You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1596815 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 750, 749, 748, 747, 746, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Happy Monday
Is it?

Alt: did you have a good weekend?

Alt alt: did you see the boris-ken show last night? Who should win? Or if you're not a Londoner, why should you give a fuck?

Alt alt alt: having given everyone at the LOLbash free LASIK with my flash, I have lots of drunken pics of everyone (except b3th who successfully pulled the "no paparazzi" pose every time, damn her cheetah like reflexes). Do people want them on flickr? Anyone who is just looking for free wank fodder need not apply.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:10, Reply)
Feel free to post photos of everyone except me.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:16, Reply)
But I have some crackers of you!!
Srsly though, I won't post anything publicly that people don't want posted but can email some.

(Like the pic of you fellating lighty)
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:25, Reply)
you could blur his face out
Like a sex offender.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Sod it. Post them.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:29, Reply)
but then she can't post the mIdget t shirt picture...
I'm still in Bristol waiting for the AA to tow me to a garage. Ho hum. Still, apart from car woes I had an excellent time, and Sunday was alright too.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:26, Reply)
He'll be too busy eating bacon

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Mmm, bacon.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Apart from the Wetherspoons food. Awful.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:31, Reply)
4 EVAH IN UR COLON.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Always go for the burger. Always.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Never go to wetherspoons. Never.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
blame Cavey

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
alright Swipolero?
I am genuinely curious as to what y'all look like, but seeing as I wasn't there, that counts for naff all.

Boris & Ken. Of course it matters, London is the UK'S face on the world stage. And it leads the UK in some areas of public policy.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:18, Reply)
I thought boris' idea about the rest of the country paying London back for what it contributes to keep everywhere else afloat was.... Interesting!

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:23, Reply)
didn't see that bit
But I would strongly disagree with the sentiment. London isn't an independent state.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:28, Reply)
It should be.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
An Aryan independent state.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I'm pretty sure it doesn't, you know
I don't where he'd get that kind of horseshit economics from but I assume it's tax revenue or some spurious measure of "business" but I'd place pretty safe money that reality doesn't work like that.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Post the pics!
Quite a happy monday, thanks for asking.
Alt: Great weekend thanks, I bought some awesome shirts and had my picture taken holding an owl.
Alt alt:Nope didn't see it, don't care who wins as the mayor isn't there to wield power, he's there to draw attention away from those who do. I don't live in London so not one fuck is given.
POST THE PICS!
Me and Pooflake couldn't be there so it'd be nice to see everyone.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:25, Reply)
Ugh, too early.
Alt: Not bad thanks.

Alt Alt: Nope. Boris, for the lolz.

Alt Alt Alt: Yep.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:25, Reply)
Good morning.
I thought Bristol was a great place. My innards are grumbling somewhat but I think that's only to be expected.

Alt alt: Boris is my nuckah. I love that man.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Has Lusty moved out yet?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Not yet.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:36, Reply)
Mourning.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Yes. And taking a shit.
Thanks so much for the lift. Went straight to bed upon arrival.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
You are both very welcome.
Me too. Cup of tea and bed.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
I had to stop off the motorway for a sleep before continuing home.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
I started getting the buzzing in my ears just as I got home. But it was a struggle.
I didn't get in until 18.45.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:49, Reply)
I was home for 6.
Back out at 6.30 to go to Sainsbury's local pub for a tactical recovery pint.

In bed by 9.30.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Bloody hell. I'd have lost my shitty Wetherspoons roast if there was anymore drinking.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Roast?!
Therein lies your problem, you should have gone for the mixed grill.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I had to get rid of the shakes before Mrs Battered noticed. The first beverage was a struggle.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
what happpened to you?
You missed the glassing incident. I was so busy consoling rakky over her destroyed cardigan that I only noticed the prick had bled all over my fucking handbag THE NEXT MORNING.

I'd have glassed him again if I could!
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
who did you glass?
Begbielols
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Monty got scared when he saw the first fight and needed some new pants,
so we both went and broke into M & S. He wouldn't leave the lingerie section.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:48, Reply)
I'm still there now.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)
I 'hit the wall' as they say.
Too much 'indie disco' for my aged bones to endure. Rather than whinge like a prick it seemed sensible simply to bail quietly.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
were you dancing to This Charming Man?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Was I bollocks.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Jumped up pantry boy.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I have no idea what you are on about.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
You lie.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
we've all seen his "hillside desolate"

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
*shudder*

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
you glassing the locals now?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
someone had to!

