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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck me it's all got a bit Daily Mail around here.
I bought a copy of the Big Issue the other day for the first time in about a decide and was surprised to find it's actually rather more readable that an newspaper I've picked up in recent memory.

What socially responsible thing have you done recently?

Alt: I am getting sickened by the Boris and Ken show and have resolved not to vote for either of the buggers. It'll be a waste of my vote as one of them will get in but at least I'll feel clean and sleep soundly. What principled but futile decision have you made lately?

AltAlt: Anyone who says "Monty's Mum." is a pink-shirted, floppy-haired, shandy-drinking cunt.

AltAltAlt: Come back Blousie, I know you're lurking.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Monty's Mum.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Where's your AltAlt? Eh? EH?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
There you go Sweet-cheeks

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Nicely done sir
How are you anyway?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Fine.
Avoiding the other thread for the sake of my blood pressure and out of a wish to maintain my liking for Monty, Battered and Stunned.

Life is generally good, how are you old boy?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Ha ha.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I don't really believe in all that reactionary drivel.
Well, maybe a bit.

Btw they're cocktails not shandy.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I'd like a beer and lemonade cocktail please barkeeper.
With a brolly.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
+ a glace cherry.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
See sig :-)
How's the shoulder?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Healing nicely thanks, back on the bike in a week or so if the weather clears up a bit.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Get yourself radar first
Glad to hear it though
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Radar?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Anything that tells you when something that might make you fall off again is looming

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Yeah, I wish I could blame anyone but myself for falling off.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
It was probably a malevolent Jedi

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I killed a drug dealer with my car

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I thought Samurai swords were the officially sanctioned method.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Not if you have a supermodel girlfriend.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Be honest, you backed over the last two in your car
They just happened to be drug dealers
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
YAY!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Thank god you got that

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Shirley everyone should get it?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:45, Reply)
You'd hope so
Nice beaver, by the way
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Thanks
I just had it stuffed
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
WITH MASSIVE COCK!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I just want to tell you both good luck
We're all counting on you
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
PhillieJoe, don't start with your white zone/red zone shit

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Oh really, Darth? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
An abortion? What is it?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Abortion of chips.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
You ever seen a grown man naked?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Pissed on a tramp to give him a wash.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I'm sure Monty was delighted.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
He loves a golden shower. The filthy deviant.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I've been making my own beer,
which is recycling bottles and saving the planet or something. I'll be drinking my first one on Tuesday.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Jeremy Cunt more like.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Bid of political humour there laysngennleman.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
This is going to be my standard response to any phone conversation email or text I recieve today.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Followed with CUNTure secretary more like.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:36, Reply)
I ran over a cat
they murder inordinate numbers of birds so two fingers to that cunt
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Well done Rory.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Cheers bud
I was expecting a backlash what with it involving kittums and the internet
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Nah, the way things are going people like you and QUint will represent the Reasoned Liberal Voice around here before long.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I bought a Big Issue the weekend before last.
The guy caught me in a good mood outside Liverpool Street and I was meeting someone, he wouldn't leave me alone so I bought one. The cheeky bugger kept my change.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
STOKE'S TOO GOOD FOR 'EM.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
oh man
i always miss the daily mail stuff.

i bought dinner for a homeless man who was lurking outside the local tesco the other night. although i was surprised that his menu of choice was a large pot of natural yoghurt, fresh strawberries, and a coke. slightly odd!

boris all the way. i would definitely shag boris, just once.

