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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning all
I'm struggling to understand how or why my sleep has been fixed. What things can you not understand? Anything odd happened to you lately? Apart from "that" time with the nun, the dwarf and the pack of butter....you sick fuck

Alt:
I have the "pleasure" of watching kids TV at the moment. It is shit. Best/worst kids shows from when you were a child?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 6:30, Reply)
Sympathy reply.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
sympathy reply to sympathy reply

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
I cannot understand the Breivik situation
I honestly cannot get my head round the fact that someone could just indiscriminately shoot into a crowd, let alone a crowd of kids. Mental, absolutely fucking mental.

Alt: Best - Power Rangers, Dangermouse, too many others to list.
Worst - Blue Peter, Grange Hill.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
It seems odd that all the kids he shot were, to quote Monty's mate, "master race"-esque

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
INCORRECT
The true Aryan Master race were of indo-asian descent and absolutely nothing like the blonde haired blue eyed scandinavian peoples
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
trapdoor and knightmare were awesome. Worst show?
spellcasting: S-C-O-O-B-Y D-O-O
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Knightmare was fucking terrible and populated by nerds like Chompy.
'You're in a room'

Again. What a surprise. And the main bloke was a fucking nonce.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
My mate was on Knightmare as one of the "guiders"
He was not nonced
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Yes he was.
He was just scared his face would start flying off in chunks if he told anyone.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
That always happened too fast to be able to actually do anything, as I recall
Premature face ejaculation
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
something Dirk Benedict suffers from!!!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)
fuck off hippy

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
NO YOU FUCK OFF.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
NO YOUN AR!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Trapdoor was class
Scooby Doo was good until S C R A P P Y
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
why didn't scooby just let him at em?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Some misguided sense of family?
The film was quite entertaining in that it made fun of everyone actually hating Scrappy
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Good point.
The world would have been an infinitely less annoying place had Scrappy been killed by a 'snow ghost' or whatever.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I reckon he would have got put down for biting old Mr Peterson.
These days an aggressive dog like that would have to wear a muzzle.
It's political correctness gone mad!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Best:
Noggin The Nog, Mr Benn, Ivor the Engine, Chocky, The Box of Delights, Bagpuss, Pink Panther Show, Battle of the Planets, Ulysses, Monkey!, Tripods, Hair Bear Bunch, Hong Kong Phooey, Scooby-Doo (pre Scrappy, obv.), Banana Splits etc etc. I also used to love the old Flash Gordon and Rocketman repeats in the holidays. There were some superb children's television programmes on in the late 70s.

Worst: 'Why Don't You?' Christ that was shit.

I cannot understand why anyone over the age of about seven is impressed by sports and especially athletics. It is utterly beyond me. Adults being impressed by how high someone can jump etc. It's fucking pathetic.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Monkey was fucking mental.
*blows air across fingers.*
*flies off on cloud*
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I have all 39 episodes on VHS.
I have a lifelong obsession with the show. I even have the book on which it was based, which is an allegorical story of how Buddhism got from India to China, written in the C16th.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
On clouds?
Who knew
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
LOL
you fucking nut!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I realised as I typed that, that it did not look very 'cool'.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
I'm surprised you didn't want to go on knightmare as a child.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
or gamesmaster

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
or funhouse

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
I bet you and your mates wanted to find something you could do so you could get on record brakers

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
or live and kicking so you could meet Trev and Simon

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Bagpuss disturbed me as a child
I don't dont why
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Because it was fucking psychedelic?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Because it made his 'wee-wee' hard

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Damn right

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
You Welsh cunt.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Bellend.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)

ell ridg
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
*golf clap*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Professor Yaffle was cool

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Chocky was terrifying as far as I can recall.
And I only got half way through the series of Dramarama Spooky.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Tripods used to scare the shit out of me.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Tripods!
*points finger at nose*
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
With you on that.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:53, Reply)
When I was 4 or 5
I was shit scared of watching Scooby Doo.

