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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've added the drinks menu
For the Apple to the calendar.

What time are you getting there?

Alt; What's your excuse?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 7:45, Reply)
I live 240 miles away and don't own a car
Nonetheless I would like to apologise. I must insist that you drink my share for me, assuming that the Apple serves Babycham.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:05, Reply)
Negotiations with my wife are nearing completion and it seems I have agreement to attend.
Stunned has offered me a lift - so that's transport sorted.
I need to arrange a hotel - any recommendations?

BTW - work meeting in Bristol this week has been postponed.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:18, Reply)

oh no!
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:28, Reply)
LEEEAVE IT AHT HE ENT WERF IIIITTT!!!!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:28, Reply)
Shut it chunky.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Bourton-on-the-Water has a model village,
Why not simply break into one of the houses and sleep there for the night?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:28, Reply)
He might get picked on by one of the penguins at Birdland though.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
To him, they're like adversaries of Godzilla.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Are you dyeing your hair again especially for the bash?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Yes, I've had extra grey streaks put in just for you.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
The idea of you doing anything with your hair for my benefit scares me.
*stands with arse against the wall*
*ensures wearing slip on shoes*
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I'm there already, nine pints in.
What's keeping you?

Alt: At the time I wasn't well, and I genuinely believed that I actually was a twelve year old girl when I set up that Bebo profile.


EDIT: cans of San Miguel it is, then.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:23, Reply)
9am lectures are fucking pony that is all. I only just went to bed.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:28, Reply)
Morning sunshine

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:29, Reply)

hi mate, leaving now so have a nice day. Call Al a fucking spastic cuntrag for me if you get the opportunity.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:30, Reply)
Hang on, let me write this down...

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:32, Reply)
When first I read this I honestly thought it was some kind of iPhone app
I've got to go to Manchester tonight, cheer me up
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:28, Reply)
You aren't going to Birmingham. Also, unlike AA, you aren't Welsh.


There you go, son.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:30, Reply)
I am actually half-Welsh
The first point is a good one, however. I appreciate your time.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
What?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Nakers and I decided last night that you are Welsh.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
You did?
Ah, fair enough.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Manchester is a surprisingly pleasant city
and I hardly think someone who comes from Derby and lives in Norwich can judge...
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:31, Reply)
No it isn't, and it's full of Mancunians
Furthermore, I have never, in all my time on b3ta, been so insulted, and many, many, many, many many people have tried. Many, many, many, many, many times.

Derby indeed. Were you a gentleman I would demand satisfaction by way of brutal sodomy.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Or is it from Nottingham and you lived in Derby for a bit?
I'm sure Derby was involved at some point.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I have absolutely never, at any point in my life, lived in Derby
You can tell by my command of words containing more than one syllable, and ability to breathe with my mouth closed. I would sooner flop my wedding tackle into the mouth of a ravenous shark whilst impugning his ability to keep Mrs Jaws sexually satisfied than set foot in that ungodly receptacle of nature's abortions.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
I heard you love Derby so much you have put yourself up for mayor.
That's what I heard.

'Derby's First Transgender Mayoral Candidate', I heard.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
I've definitely read that somewhere.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Me too! OMLG twinsies!
Look, it's up there ^
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Twinsies??
The time I spent inside your mother does not equate to a fraternal relationship between us.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
I knew you wouldn't get that.
You're so not down with the kids, Tangles. The spectacularly gay kids.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Not since my name was added to that register, no.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
I've always found the use of the word "register" in relation to sex offenders amusing
Conjures a mental image of a magistrate shouting out surnames whilst a collection of extremely embarrassed-looking middle-aged men shuffle their feet and look at the ground
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
My brother was a squatter there for ten years.
'Suprisingly pleasant' isn't how I remember it.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
This "brother" of yours has lived an extraordinary life
I'm starting to wonder if he even exists, or is in fact the outlet for the more fanciful of the ideas you conjure to make yourself seem more interesting.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:36, Reply)
My interesting years were long ago. I lay no claim to any such status nowadays.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I put it to you, Monty Boyce, if that is your real name,
that everything you've ever said about your wild & crazy antics has been a falsehood, and you are in fact a 53-year-old tax accountant from Cleethorpes with a fine line in Simpsons ties and poorly-executed puns. Your only friend is a potted ficus whom you have named Colin, and even he prefers the company of the radiator. And you only shave one day in five.