i miss frankspencer's vile wit, come back frank and play on OT. i saw his alter ego lurking on qotw a few days ago, but he doesn't do the frankspencer stuff any more :(
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Perhaps his cat did a whoopsy on his computer.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I tell you, what, as a person, I prefer Boris too
Ken is a vile little weasel and I'm sick of having to cosse between the two of them so I'm not.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
boris is clearly filth
ken is dirty old uncle in a mac sleaze
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Boris puts on a lot of his buffoonery because he know people like it
He's just another shitty Tory underneath it all, but he's less slimy than Ken.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
i honestly don't think the tories are any shittier than the lib dems and the lib dems are no shittier than the labour party
the bottom line is, by the time they get to MP status, nearly every politician is a sleazy, self-interested, self-important shitty twat!
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
He's a liar - and he pushed that man down a stairwell.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
It was his wife wasn't it?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
OK his wife pushed that bloke down a stairwell.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Boris push his man-wife down a stairwell?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
My flats got £500 for being the biggest recyclers in the area.
I think it should have gone straight to me as it must have been the bottles and cans I get through what swung it.

Alt: BoJo all the way son. Wiff waff is coming home.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
What did they actually do with the money.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Threw it away.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Spent it on asbestos.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
You could say, you wasted it.
like recycling.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Spent it on laptops for CONVICTED CRIMINALS
and HOLIDAYS FOR BORSTAL KIDS I expect.

Or put it towards the maintenance of the block.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
That fund certainly needs a top up.
Have you never heard of UPVC windows?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Tina Turner'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?
Heard it? I fucking wrote it, son.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Rehouse all the povvos.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Bought me a coach ticket to Stoke.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:45, Reply)
You could get 500 of 'em to stoke by Megabus.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
I didn't give money to a homeless man because he'd have spent it on booze
I spent it on booze instead. Cutting out the middleman, streamlining, improving efficiency, working smarter not harder. Big Society. Etc.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Did you come back and piss it out in the doorway of the abandoned Woolworths too?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Is that who did that?
Fucking SOAKED I was.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I was drinking Erdinger to increase the alcohol level in my piss
Don't say I never do anything for you
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)

+TA
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Haha
Stoke is the new Dunstable
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Innit

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Stopped a kid from possibly getting battered by two others
Didn't have to do much, just shouted 'Oi!' at them whilst stumbling home from the pub.

Alt: Boris amuses me, I'd vote for him on that alone.

Alt Alt: Like you then?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:45, Reply)
A kid was trying to get Battered?
Probably mistook him for another kid.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I do not own any pink shirts.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:57, Reply)
+m

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I saw two guys kicking the shit out of a 12 year old girl
so I filmed it and put it on youtube.

*edit*I wouldn't vote for either of them but anyone who can't see through the "bumbling buffoon" act of Boris is a fool. He is a scheming like toff boy just like David Cameron
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
That's one for the wank bank.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
New chart entry at #3, behind the onelegged humpbacked black lesbian vibrator show and the doberman cunnilingus special.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
but that's exactly what makes him hot!
mmm. toffs.

not cameron though. there is something of the beardless buggered schoolboy about him, just like there was about blair.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
He's still evil
Can I get a go before Boris? Its not that I mind sloppy seconds but I'm not stirring Boris's porridge if its all the same.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
i think boris would know how to treat a woman
unlike some guys i've dated!
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I know how to treat a woman
When they give you an awesome blowjob, or bring you a steak sandwich you give them a nice pat on the arse and say thanks gorgeous. Keeps them sweet for ever.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
You set the equality movement back 20 years.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
stop pinching my arse whilst saying that

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Hahahaha.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
now tell me how you take your tea

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Naked with your finger up my jacksy.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
why do all men take their tea like this?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Comfort.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
"One digit or two?"

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
That just reminds me of this
www.b3ta.com/questions/bullies/post424706
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Oh man, I missed a good old political debate about the social.
I would love to see every politition/counciler/manager(etc) at the DPW to try living on benefits for a month, just so they can see whats wrong with it. I want no queue jumping for them, I don't know a single person who has ever gotten the benfits within 2 months of first applying.

