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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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can everyone stop boring the shit out of me now please?


alt FFS
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
You could always DYAAKY

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:02, Reply)
Or CIIJASIIE.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I couldn't though
not for a few more days at least
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:06, Reply)
what is that?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:07, Reply)
cover it in jam and spunk in its eye.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
cover what in jam?
whats happening?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
It's a very, very old meme
from the early days here, I think it was Hankster. It's a response when someone asks "Help, my computer/phone/xbox/leg isn't working, what do I need to do?"
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
what does it stand for?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)
cover it in jam and spunk it its eye.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1599593
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)
nothing to worry your pretty little head about.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)
oh right, its humourous?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)
not in the slightest, no.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)
i think it could have been
you've sucked all the fun out of it
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:23, Reply)
OK then, pick a decent topic to talk about.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
oh god this is already the shittest thread ever
i'm stuck here with the three worst posters

:(
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
FUCK YOU!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:14, Reply)
I don''t think he meant you

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
yeah he hadn't posted when i posted that

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
Thank god for that.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
FUCK YOU

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:19, Reply)
I'm coosing to believe you mena Phlly, Badger and Chompy ere SOn.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
the best posters have icons

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)
because...?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)
it's an observation
based on reading the above
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:23, Reply)
looking north of this post, mighty badger is the dullest person here

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:24, Reply)
don't mess with the badger
he bites
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)
glad i was right

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Icon cost money and people only ever have money if they earned it and are thus better than people with less money.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:23, Reply)
oh right i don't even know how to get an icon

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Click on my icon and all will become clear.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
tahts the groomiest post i've ever seen here
no thanks
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:29, Reply)
You know you want to join the 'special club' son.
go on, have a click.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Mark Chapman + gun

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
to take you SRSLY ONLINE
i do think it's a bit cheap to hang out here for years without having paid a single penny. if you're new, or bert's 10th sockpuppet, then that's a bit different, as at least he paid for the first one...
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:29, Reply)
So, basically what I said then.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:31, Reply)
so no icon = cunt?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)
FACT^

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:34, Reply)

C
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:35, Reply)
are you the fake freak again? or the real deal?
i can't keep up around here any more
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
recognition
i clicked this 3 times
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
:-(

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)
SHUT UP CUNT

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:38, Reply)
LOL JK

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
phew
i didn't want to think you were one of Those
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
You make a good point.
I've just donated.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)
ah
the exception that proves the rule
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Cunt.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
I donated again to get new icons
So that cancels your donation out
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
It'll take a miracle and misttaspakkaman to turn this thread around

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)
i think i might bring forward the date of when it all kicks off
this shit thread has forced my hand
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)
You forced your own hand

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:15, Reply)
just you wait til barry gets here
he's not half a man, like you
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:17, Reply)
HEADSAREGONNAROLL!!!!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
so basicly, someone who travels all the way from whereevrr to Bristol fir an socail gathering of friends, and then takes the mick out of them fpr doing it....
...has trouble representing both himself and interpriting peoples thoughs and feelings, on multipule occasions... might have a bpd?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
yeah definitely
when it all kicks off gonz, i want you on my team but i don't want you getting hurt, ok?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
I swear to god, if you turn out to be Bert, I'll fuckin' do one. Or Berk. One of the two, I get the names mixed up. Eaither way one will be done.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Berk's the one who fucked his sister
Bert is the guy who is always on here complainging about his weight and being single

hope this helps
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:26, Reply)
hang on, am i bert now?
i'm so confused
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Berk's not nearly headcrazy enough to be you

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Nor is she fat or single...

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
SHUT UP BERK

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:12, Reply)
But she is well dead fit though, innit?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:23, Reply)
STOP TYPING FINGERS, STOP TYPING RIGHT THIS MOMENT.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Tell me about your sister

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)
If berk turns out to be Bert
you're going to have yourself a proper Crying Game moment, the amount of groundwork you've put in.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
I'm just posting to say: Ha!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
I donno that one, is it based before WW2 and/or after dinosaurs?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
It's the one with the unexpected boner in it

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
no, but it contains SUPRISE COCK.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
or writing the press releases

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:24, Reply)
his press releases would be a thing of beauty

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
I made up a little song though, that you might want to hear.
37 offers from recruiters on my phone, 37 offers for interviews ! You take one offer, and turn it down, 36 offers from recruiters on my phone.

I've had some fucking amazing cracking offers today, video games companies, big magazines, small start ups, social networks, loads of digital agencies, big teams, small times. Wages of all shapes and sizes.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:26, Reply)
thats some good shit right there

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
I'm hot stuff !