Facts.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Bagpuss was fucking well scary

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Agreed

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:53, Reply)
It was one of the few older programmes that was still occasionally shown when I was a kid.
Had to turn it over, no thanks. That cat was a right moody looking geezer.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
The mice were fucking scary as well
"We can fix it"
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
The Head off Art Attack used to scare the shit out of me as well.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
AA's uncle Neil?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)


(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
*kills with hammers*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:08, Reply)
My sleeping pattern is back to normal as well thank fuck.
Just got up, might have a couple hours more kip though.
Alt: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hey Arthur, Magic School Bus, Pokemon. List goes on.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
wasn't it teenage mutant hero turtles over here?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Might have been, it was different to whatever the Yank one was but I can't remember which way round it went.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
it was our one that sounded less hard.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Mumps!
How the devil are you? Also; yes it was
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
BOOM!
smashing Darth, how's your gay self?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Gayish and selfish, thank you
Filled with the joys of living in a small, attractive city which isn't full of fucking Mancunians, today.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
HUZZAH!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
The funniest thing I have ever heard on the radio was on this morning's Today programme
Jim Naughtie interviewed a lady BISCUIT who was BISCUIT trying to raise awareness BISCUIT of Tourette's Syndrome SANDWICHES HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It turns out that non-swearing BISCUIT tics are BISCUIT far far funnier BISCUIT than swearing ones. BISCUIT.
For possibly the first time I arrived at work with a huge grin on my face.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:53, Reply)
hahaha!
I love this!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
It was absolute gold
I'm hoping some clever bod will stick a clip of it online soon (I'm looking towards the pasty faces of /links here).
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
I generally don't peruse links so I'd appreciate a heads up

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/radio/bbc_radio_fourfm/listenlive

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
It's not on now though, is it?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I don't fucking know, look yourself!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
You can't look on the radio you plum

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
You can look on that site though
It'll be about 2 hours in.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Today's Today is not up there yet.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Ahh, fair enough

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
I cannot understand how anyone who's been to Manchester can like it or want to go back
My only potential explanation is that it's a big fucking place and maybe I've only seen the shite parts, but surely if there are nice parts they're still full of Mancs.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Every time I've ever walked out of Manc Picadilly
I've been surrounded by people wearing fake Paul & Shark tracksuits. I quite like Manchester though, despite the fact I've been robbed there.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Walking through the city about 9pm on Tuesday a girl shouted at me "Gis a spare fag mate"
I don't even smoke. When I told her this she yelled after me "Is it cos I'm BLACK?!"

Repeatedly
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
well? was it?
I bet it was, you fucking RACIST!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
No. It was because I don't smoke
But if I did I'd have told her to go steal some like the rest of her people
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I do smoke and tell people of any colour or creed to fuck off when they ask for a smoke.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
This^
Buy your fucking own, you tight cunt.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
or if folks ask me to go into the shop for them to buy fags or booze.
fuck off, I'm not a home help, I don't do shopping for anyone by me.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I do that for kids if they look nice enough.
Cos I was in that situation not long ago.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
If they're too shit to get fake id that's their problem.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
The worst is girls in clubs
Who think you'll fall over yourself to give them one when they ask. I actually had a girl say to me "I'll get off with you if you give me a fag" before...er, fuck off love. I was well out of her league (not that that's even the point), she should have been offering me to stuff to get anywhere near me.
I find that telling them "sorry, you're not attractive enough for me to warrant giving you one" (regardless of what they look like) does the trick and takes them down a peg or two.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
fucking hell baz, I thought darth was supposed to be the gay one around here!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I refuse to buy girls drinks either.
Unless I'm out on a date with them or the like. In clubs they can all fuck off, I've had more girls buy me drinks than the other way round *pirouettes*
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
oh baz :'(
always alone
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Not any more playa
*pirouettes again*
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Fuck off can you pirouette
It's difficult difficult lemon difficult
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
*touches bad self*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
She must have known you'd had a few fags though, eh?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
If you were wearing a bow-tie right now it'd be spinning round.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
To be Frank

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
There are gigs there, and it's a decent night out if you go to the right places
But yes, chock full of cunts.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I'm rather looking forward to an afternoon's drinking on the 20th June there

