed out init. But for now, happiness.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Sorry Baz.
Glad you're well happy. And well all be here for you when, as she's done countless times in the past, she blows you out at the last minute.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I have roughly twenty four hours of smitten glee.
Before it comes crashing down.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)

Enjoy it while it lasts Baz.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)

OK
I need distracting for about half an hour

what you guys up to? what're your plans for this evening?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Waiting for Stoke - Wolves?
www.sickipedia.org/joke/1264819
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)

uh?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:19, Reply)

I put a joke on sickipeda (my FB status)
some cunt has deleted it because there was a similar but worse version already on the site.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Also Stoke kick off against Wolves at 17:30.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:25, Reply)

real wolves?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)

I would pay to see that

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:33, Reply)

i seen that
kinda works best if you've heard about air tycoon first. Welldone for lols, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)

Ta.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:41, Reply)

Lighty - are you watching this?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:44, Reply)

Yes, you're in yellow aren't you?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:56, Reply)

Apparently.
Although it seems no one has told Jamie McAlister this.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:58, Reply)

you do appear to be under the cosh a bit

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 17:59, Reply)

The only City play making any sort of effort is Cole Skuse.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:00, Reply)

It's making me want to watch stoke wolves
that's how bad it is.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:04, Reply)

I'm thinking of doing something else.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:05, Reply)

When watching us on the tele I always have it on mute and listen to music/watch something else on my laptop.
I got through two episodes of The Sheild "watching" the Fulham game today.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:13, Reply)

I'm so bored, I'm on my second pint of squash watching the game.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:33, Reply)

oooh! They've scored.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:34, Reply)

I was off having a fag
how did that happen?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:38, Reply)

3 wise men came from the east

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:39, Reply)

According to BBC
There's a Championship game on at the moment, and Nottingham Forest goalkeeper Lee Camp has just given away the most blatant penalty you'll ever see. He absolutely hauls down Jon Stead, and Chris Wood converts the spot-kick to put Bristol City ahead. Nightmare for Camp that one.

Chris Wood - West Brom loanee. Say "Thanks Lighty".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:39, Reply)

Thanks Lighty.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:47, Reply)

Should have had a second there
Chris Wood involved again
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 19:11, Reply)

The first time we've strung together 4 passes and the ball ends up in the back of the net.
It was never offside.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 19:13, Reply)

I'm currently helping my brother track down a ketamine dealer in Clapham.
Does this make me a cool older brother or an irresponsible one?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:40, Reply)

Go to www.yell.co.uk
And search for 'vet'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Apr 2012, 18:48, Reply)