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
congrats!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)
Afternoon all
I am not dead. This most likely displeases most of you
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:24, Reply)
i just want you to know
Mountain Dew
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:34, Reply)
I think that tastes like stomach acid.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:38, Reply)
you're not hard enough to handle it

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
I drank some Mountain Dew energy drink the other day.
Jesus. What with the caffeine and the sugar, I can run straight up walls. Also, all my teeth spontaneously fell out.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)
energy drinks are horrible

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)
It tasted like arse, but I'll be honest with you, I put that down to the Mountain Dew bit
not the energy drink bit.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
im not sure how an intelligent person could do that
All energy drinks taste nasty and all mountain dew is delicious
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
I simply don't have the necessary breadth of vocabulary
to explain to you just how wrong you are.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
i am a woman
I am never wrong
Even when I am wrong I am right
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I have experienced this phenomemon, yes.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I had my first energy drink in a while today
Remembered why I stopped drinking them again now, I feel fucking ill.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)
Extended use cured my previously crippling ME

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Its Me Me Me with you all the time Rory.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)
+h +h +h

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I'm becoming attuned to the social networking generation

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
I bet you've got a facebook account and everything.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
Rory Lyon is currently bating trolls
Like - Comment
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)
It really is fucking raining hard here.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
it RUINED my lunchtime plans
i wanted m&s but had to make do with sainsburys, as m&s is much further away :(
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Mine too. I went to Asda and got soaked.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

t a
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Alright Jeffers?
Apologies for not getting to the bash.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
Umbrella.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I know swipe is a bit money oriented, but even she can't get Rihanna to get her lunch for her

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
rihanna has done a song with that bloke who beat her up
what sort of example young women etc?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Well he's told her once

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Why even bOther she already has two black eyes

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
I wasn't sure how much he beat her up TBH

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:08, Reply)
Based on the overwhelming evidence I see on a daily basis.
Anybody that uses an umbrella is a selfish cunt with no awareness that anybody else in the world other than them even exists, let alone has a right to be able to get out of a train station, be indoors without being dripped all over or walk down a street without fearing for their eyesight.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
THIS^
Umbrellas should only be carried by those 7' tall or over
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
see also suitcases
GET A TAXI YOU TWAT
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
Some of us lift them over peoples' heads.
But you are correct, they do seem to be overwhelmingly driven by the same people that use pushchairs as battering rams.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)
Well he was talking to swipe.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)
some people just don't want their hair wet

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Hat?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)
what sort of hat do you wear that doesn't absorb water?
An umbrella hat? You cunt.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)
a swimming cap?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)
sou'wester?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)
If it's raining that hard that you'll get wet whilst wearing a hat then don't fucking go out

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
but i'd promised my friend percy pigs
as it was, he had to make do with jelly beans.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)
An acceptable substitute
I'm currently addicted to the Fizzy Teeth from Sainsburys. They are delightfully e-numberish
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
what fucking logic is this
Do you not have shoulders?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Safely covered up by a coat, yes

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Erm, quite a lot of hats.
Or, you could try a hood.

Umbrellas shouldn't be given to any fucker under 6' tall
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)
I am a cunt though
She nailed it there
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
cuntspotting 101. Fair point.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)
at 5'6 i resent that
if you have shit hair or you're bald, no brolly. how's that?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
I'm down with that. Skin has the amazing property of being entirely waterproof after all.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)
whereas hair that has just cost £40 for a blow dry most definitely does NOT

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)
well then, as long as you keep your umbrella high enough
you will be exempt from my cull
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:11, Reply)
much obliged darling

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)
Just watch what you are doing with it
Fucking pointy cunts
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)
ronseal.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:59, Reply)
umbrellas help but they only go so far
mud splashes all up the back of your stockings is a Bad look.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)
body condom?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)
wellies and stockings is a look, certainly.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
kate moss has probably done it

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Kate Moss has done half of London, though.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)
better than on your knees

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)
haha good point

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:04, Reply)
It's ok I'm back
Things will be better now
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

bett gay
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
Benter would have been better
I'm on a train in the rain, wearing brogues and listening to the pogues.

There are coal power stations on my left and right, the beautiful industrial northern pands
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)
I love the Northern pands

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:12, Reply)
I also like to wear The Pogues

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:14, Reply)
Just going through doncaster, it looks shit

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
It is shit
Where are you headed?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
London and civilisation
On way back from york
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:26, Reply)
York is ace

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:29, Reply)
pands? what sort of autocorrect is that?
also, I now have an image of you wearing Spider Stacy as a hat.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
yeah yeah, on my phone

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:16, Reply)
What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Thanks D Ream

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)
curse your mindpiss.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)
fuck off Professor Cox.

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)
+of

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:08, Reply)
i stuck up for you earlier!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:09, Reply)
What happened? I've been in a meeting

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)
offtopic is on another gooooooooooo-slooooooooooooooooow

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
ITS OK I'M BACK

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)
\o/
offtopic is saved!
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)
No need I've already fixed broken \OT

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)
ah crap i'm with the shit posters again

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

with s
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
It's like the secret seven
The whole gangs here man, let's just go crazy
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)
*gets nuts*

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)
can i be the man with no name?

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)
get fucked you psy trance wanker

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)
hahahaha!

(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
what the?
your off the team man, even if we're winning i don't want you now
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
If you were a disco biscuit kid of the 90's you'd have gotten that reference :(
SAYIMBACKONTHETEAMMAN
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:23, Reply)
ok rory, you're back to neutral
if you wanna jump in on our side once the heavy stuff goes down thats cool
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:34, Reply)

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