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Post them, I want to see what I miss out on these days.
I don't get to vote for Mayor, since I moved back to Essex, despite the fact that it affects my life far more than whoever the fuck my local MP may be. (Possibly still David 'Cake' Ames, I'm not sure.)

Oh, no, I remember now. It's this cunt: www.vote4metcalfe.com/

If I did, I really don't know who I'd vote for though, it's not exactly a great choice between Fasicst Boris and Jew Hater Ken, is it?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Don't you have a BNP council in your neck of the woods.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Not quite. That's a bit further over in Barking, I think. Although I think that may have changed last year anyway.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Yeah, that changed in 2010 (not last year): www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/may/07/bnp-barking-dagenham-billy-bragg
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Comedy genius vs newt-fancying communist whinger?
No contest.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
If it's a choice between who I'd rather see hosting Have I Got News For You? I agree.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Under Ken my travel almost doubled in cost
despite his claiming that the congestion charge money would be used to keep public transport cheap. He's a fucking liar.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
That's a bit like being angry at rain for being wet though, isn't it?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
That's a fair comment I suppose.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
If you're going to start not voting for people because they're liars...
Hang on, I've just remembered who I'm talking to.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
very much this.
I strongly dislike Ken more than Boris, but only in the same way that I generally dislike being stabbed more than being shot.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
a tiny part of me would quite like to shag boris

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Your cunt?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
She said a tiny part.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
THAT'S THE ...

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I refuse to vote for him on principle.
If he can't spend a grand or two getting a decent website, then what the fuck is he going to do with the budget of the city? Those <table> tags has cost him the election.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
He's not even looking at the camera in that terrible picture of him.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I just totally emailed him to let him know his site is shit and he needs profesional help.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
what about if we want anti-wank fodder?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
google "janet aylia"

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
haha
i did notice nobody was gagging to drink the "janet's jungle juice"
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
So where are the pics, I want to laugh at Monty
he is tagged in a photo on flickr, but it looks like an IT consultant from Swindon...
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
i have some absolute beauties of monty and stunned
my favourite is monty, stunned and battered, when i told them all to give me a proper internet BELM. stunned really went for it (more so than normal). the other two... did not.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
No recollection of this at all.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Me neither.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Belming? That's my normal face.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
That's not normal
despite what your mother said
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
A face that only a mother could love.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
+g

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
C:\program files\microsoft\office\excel\TPSReport\anti_wank\b4sh\20120423\
Oh yeah' baby, that's the stuff, can feel it going down now. Oh man, sweet, if I alt+tab between these two it almost looks like an animated video.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
post the pics I need a laugh this morning

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
oh man i had a great time at the b4sh, lovely to meet you all
x x x x
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
My arse is killing me you insensitve brute.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
i can only apologise for the veracity and enthusiasm of my thrusts, but your ample posterior did provoke me somewhat

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
I suppose I should take half the blame for having a 'hot ass'.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
now that i've got this in writing your accusations will never stand up in court

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I feel like one of those birds who gets shagged by footballers now.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
They always Egret there actions

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Never go back to a hotel with Robin Van Persie

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
does his red breast intimidate the housekeeping staff?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
During mating season they are renound for there territorial nature

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
He makes you feel cheep and used.
But strangely peckish.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
he sounds talon-ted

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
I heard he's been up before the beak before.
He just winged it and got clean away.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
repitition of 'before'

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I'm amazed I can type at all today.
I'm like a Shakin' Stevens tribute act after the weekend.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
You need to find out what's behind it

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)

type head dob
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Welsh, drunk and with an inflated sense of your own talent?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Hmmm...I think I just let slip a tiny glimpse of my irrational hatred of Shakin' Stevens, didn't I?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Fuck off mate Shaky is superb

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
He loves you too

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
haha

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Ninja.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
My hands won't obey orders.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
That's what you told the judge anyway

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
mine actually is
i got anally violated when i collapsed into the taxi.

and landed on the fucking seatbelt clasp.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
you should have got a taxi that had a standard seatbelt clasp

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Hahahaha

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Clunk Click, every trip

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Cunt Click, every trip

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
haha!
Wrong hole
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
No it fucking isn't
I've got loads of work to sort today and I've only gone and fucked the sportsback again.