The PayDay Loan industry is thriving because of the incompitancy of the dole office.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
OMG , THEY'RE RELENTELSS, FUCKS SAKE. My phone is litterally going off every minute.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I wish my phone would go off every minute.
Instead it just sits there, taunting me with it's lack of text message alerts. Makes a nice paperweight though.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Gutted

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Nah all's good in the hood Gonzo my man.
Touching down in London town in two weeks and two days for three months of happy vibes and smiles. I can't wait playa, I can't wait.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
aces of bases, a little 48 hour long clinical depression every month is still a goid life.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
But apart from the DWP
what have the Romans ever done for us?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Inspired the Romulans in Star Trek which was the basis of the saga that was Deep Space 9.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Didn't Ceasor on day say "Brutay ! ET TU BRUTAY ! For the Dominan shall take over the alpha gradent, in this great work of fiction. We shall enjoy this with this salad I just invented".

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Make it so!
And lo, he spaketh unto Species 8472, and forever it was known.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
haha, they were proper badass, the first non humonoids i think, aside those furball things when they went back in the past.
Id love to see more of the assended, such as Crusher and Nelix's bird. There is a convention with all the captains in London in Oct, first time I've wanted to go to one.

*cough*, sorry, I meant "WHAT IS AN 8472? SOME KIND OF POKEMON?", its the dyslexia making me spell entire paragraphs wrong.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Hahahahaha.
Be PROUD!!
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
I blame DG

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
I missed the right wing thread
So I'll just say that if you receive help from the state because you are a useless human being or can't keep your fucking legs shut so have a veritable refugee camp living in your hovel, then you'll live where you are fucking told to and be thankful.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Yes! Another sensible view point.
Perhaps you're not the complete spacker I thought you were. Only perhaps mind you...
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
*marries*

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
*bigamies*

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Too right.
There's this family that live near me that get 12,000 a WEEK in benefits. And she's a lesbian. And so's her husband. It's health and safety gone mad.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
If they get a dog they can get another £5000 on top of that

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
They'll probably get a black dog.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
With 12 puppies by 5 different fathers.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Bitch.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
And call it nigger
Dambusting bastards
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I try to take a socially responsible approach in everything I do
I have spent all morning tidying my desk and clearing out all the drawers in a socially responsible manner.
It turns out that my desk was almost entirely full of useless shite.

Alt: I have no interest in London mayoral elections. I shall probably vote against having an elected mayor in my city when the polls open in May.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Well done Hippy, good answer.
I have decided to be nice to you as use wishy washy liberal types need to stick together against the Nazi Coalition headed by Fuhrer Boyce.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Tangled is hardly the Rev Al Sharpton.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
No, I'm better than him

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
I've just had a quick scan through that previous thread.
What a bunch of nasty little right-wingers we have round here.
Come the revolution, Comrade...
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Indeed.
At least it seems we can rely on the support of Quinten, and maybe Gonz. The makes us more awesome, if not more literate.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Your boy Quentin is really growing into a fine young man.
He'll make you proud one day.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
He already does, he already does.
*wipes away a tear*
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
They're generally angry bitter people who don't believe that a country has to protect it's citizens.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
Nothing wrong with protecting the weak and vulnerable.
Dole scum job-avoiding workshy cunts who are perfectly able to get and keep a job are not weak and or vulnerable. They are lazy and should not be supported by the state.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
What about their children?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Feckless.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
So are they born lazy? Or are they taught to be lazy?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Both.
With those parents as role models.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
The whole 'nature versus nuture' debate is much broader than this.
TBH, I can't be arsed to begin discussing that.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Or do they have laziness thrust upon them?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Or shot
I'm voting option B
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Not so
they/we just think that if you are getting something for free that you don't have the right to bitch about where you get it.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
^ This ^

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I don't want them living near me. They make the place look untidy.
Send them Up North where they can spruce the place up and teach the denizens how to use a knife and fork. An shit indoors.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
I wouldn't protect any fucker that doesn't know where apostrophes go.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
THATS THE JOKE

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Nice to see you have finally adopted this's spelling.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
urrrrgh
people who don't get apostrophes really annoy me. it's soooooo simple.

abbreviation or possessive? it gets an apostrophe. plural? it doesn't. the only two exceptions you need in every day life are "its" and "it's" and "who's" and "whose". THAT'S IT! THAT REALLY IS IT! THAT'S THE GOLDEN RULE YOU MORON.

when i am queen, i will burn every shop selling "fish and chip's".
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Chip's what?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Can you also destroy all people who mix up "was" and "were" in speech?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
First up against the wall
"were not were"
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
don't "shake your head" at that

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
As well as "have" and "of".