I believe the bit about Bruce Lee being your Dad mind
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
*cries*
Alas, you have unmasked me for the moutebank I truly am!
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
We all have our secret shame, Basil
I, for example, briefly found fame and a reasonable degree of remuneration in the mid-to-late 90s by "predicting" which numbers would be drawn on the National Lottery, hence my preternatural ability to see through the web of lies you have carefully woven about yourself.

The operation, as you can tell, was a resounding success.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Clearly: hence 'Derby's First Transgender Mayoral Candidate'.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Seriously, mate, have you ever been to Derby?
You walk in there on hind legs and genitalia won't be a concern, you'll be proclaimed God-King and worshipped by the braying masses in seconds.

But you will be in Derby.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I've been to Chesterfield. Will that do?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
My ex was from Chesterfield
Should've known it wouldn't work.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
I have felt a chest of a lady from Chesterfield
Does this help?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
If this happened between 1997 and 2001
I'm afraid I will have to punch your face off
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Is there really that much to distinguish between Nottingham and Derby?
I find the two cities to be interchangeable.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
*faints dead away*
*wakes up with raging stonk-on*
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:08, Reply)
It's ok, I know he exists
Neil Buchanan told me.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
That it is suprisingly pleasant
compared to how I imagined it. Mid-Eighties Beirut was my impression.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I didn't know there are trees and grass there.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Photoshop innit

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
There was street after street of abandoned derelict tower blocks.
Grey, freezing drizzle blew constantly and the grassless, muddy scrub that passed for parks was plagued by feral dogs and mountain bike riding crack dealers from Moss Side. It was truly fucking appalling.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Or, to use the language of estate agents
It was a quiet neighbourhood, with a park and plenty of local colour.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Honestly, Eastern Europe looks like Hampstead Village in comparison.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Having been to a number of ex Soviet bloc cities
I can honestly say there are parts of the South East, in fact parts of Surrey, in which I'd feel more nervous during an ill-advised late night stroll.

Nobody beats the English for random acts of senseless violence, for example.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Rightly so.
Small towns = trouble, from my experience.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
We're famous world-wide for our prediliction for drinking and fighting.
I've actually got an amusing story that I shall tell you on Saturday about our reputation abroad. Whilst we're drinking, I mean. And probably shortly before we riot.

The ex, in a rare moment of sense, was entirely appalled by British society.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
The noble days of Empire truly are long gone, are they not?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Then, as now, it was the Saxon peasant underclasses
that murdered each other in doorways.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
True indeed.
The serfs have been revolting since the dawn of time.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
What brings you up this way?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Work, sadly
Meeting tomorrow about sectorisation. Should be a good opportunity, but it involves going to fucking Manchester. And driving back, although not there.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
Ah, fun!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:48, Reply)
Yeah...
We're not heading off til 5 so won't be there til 9 or 10, otherwise I'd have asked you if you fancy a pint
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Wouldn't be able to anyway fella
The downside to getting out of debt is that you have no fucking money most of the time.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Yes, I've read that
I ignored it
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I'm currently so tired that I might fall asleep at my desk
Does that count?