Boris is excellent, though clearly insane. Ken is a fucking cunt

Post the photos
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Bob should be given a load of abuse for wimping out and not attending.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
This is shoddy work

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
The population of Bristol were relieved though, it meant there was food left for the rest of the city.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
It could be worse I suppose
Alt: Birthday party weekend for my youngest son, my inability to blow up balloons had them in stitches I tells ya, major dad points for that performance. It is impossible to play a Kinect game with dignity intact, in case you were wondering. Which you weren't.

Altalt: London and either of those comedy numpties deserve each other.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
RACIST.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
*joins Liverpool*

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
In other news, a friend of mine has started a blog in which she chronicles what she eats, as she's a hideously fussy eater
So she's trying new things.

Last week it was steak, which she had well done, with ketchup.

I don't think I can speak to her anymore, I'm simply too ashamed that she's associated with me. What a fucking pleb.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
At least it is a start though

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Has she tried bread yet?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
My mate Jon only eats bread and potato
I have no idea how he is still alive
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
The temptation to beat her to death with a stale baguette is growing.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Go on AA, giraffe her in the fuck!

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
What's LASIK, by the way?
I appear not to be up on my internet slang.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Laser eye surgery

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
OK, this makes a lot more sense now.
*THAT* type of flash!
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
lols

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
this girl who worked with us a whil;e back had lasik
and she goes 'oh yeah its fine, they cut the lens in your eye and then hold the lids open and fire a laser at it. you can smell your eye burning and you're not allowed to move at all but its ok'

wtf?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
It is true
Smells like burnt hair
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
i'd like to cut your eyes and shoot you with a laser

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Too late
I've had both mine done already
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
but i'd like to anyway

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
My robot eyes will detect you beforehand

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Soooooo anyway, lunch?
Come on people*, shape up!

* Please do not come on people
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Are we going to see these photos or what?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
It's going to be a massive let down after the build up.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Because you'll be in them.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Obv.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Did you do the London Marathon Al?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
a friend of mine did for some animal charity
the big poof,a nd his wife looked a right mess. he didn't die on the day though
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I entered a marathon the other day.
I got peanuts all over my cock.

Hahahahahahaha.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)

marathon comic strip
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Hahaa

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Well that's just Dandy

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
You've Beano waiting for a chance to use that pun.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
I Dan Dare use any more though

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Don't be so Snooty.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
I have been successfully towed to the garage
It was my first time being towed, he was very gentle.

worryingly they aren't sure they'll be able to finish it today. I am now sitting in a McDonalds having just finished a breakfast wrap. Ugh.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:33, Reply)
I was once towed in a caravette in Essen
on about a 6' rope at 40mph. It was slightly scary
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I saw an ad for those wraps and wondered who would eat one.
Now I know.

I have to say I'm v keen on your coat though. But I wouldn't eat that, either.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Those wraps are OK post-drinking

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I don't believe you.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Try one
True, they are full of shite
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
You're really selling the idea here.
Shite, you say?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
meh
Cheap and no wait, unlike a bacon butty
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Still better than the Wetherroast I had yesterday.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
You, Monty and who?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
*wont get fooled again*

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
*CSI's*

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Battered and Rakky had one too.
DG was sensible and stuck to the burger.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
THAT'S not THE JOKE

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
spitroast Lols

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
It was alright to start with
I'd gone off it after about 3/4 though.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I quite like them

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
C'mon ! post the pics !

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
^^THIS^^

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
^^ NOT THIS ^^

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
^^NOT THIS^^

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
worst was not was tribute act EVER

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
10/10

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
^^ MASSIVE BENDER ^^

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
well as most of the people there have begged me not to
i would now feel a bit bad about it!
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Who begged not to?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
almost everyone who was in them!
never mind. it has been agreed (decreed?) that there will be another london bash in july/august, so we can take more then.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
You're so much nicer than me.
I'd have done it the other way, posted them and only removed specific ones if people had asked.

In fact, that's exactly how I did do it.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
i AM nice!
i'm only horrible to people who have been horrible to me. otherwise i'm like the fluffy kitten of b3ta.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 750, 749, 748, 747, 746, ... 1