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
oh god
"well, i was sat over there"...

shudder.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
isn't the fundamental problem there "sat" not "sitting" ?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
either "i sat" or "i was sitting" would be fine
"i was sat" implies someone picked you up and forcibly parked your arse.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
and no
the fundamental problem is, if you say that, you are a colossal fuckwit
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
I was not disputing that for a second, my dear.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Can we welcome you to The Cause Mr. Chomp?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Nothing. Nothing at all
I am big on recycling if this helps though? I recycled a nice bottle of red only last night

Alt:
Cockney - divvent care

Alt Alt:
We can see you hiding!
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
I recycle my wine bottles
By cleaning them and putting more wine in them. This is better as I use real cork which is of huge importance to the environment.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Stop killing cork trees!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Ah but thats the point! You don't it's a sustainable crop
You strip the cork off the tree and it grows back. The tree lives! YAY!
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
It really isn't sustainable.
Cork grows very, very slowly. Much more slowly that it is used.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
I disagree
Cork is incredibly important to the environment and screw tops and plastic corks are severely reducing the need for real cork. The cork industry is in decline because of this.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
cork usage 5-10 years ago was unsustainable.
It might be more managable now. But it needs to be saved for wines that actually need it, and home made isn't it.

The industry would have been in decline anyway because of cork tree decimation. Better that it's in decline for lack of use and that there are still some fucking trees left

Look at me, what a fucking hippy. Anyone got any kittens I can punch to even shit out?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Can I interest you in some vegetarian recipes?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
steady on.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
you spelled unsustainable wrong

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
you saw nothing.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
i sawed the oak planks for my girlfriends wood flooring actually

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Naked Ape is your girlfriend?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
and mighty badger
i get around
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
i'll be singing that all afternoon now
you careless cunt
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
*beach boys*

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
i love the colourful clothes you wear
and the something something something in her hair
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
it's kind of fucked the portuguese economy...

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
That's a bit like saying
"hitting the bottom of the Atlantic kind of fucked the Titanic"

I think it was a touch ronnied regardless.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
true
i like madeira though. even if it is the most overborrowed bit in europe, or something frightening like that.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
i like madeira
and marble cake lol
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
why in fuck would you use real cork?
it's utterly pointless. Unless you are producing a top-end French red that you plan to lay down for 30 years.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Why wouldn't I?
I need to put something in the top and corks cost about 6p each.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
plastic corks or crown caps.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Why would I use crown caps on wine?
Plastic corks are just as expensive.

*edit* Also I have noticed that pretty much any time I say anything about anything I do, like what bikes I ride, what films I do or don't like and what I do in my spare time you chime up with some negative comment about it, Have I done something to upset you?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
because you're going to drink the stuff in the next couple of years?
It's what most of the French wine industry does with table wine, so if it's good enough for them?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Well I reuse wine bottles
And crown caps don't fit on them. Oh and for the price of a semi decent capper I can buy hundreds of corks.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
then use plastic ones
as they are re-usable.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Or I could continue using cork as I prefer it and don't really need to explain myself to you just because you have some problem with me

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Oh, Phillie.
It's just because I care for you so.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
oh shit you two can't fall out
when it all kicks off you're on the same team, i don't want either of you
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
So in answer to your original question "Why the fuck would you use real corks"
Its cheap as they cost pennies each and its convenient as I can pick up a big bag of real corks in my local Tesco.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Cool.
but you claimed it was for environmental reasons up there.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
HE LIED ON THE INTERNET!!!!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
I can't take this anymore