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I remember four of us being there on a Wednesday
We got in a cab and told him "take us anywhere good mate". The useless cunt took us to the Printworks. We got out, saw someone get glassed about four foot in front of us, quickly hopped back in the taxi and asked to go somewhere else a little less fucking horrific.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I have been VERY drunk in there twice
It is a scary place
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Shithole too.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I ended up in a pub round the corner from there once, trying to watch a Sunderland game on the TV
Locals looked "non-pleased", to say the least
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Was it an Irish pub?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:08, Reply)
I cannot remember

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)
If there's a decent sized group of you, Canal Street is a great laugh

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
If generic bars and clubs is your thing
otherwise it's dull as fuck
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Morning mate

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Morning fella
Whereabouts did you stay?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Sportcity, M12 area
It was right out of Shameless, there were two pubs in walking distance and they were both boarded up
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I was there last week
GRIM
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Fun(!)

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Well done Norwich

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Paul Lambert is a brilliant manager

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
LETSBEHAVINGYOU

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
My best mate (who's a Canaries fan so may be biased) reckons Lambert will be Man Utd manager one day
What do you think, Rory? Who would you like to see succeed SAF?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Has to be Mourinho.
I'd love to see that. I think it could be Moyes or O'Neill though.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
No to O'Neill!!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Well if they want a man who knows how to win the European Cup...
/any excuse
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
He was going to be our manager about five years back.
We stuck with Chris Coleman, then got Lawrie Sanchez.........
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Dunno, it's a fickle business, just ask ex flavour of the month Redknapp
I'd imagine they'll veer away from big spending managers who'll only stay for three/four seasons at best in any event. Look at the mess that Chelsea are. Suppose O Neill, it'll be another couple of years yet anyway.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
he won the european cup once!
not bad considering he was released by motherwell cause they didn't think he was good enough.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Forest turned down Andy Cole and Shaun Wright-Phillips as youngsters
On grounds of shitness. One out of two's not bad
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
fair lot of epic fail at forest over the last 20 years

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
You should be on Match of the Day with that sort of critical insight
No, seriously, you should. Alan fucking Shearer. I ask you.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
bit touchy there hun.
not my fault your team is pure shite.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Yes it is
and when I prove it, you'll be sorry.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
*rips off mask*
That's right, I'm Steve McClaren!!!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Hi Shteve

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
hey, how are you sportshcow!
letsh go schmoke some weed?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Maybe shome fucking and shome shucking, yesh?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
"that" time with the nun, the dwarf and the pack of butter...
... Shows how much YOU know - it was margarine!!
Oddest thing that's happened to me lately is today's arrival of yet another unsolicited freebie - a TENS unit. Strange thing is it was addressed to me! I only asked my physiotherapist about the possibility of borrowing one about two years ago and now one's turned up. It's not from the NHS though. I'll have to investigate further.

Worst kids show from my childhood? 'The singing ringing tree' and all those very strange Czech cartoons.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Try electrocuting the cat with it
Oh, the Moomins. WTF?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
like this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8j7ZM7_okI
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Yes!
Even though that's a parody they were just like that! NOTHING happened - and even when it did there was some allegorical connection to the workers struggle or western decadence.
I'm going to look for 'The singing ringing tree' now.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
SOVIET!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ssX7NNKUug&feature=related
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
He Man voice - on! 'BY THE POWER OF THE INTERNET'
I've found 'The singing ringing tree' on youtube but I'm such an internet mongspaztardyfuckwit I have no idea how to embed it.
Watched a bit and it's still frickin' strange.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
What do you mean by your slep being fixed?
Beat, Chorlton and the Wheelies, Banana Spliys and Crystal Tips and Alistair. Never was a Blue Peter fan, the presenters were always pretentious smug gits.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
I've not slept properly in over 10 years
For the last month, I've slept like a corpse
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)

like with
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Bow-tie's still spinning round I see!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
...like a helicoptering penis

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
I would expect nothing less from my fun loving wacky North East uncle.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
*winks*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
*wanks*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
*wonks*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Old age mate.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
\o/ for old age then!
I look ten years younger
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I fixed my TV last night and now have 30 odd channels of shit 24hrs a day
Alt: Defenders of the Earth was brilliant, they don't make shows like that anymore
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Show!
Defenders of the Earth - DEFENDERS!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
I call on the strength of TEN TIGERS

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Ten benders more like.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Or you could easily fill in for all ten

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
You could easily fill in ten benders more like.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
+ with an iron bar

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)

an iron bar my penis.