I saw the cider barge recommended in the Neck Beard Guide yesterday (CAMRA), was quite odd.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Well there's levvly.
Alright, boyyo?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:30, Reply)
Nope
Didn't go to bed until 3am, probably a mistake.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Welcome to my world.
Actually since Lusty moved in the 'stupid weeknight antics' game has been greatly curtailed and I am in no small way grateful for this. I should imagine my employer is too. Half ten I was abed last night, and had a half hour power walk at 7am today as a result. I'm actually doing one-finger pressups whilst I'm posting this.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)

that's not your finger!
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Sounds good
I'm going to attempt a very early night tonight, got to catch up on my sleep.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:48, Reply)
About 2pm, all things being equal.
Check in, a wander around town, a late lunch and a sharpener and should be ready to go by mid to late afternoon.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:32, Reply)
I'm looking forward to seeing what architectural wonders slavery can pay for.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
A *lot* of big houses
and a rather impressive bridge.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Juxtaposed with a massive heroin problem and lots of prostitutes
Better take your lorrydriver's hammer.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
I *always* carry my lorrydriver's hammer.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
+ special customised jumper

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
+ a Ford Cortina for moving the bodies.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
I'm always sure to leave a pizza box
and one sock to confound the law. It's my signature.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
I don't know
but it will be 5pm at the earliest, and 7pm at the latest, although I'll be in Bristol from early afternoon.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
I should be arriving in Borth around 6.30ish on Friday evening
To both questions.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 8:35, Reply)
I'm not.
I couldn't borrow Quint's helicopter to get over from Wexford. You'll have to survive without me, hard though that will clearly be.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
We covered this last night.
Weren't you listening? Honestly, Jeffrey, I don't know why I bother.
I feel so unappreciated.

In other news, morning everybody.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Morning B3th
And morning all.
I love Bristol but it's too far and I'm too poor.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Morning BK

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Alreet AA?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Fookin shattered, but otherwise alreet
Yourself?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Yup, all good.
Thinking of braving the weather while Miss Beekers is at work and having a good old saunter. Got another six days to kill before I start work hopefully.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Ahh, good good

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
Aye
Job's only a little temp thing. Heading to St Albans tomorrow to register and stuff.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Haven't you registered yet?
I thought you had to do that whenever you moved?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Not with the job centre
Just with the agency that the job's through. I phoned them on spec last week and the said they had this job and would I be interested. I said yes and they said come in on Wednesday to register and start on the 23rd.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Ahh, I see
I thought we were talking about the other register. Speaking of which, have you told your neighbours you're a terrible nonce yet?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
BRING IN SARAH'S LAW!!!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Hahahaha.
Fuck me, I was a bit slow there. And I'm not a terrible nonce. I'm really fucking good at it.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
You mean they push back?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I can fit three on at once like a kiddie kebab

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Sheesh.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Wotcha, Beekie.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Right back atcha Monty

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
SEXPOT

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
HONEYTITS

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Everything sweet?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Everything is pretty awesome thanks
We're all moved, really happy with the house.
Hemel town centre itself looks a bit Russian brutalist but we're in the Old Town which is lovely.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Good stuff.
I've not spent much time there myself as it's got a tremendously gay name but we'll definitely head over Tring way for a walk in the summer.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
That's only a few stops away
So let us know when you're planning that. Haven't had a chance to explore that much of the area yet.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Go and buy OS Explorer maps 181 and 182.
Trust me.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
I shall look into this
The surrounding areas do look very green.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Morning b3th

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
OH STOP MOANING FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND WILL YOU?
Also, morning.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I'm not coming on account of the terrible bullying
Marnin'
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
that and cider being bent.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
i have agreed with you twice in two days
lets not come to blows about it
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Can of San Mig. will save my day.
Alas, I fear even a sip of Zyder would have me heaving into the Severn.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
That would be quite a journey
Seeing as we'll be on the Avon.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Boyce can vomit 7 miles on a clear day.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
fuck off with this dull needy no friends in real life so have to meet weirdos off the internet bollocks
i'm tired of hearing it
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
So you're not going?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
i'm signed up, i'll be there
watching from a safe distance
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Binoculars are brilliant aren't they