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
i can't decide
when it all kicks off i'd probably want you on my side with barry, but you seem to neutral to get your hands dirty

your welcome to join either side when it comes down to it, but be sure to choose the winning team
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Rory can be ref.
Seems fair.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
nah psychochomp is ref
i reckon rory will stay on the sideline until its clear we've got the upper hand, then he'll dive in and finish you all off with a shank
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
textbook.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Sounds reasonable

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
That's worse than Hitler teabagging Mussolini, Tangles.
Worse.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I never said I used Cork because of environmental reasons
I said using cork was better for the environment, which it is.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
QUICK MENTION HIS SUITS!!!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Fucking hell, are you channeling Al now?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
I can't remember what Alexanders point was concerning your working suit arrangements however I feel it important to raise it at this important gamechanging point of your current argument on the internet

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
It's not an argument, Rory
well, except that I was being argumentative for no reason, becuase I felt like it.

I feel I should make it clear that I have no actual problem with PJ, his corking methods, or his hideously swollen and bruised balls.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
i wonder if there is a connection between the last two, when you put it that way

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
There's definitely a connection between my irritable mood and my hideously swollen and bruised balls.
So apologies to all for my irritability
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
thats alright pj
we all know you're only half a man now and we're going easy on you
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Now that my balls are huge and swollen......

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
It was rather unreasonable to enter a baiting contest
with a man whose knackers have been hammered. Regardless of b3ta rules, gentlemen's code dictates you should never be testy to a man with troubled plums. Apologies.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
I split my research time, and therefore my entire career, between stem cell therapies and biofuels
If I got any more bleeding heart socially responsible I'd be Bono. Only more a cunt. But with better sunglasses.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Nice cowboy hat.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
quentin is shagging badger??
this i did NOT see coming
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Neither did he.
hoho.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
but you'd like to tho eh, eh?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
well who wouldn't?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
nobody in their right mind

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
what lovely green eyes you have

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
is theere an off topic mod yet? i need an adult
i don't want to be groomed like this
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
off topic mod is the dumbest schtick ever

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
naked ape?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
i love teh ape

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
+r

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Only in your fantasies.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
thats alot of questions
I recycle too, and i've been saving water by not flushing my smaller poos

alt i have decided to sack anyone who can't make decent tea

altalt monty's dad

altaltalt i miss blouise, she will live forever in my heart
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Jeremy hunt is squirming so much I almost feel sorry for him.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
that picture of Maddie McCann aged 9
is it just me or does that look like they just took a photo of a 9 year old girl who might be vaguely similar to her?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Noooo they obviously got experts in and did it or something.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
riiiiight
i just saw the continuation of the 'dolescum' discussion up there, its almost like these people are unaware that there are actually conditions put in place to prevent people from claiming benefits fraudulently or because they're lazy.

the whole 'grr everyone on benefits is lazy dolescum' is generally an opinion held by the uneducated, ill-informed and reactionary tabloid reader

bless
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Yep, there's a lot of bollocks spouted by pricks on here.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Yeh like what quinten just said
There's plenty of people in my home town claiming benefits when they are perfectly capable of working and I used to babysit for plenty of people who openly admitted they had anther kid to get a bigger house.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Some black people steal cars
all black people should be punished.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
A lot of people speed on motorways, every car should be limited to 68mph

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Some people use guns to commit murder
lets ban guns
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
Some people who drink drive crash
lets ban all people from doing it
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
yeah, but all guns ARE the same.
They're guns. Ballistic weapons for killing things. Your argument kind of falls down there, chap.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
wish i had one right here, right now

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
I only use my guns for target practice so one day I can be good enough for the olympics
My point is simply that using that kind of argument is useless because its not relevant. Its similar to all those idiots saying that legalisation of gay marriage will somehow lead to it being legal to marry your dog.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
you might only "use" it for that
that's not really what it's "for" though.