Because you're all gay and stuff.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I'm not sure why but you just reminded me of Biker Mice From Mars
That was amazing.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)

+ly shit
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
NO YOU'RE GAY.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
The theme tune was incredible.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
It was indeed
Se also:

MASK CRUSADERS, WORKIN' OVERTIME, FIGHTING CRIME
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Best worst kids TV show?
Am I back in freshers week? Are you going to ask me what A levels I did next?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
are you living in halls or in a shared house?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Will you be my friend?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
do you want to go and buy some cheap cider and get totally blotto?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Oh you went to Catholic School, fancy coming back to my room for a spliff?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Were you the one who got called up on stage by that hypnotist?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Nice T-Shirt, I like the way it references something I know in a humourous way.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Namely 'Star Wars'

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
It's a trap!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
shut your trap, more like

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
I like the way that poster you have on your wall takes a well known work of art but subtly changes it to include a spliff.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I, too, am a massive 'Bob Marley' supporter.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
What's the costume theme tonight?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
I wasn't sure what colour to go as to the traffic light party
because I've got this girlfriend at home.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Did you go to the Fresher's ball?
I've never worn black tie in a sticky floored night club before
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Ours wasn't black tie.
Bjorn Again played. It was quite fun.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Do you want to go to the SU bar later?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
YEAH
I heard "pints" are only 1! I'm gonna have 6 and then be sick and eat a kebab
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Oh man Kebabs! I love kebabs! It's so cool to get completely shit faced and then have loads of chilli sauce!
You have to be so crazy to eat them because there was a study done on that shop and they found that they used 75% pigeon meat and 25% of it was "unknown". No seriously, it was on Watchdog and everything.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
You could smoke bongs in ours.
When I say you, I mean me.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I was told one could smoke weed in a pub called the Cadbury in Bristol
turns out it wasn't exactly true and we hasd simply been filling the semi outdoor ares with delicious marajuana smoke
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
A kid in my class at school smoked a cone under the desk during registration.
Looking back it's a wonder we didn't all get caught and suspended.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
waffle or wafer?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Waffle.
With chocolate sauce and sprinkles around the rim.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
holy fuck, thats the hard stuff

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Traffic

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
i don't know why your always ruining everything

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Monty called me a nerd up there,
now I'm trying to act all hard to make up for it.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
he can be so cruel

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Next time I look him in the eye I might say "Your eyes can be so cruel"
/music reference.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
How is your girlfriend?
Has the goblin king stolen her away?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
She's been taken back through time and living in the Medieval kingdom of mutants.
Norwich, but she doesn't seem to mind too much.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
we have to make exceptions for monty
drugs have ruined his brain and he can no longer understand other people's emotions, like an autistic person
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
i like how one of the sub-headers on a story about US agents seeing prostititutes
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17765647

is 'Dog-Handlers Investigated'
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
public sector just doesn't pay

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
i was implying that the prostitutes were ugly

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I was suggesting that the policemen don't get paid enough to hire attractive prossies...

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
i'm glad that we have both been clear in our assertions, there will be no misunderstandings today

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
thanks god for that
I couldn't take any more misunderstandings
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Has no one mentioned Battle of the Planets yet?
I used to make myself wristbands like what they had on BOTP out of paper. I was well cool.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I have, up there ^

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Do you want a wristband?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
No thanks.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
The Herbs.
No Monty, I'm not using Jah slang "the 'erb", I mean the children's telly show. God, it's always about drugs with you, isn't it?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Was there a lion called Basil?
How fukcing old are you anyway?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Parsley.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
The lion was called Parsley, you philistine.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
either way, it must have been way before your time?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I think it was repeated, or something

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
The lion was Parsley
Mr Onion was the teacher, the Chives were the pupils. There was Dill the dog, Tarragon the dragon, Sage the owl etc etc.
Good Lord I'm old, it was first broadcast when I was eight and I thought I was too old to watch it.

*sobs*
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Thank you BBC!
This interview with a Tourette's sufferer had me cackling all the way to work this morning. Enjoy: news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9714000/9714435.stm
(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)

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