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
i was thinking of using the observatory in greenwich, its the only way i can ensure my own safety

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Internet shutins are weaklings and cowards, you know this
A chastity belt might be wise though
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)

chastity belt bigger boat
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Sell many kebabs last night?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
just your mums you dull prick

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I've heard of a way you can avoid it.
A small amount of deletion and suicide may be necessary, though.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
but how do we convince geoff to kill himself?
he appears to be lost in delusions of his own self importance
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Maybe if everone tells him to fuck off he will?
Mind you, this hasn't worked on you.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
i suspect he has thinner skin
what with him being a soft cider drinking lady bumkin
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)

being a soft cider drinking lady bumkin not being a dirty turncoat woppo.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
i prefer to think of italy as opportunists

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
+ broke and lecherous

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
yes because the UK's finances are in such great condition

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
At least we have elected our own leader, rather than have Germany impose one

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
When did we do that???

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
sometime in 1987

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
i don't understand what you mean by 'we'? i may have italian parents, but i'm a brit

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Bri witless cun
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
yep, well done
glad you made the effort there, that's a six
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I'd love to come, but at least half of you are cunts, so I'm not going to.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
yet more racism from the boards resident mengele

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I wouldn't want to ruin your exalted image of me now, would I?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
as long as the ragheads are still inefficient, it's fine by me

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
I'm happy that you're happy.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
i doubt that somehow
last time you were here you were close to suicidal
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I rather think you got the wrong end of the stick there old boy, at no point did I indicate that it was me who was suicidal.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
i think you did say that you were
you said something about having to leave because everyone was so mean to you and that you were close to the edge of slitting your wrists with a carving knife, then writing 'why is life so hard?' in blood on your bedroom wall before you pass out with panic at the disco on full volume
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
panic! at the disco
is enough to make anyone suicidal
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
more "bored to tears" really.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Oh yeah, sorry, my mistake.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
there's no need to apologise
i don't think anyone minds that you didn't have the stones to go threough with it, despite your racism
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I'm half a cunt, how does that work out for you?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
Don't sell yourself short

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
That really is a disturbing mental image, especially if the half-axis is vertical.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that horizontal is just as bad.
"top or bottom half of cunt, sir?"
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
There is absolutely no contest.
Bottom half.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
bottom
I could creep around like a slugg
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I think you're both basing this on half a whole person
I was thinking you meant half the actual vagina.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
taht would just be weird

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
How long have you been here?
That doesn't even qualify as worthy of a single eyebrow-lift on this place's weirdness scale.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
4 years, 10 months and 25 days

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Damn it!
Be more specific
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
My phone just randomly asked me if I want to ignore Quentin.
Either my phone has excellent taste, or I pressed the wrong link with my stupid fat fingers.
I'll let you be the judge.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
the latter
l f
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
it was probably subconcious
like idly picking at a scab
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
My phone just rang.
It was the computer shop, my laptop's dead. Days and days worth of horrifying fetish porn lost forever. Good job I memorised it all.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Get yourself a camcorder and recreate it all

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Too busy now, my plan's for the day now involve demanding a MacBook from my family non stop til I get one.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Will you stamp your foot and hold your breath if they say no?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
don't encourage him, the floors can't take it

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
All the money and drugs hidden under the floorboards will hold then up.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
you can use your ill gotten grants to pay the actors

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Now I've just accidentally clicked one of his posts.
My phone has a fucking Quentin fetish.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I don't like any of you

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
well I heard you were a cunt so...