But you're countering your own argument here, really.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
My own argument was meant to be sarcastic

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Even the most aggressive figures about fraud within the benifit system say it's well below 5%
3.4% for JSA, that means 96.6% of people who are claiming their 60ish quid a week are doing it within the rules and are activley trying to find jobs. Don't you think they deserve a bit more respect?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
If I really believed that 96% of people were genuinely actively seeking work and not half heartedly applying for a few a week to keep their dole
Then yes I would think they deserve a little more respect. But I don't believe that 96% of people claiming benefits are actively seeking work. I know a lot of young people claiming benefit and a lot of them will do what they can to stay on it. The minority actually want a job. Admittedly that's just my own experience based on the area I live in and the people I know but I doubt its much different everywhere else.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
There's no point arguing against your own experience with facts is there?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I don't believe they are facts.
because they don't take in to account that people can appear to be looking for work whilst not really trying
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
also you are relying on the statistics that are being provided by the very people who are signing on
is that reliable? i have no idea.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Indeed
Statistics are never reliable.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
77% of them are made up on the spot
and the remaining 42% get massaged
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Unless..
..you can provide at least five photos of jobseekers reading a copy of Viz hidden inside the job paper then I'm not going to take into account the fact that you're spack-handed mong-slobberer.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
i often wonder how much people's opinions would change if their circumstances changed - ie how much of it is genuine political belief and how much is self-interest
eg the more high earning you are, the more chance you'll be quite right wing about all this sort of stuff. so i worked from 8am til 11pm yesterday. today will be post-midnight. meanwhile a lot of my own family up north, never mind their friends etc, have been unemployed and signing on since they left school. do i really feel like working my arse off to "protect the country's citizens"? yes if they need it. NO if they are lying in bed posting on fb about going shopping.

but if i earned peanuts and wanted a salary boost to feed my kids, or if i lost my job and couldn't find another, would i still feel like that?

ditto the woolly liberals. if they suddenly got a job that took their income and thus their working hours from a 25k job to a 125k job, as there is no such thing as a free lunch, would their outlook change accordingly?

the only exception i know of personally is my ex, who earns about 200k a year, and is actively in favour of the 50% income tax rate and wants to see IHT rise to 90%. and even then i have to wonder if he would genuinely continue to feel that way if his parents suddenly had a lot of cash to leave him.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I wouldn't want to see inheritance tax raised.
Two parents working their entire life to provide for their children want to leave something after they're gone only for all but a fraction of it to be taken by the Government. You're fucking with a basic driving force of humanity, there.

I'm with him on the income tax, though. I would be if I were on his money, too. With the proviso that the visibility of where it gets spent needs to be approved. Too much of it goes to waste.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
he blames it for the world's problems, meaning that money stays in the hands of the same few
if it were returned to the government on death to be redistributed, it would be fair.

lovely in theory. in practice, people are by nature acquisitive and they want to leave things to their kids.

this is ALWAYS the problem with tax. it's not what you have to pay. it's what they spunk it on.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
What he's proposing to fix it though
is to take away *everybody's* ability to give their relations a boost. Nobody would be happy with that, nobody would vote for it and it'd be political suicide to propose it in Parliament.

Indeed. The fact is that no one job is truly more valuable in real terms than another, society would be entirely fucked without binmen, it's just that money doesn't work like that. If what you happen to be good at earns you lots of money, it doesn't make that job inherently more worthwhile to society than say, nursing. There those that earn money have a greater responsibility on them to help those struggling than those on lower incomes.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Do you know anything about inheritance tax?
Google at what point it kicks in.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
£325 grand.
So with the sale of a house, cars, contents of bank accounts etc, it's not actually that high a threshold. It applies to an estate, not a cash sum. All possessions.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)
which is PRECISELY my point
if your parents have less than that to leave, surprise surprise, you are much more likely to be all for IHT. would you still feel like that if your parents had worked hard to leave you, say, 2,000,000 and suddenly the government wanted to take 1,800,000 of it? and ditto, you are much more likely to be in favour of clinging onto your family money if you actually have any!

this is why i think a lot of people's politics is about self-interest.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)
Per individual, £650,000 for a married couple/civil partner. Then you're only taxed after that.
So you can get about 3 houses at the uk average price inherited before you pay any tax. Then you pay 40% on the 4th and 5th houses you get given for free.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
So say a married couple own their assets together, as most people do.
One person dies. The other person doesn't pay inheritance tax because they hold their assets as joint owners.

For the 650k threshold to apply, they'd have to die together. Or am I wrong, here?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
You're wrong
married partners don't pay any of the tax, and their 350k allowance is passed over to the surviving member.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Fair enough.
House prices currently being what they are though, even 650k is still well within middle class territory. My parents own two houses, one of which they rent out. Combined they own half a million pounds-worth of property and they are not unusual in this country.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)
Even if they owned £1million worth of assets
they would only be taxed 14% which is less than VAT, and all costs of sale etc are tax deductable so it would be less.

It's really not an unreasonable tax, it's just sold as one by the very rich.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:52, Reply)
We're not talking about the current rate of IHT though
We're talking about her gay ex-boyfriend's proposal of 90%
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I'm pretty fucking sure it isn't unless you are extremely clever about how you hold your assets
but I'm willing to be proved wrong, here.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)

www.hmrc.gov.uk/inheritancetax/intro/transfer-threshold.htm
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
fair enough.
There always used to be massive restrictions on this, I didn't realise the rules had changed. Useful info, cheers.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
depends how they hold the estate

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)
In reality anyone into those figures will have taken advantage of IHT tapering relief and the estate will pay fuck all

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
correct
you stitch it up with a complex series of trusts and you can avoid paying most of it.

the people who oppose this kind of tactic are generally the people who don't have much to inherit OR don't have kids to leave it to, imho. but am happy to be proven wrong.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
SOWHYISEVERYONEARGUING!!!!!!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)
And yet for some reason big media owners and tory politicians
have decided that this is AN OUTRAGE and managed to get the public to think it's a totally unreasonable DEATH TAX
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)
I don't get that, the fundamentals of IHT haven't changed in some time
I'm morally aghast for no reason
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:51, Reply)
there's a rarity factor to ability/intelligence that gets recognised
that's why the ex earns what he does, because so few people can do that job.

low income support is great. no income support? not without good reason.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)
He has a point. sadly so does Kroney.
People would just give it as a gift during their life or find a way around it. Well, the ritch ones would anyway.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
find someone who is in line to inherit anything
who thinks it's a good idea to have a high IHT band.

i would bet you a LOT that the very same people preaching about the evils of being tory right now would change their tune pretty fucking sharpish if their parents won the lottery tonight.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:50, Reply)
You are absolutely right.
There are very few people who'd stand by their morality after a sudden change in fortune and those who do would be those that believed in moderate taxing from the start.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Maybe, hard to tell really
neither you nor I are good candidates to ask, you being a well off Tory and myself a no-so-well-off Lefty. Anyway, individual anecdote don't count for much, do they?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
there are plenty of measures in place
there are also plenty of people who circumvent them. both these statements are true.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
It looks like they just took a picture of another girl and crudely photoshopped in the eyes, cheeks and mouth from the other picture

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
is it your daughter?
cos if so i'd like to fuck her as well, add me to the waiting list
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
My daughter says she doesn't fuck ugly cunts

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
that is some sick burn there.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
On the plus side
It means I'm not an ugly cunt.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
No accounting for taste really

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I hope Leveson puts back questioning him
Rather than bring it forward.
Let the little fucker squirm for a bit longer.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)

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