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
phillie joe is my favourite poster here by quite some distance

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
explain

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I swallowed once

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
That brief moment of salty humanity wa just enough to get you through the day eh?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
I needed the protein boost

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
our dull argument yesterday was my favourite thing that's ever happened here

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
ours? What did we argue about?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
No mine and his
He was and still is wrong about something Monty posted but I shouldn't have bothered, he's right it was dull. Monty didn't come to my aid like a knight in shining armour so fuck him. Right Kids?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
no, you were definitely wrong
monty meant the formby was large so the uke was small, he got his scale wrong
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I'm with Philly on this one

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
then you're wrong too
why would making formby larger make the uke seem bigger?

cretins
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
I already explained the difference between him actually being large
and Swipey only thinking he was large and what implications that would have on the apparent size of the Uke.

I'm not going to bother explaining it again, you are obviously too thick. But one day it may dawn on you.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
you're wrong, you're clearly wrong and you know it
making formby larger would make the instrument seem smaller, monty was wrong and now you are too

i win
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I suspect you have already worked this out
and are simply trolling. No-one was making formby larger.

Fuck this,


(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
monty said 'did you think formby was just FUCKING MASSIVE?'
if he had been the uke would have seemed smaller, the opposite of what rachel said

i win
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Oh God you really are that thick
Yes if he actually had been bigger then the Uke would have seemed smaller yes that's very true

But if she only thought he was massive seeing him holding a uke and thinking he was massive would mean she would have thought the uke was bigger than it actually was too! Therefore she would have been surprised to find it smaller. Why is this concept so hard for you to get in to your head?

You absolute fucking retard.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
prove that i'm wrong, i have given my side and all you keep doing is saying i'm wrong without actually countering or providing an argument

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
See edit
Shall I draw you a diagram?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
yes plz
i'd love to see how wrong you are graphically represented
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
thanks for the edit
but tahts not what monty was getting at, he at no point scaled the uke up with formby, he was implying that making him alrger would make the uke seem larger, which is the very opposite of what rachel said

therefore he was wrong, and you've been arguing a lost cause for almost a day
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I think you will find that is exactly what monty was getting at
and that you are the only person that didn't understand that
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
incorrect
why in gods name would he scale up both formby and the uke? he got it wrong and nobody noticed

i'm the only person here who is right, ever
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Fuck off bert

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
tsk
a poor defence from the person in the wrong
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
That was one of the funniest 'arguments' ever.
No way was I wading in.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
just to clarify though
you were wrong
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Well thats true
and though I don't like any of you I want to fuck at least 4 of the people going.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i'm not really going i jsut signed up
teehee
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)

4 still 4
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
oh you bastard
gonna do myself harm now, i hope you're happy
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
PST
PIX
PLS

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Hooray!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
i can't handle this meanness
i'm off for a walk to treat my depression and then maybe kill myself with chainsaws
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1590580
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Can we have a Cornwall bash in the summer?
Take over a campsite? Surf? Swim? Eat Pasty with no fucking carrot? Fuck in a consequence free environment?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
where in cornwall?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Near Gwithian and Godreavy
Because the surf is good and the beaches gorgeous. Oh and we can hunt for Rabbit and skin and eat the furry fuckers oh yes!
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
never heard of them, anywhere near polperro or any of that?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Wrong coast. Polperro is on the south coast.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
wotevs
the south coast is probably better than the north one
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Nah
All the best surf spots are on the north coast
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
even fistral

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Newquay sucks
Far too many twats
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
its not in newquay though, its miles away

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Other coast
Bout 50 miles west
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Soz, I'd be repulsed by the hideous rolls of flesh and dead common tattoos that people would insist on having on display
because they all have dead personal meanings and tell their stories in a a unique and individual way by means of being blotchy stars, and unicorns and alligators, and some tossers even have their b3ta user number as a tat
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Yeh but my wife would be there

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I could have sex with her and then tell everyone, and then you could headbutt me and break my nose
This would be a talking point for years to come
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
See, there's a positive side to it already!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
+ HIV

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
wait a minute, who are you?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
^ POTD ^

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
As that's the closest I'm likely to get to a summer holiday this year
I am completely for it. I believe there's been a Cornwall bash before, too - Clenders organised it I think?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Yes it was lovely

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)

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