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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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This afternoon I have to go to Swindon.
Following recent trips to Widnes, Preston & Llantrisant. When was the last time you had to visit a shit hole town for work? Do you get to travel with your job? Anywhere decent?

Alt: What would you guess your grandmother's favourite sexual position is/was?

AltAlt: Should Jeremy Hunt resign?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:00, Reply)
I've never had to travel for work.
But I'm hoping to once I've finished my degree.

I don't really want to think about my grandmother having sex.

And I don't know who Jeremy Hunt is.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:01, Reply)
trips to London occasionally
Jeremy Hunt has to resign. He way overstepped the mark.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:18, Reply)
I travel for work all the time..
... luckily I never have to visit the worst one of all - London. I've travelled to some awesome places with my work. I loved Kiev, Singapore, Melbourne and Adelaide, didn't like Paris (apart from the 'naked boss rant' adventure) or Frankfurt.
Most other places I like, I suppose I'm a xenophile.

Both Grannies are long dead.

Jeremy Hunt shouldn't resign. As a member of both the conservative party and the cabinet he should be executed over a period of weeks with the inventive use of power tools and corrosive liquids.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:23, Reply)
Kiev is a great place.
Although I didn't see chicken on the menu in any of the restaurants.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:36, Reply)
I did!
In the Hotel Rus (the older one) on the hill overlooking the city. It was great!
One of the best things about my stays in Kiev was that I was staying in the new Hotel Rus and my room had a good view of the Dynamo Kiev football ground. I'm not a football supporter myself but I had many guests on the nights they were playing, all of whom brought vodka and food with them. Happy days.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
I travelled a lot when I worked for Coca-Cola.
When I was visiting somewhere I hadn't been before I would often create time in my diary to have an extra day there to have a look around.

Best one was Moscow - got an english speaking tour guide from the hotel. She was a history teacher so I learned & saw a lot in a short space of time. One of my favourite cities.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I've never been to Moscow
It's one of the cities on my 'must go' list. My company had a stand at the recent building show in Moscow and I was hoping to go but I wasn't asked as I speak no Russian!
Never mind - I'll get there someday.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Everyone should visit: Moscow, Rome, Paris, Hong Kong, Kiev, Prague, Edinburgh, Istanbul, Tel Aviv, Kathmandu, New York, Berlin and Bilbao at least once in their lives. Perhaps not on the same trip though.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Good list!
Hong Kong, Kathmandu, Moscow and Istanbul are on 'the list'. Never fancied Tel Aviv or New York. The rest I've been to.
I would recommend Barcelona, Cologne, Tunis and Singapore (GOD I loved Singapore!).
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
I like Barcelona but it is very touristy.
Avoid: Bucharest, Madrid, Kyoto, Copenhagen (dull), Naples, Atlanta and Marbella.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Everyone should visit Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon)
Amazing, vibrant place. The food is superb, varied and incredibly cheap. Take suntan lotion.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
I would love to go to Vietnam.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Can't recommend it enough
Although you do basically have to choose North or South, the distance between Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh is sufficient to make doing both effectively the same as visiting two countries
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
I went when I was 19.
Didn't really know what was going on.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Hahahahahahahahaha.
None of you received a hero's welcome. None of you. None of you.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
You suffering from PTSD explains a great deal.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Edinburgh.
Seeing as my Nan was a god-bothering envoy, I'd have to guess at missionary.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:24, Reply)
you think Edinburgh is a shithole?
You're mental, son.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:08, Reply)
See the 'anywhere decent' part of the question.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Alt: Maternal or paternal?
Alt alt: Yes. He has clearly abused his position.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)

position my mum
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:35, Reply)
No, that was me.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
No, hang on, that was your mum.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:38, Reply)
I only ever tend to work in Macclesfield, so it's not really a problem for me
One of the houses I have had to visit recently is absolutely beautiful, so I don't mind that at all.

Alt: I'm not sure what the position is called, I simply know it required a harness, a tin of paint, 3 cucumbers, and the back line of the London Broncos. She was an odd woman.

Alt Alt: Yes. However, I do want to hear James Naughtie fuck up his name again.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:36, Reply)
BISCUIT!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
HAT!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
On a couple of occasions I have had to visit suppliers, usually based in some northern hell hole - Oldham, Blackpool - that sort of place
But I have only ever seen the inside of their factories and then come straight home again.
Whenever I have attended meetings in London the usual policy is to book a later train back, which is not only cheaper but also allows for a couple of hours drinking.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Supplier in Oldhham and Blackpool....
I'm guessing you sell 'despair' for a living.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
You're not too far off the mark
I deal with the "worried well"
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
My company has its major offices in Manchester, Bracknell and Leeds
all of which encourages me not to get noticed or sent for training courses. Could be worse; in my retail days I once had to go look after our Lowestoft branch *shudders*

Alt: My grandmother never had sex, according to my Mum. She was very clear on this point.

AltAlt: Of course not, as long as he's in the news refusing to step down people will be too busy to talk about the fucking weather
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
I always found her to be a right goer

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:48, Reply)
Leeds is a great city, great nightlife, regardless of musical orientation.
I love working in Leeds.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Ever go to the Flying Pizza in Roundhay?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
no.
I'm in the city centre.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Excellent food.
It's even better since Jimmy Saville died, as he used to go there.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
is it one of yours?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
No. It's an independent.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)

musical sexual
working quending
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Alright Jeffrey? You're hitting the strikethroughs hard this morning.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)

're hitting the strikethroughs make me
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I have blue balls this morning. Wife interrupted me having a wank in the shower.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Selfish bitch

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
That's how I'm rocking today.
Until I go out for breakfast and then shopping anyway.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Tell you what sunshine
If I ever do have to go to Leeds for work, we'll have a PINT. We'll make sure we get plenty of photos of us together so our peers can decide once and for all who's better-looking.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
must not strike through
must not strike through...
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
She probably deserves it
whoever she is
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
it's a deal.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Milton Keynes to see a client's agent
It's more soul destroying in its bland depressingness than it is a shithole though.

Northampton for an arbitration.

Swindon for a site inspection.

And I used to let houses in seedley, the aptly named shortest bit of Salford.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Love the description of MK
My last employer had a head office and factory in MK, During the times I had to stay over I never found a pub with any atmosphere at all. In th eend we all used to take minibuses out to the surrounding villages in search of somewhere that didn't suck out your soul as soon as you walked in.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
it's the most arm chewingly suburban place
Everything looks the same, as if someone made it in a giant factory and dumped it in straight lines.

I haven't been, but I bet welwyn garden city is the same.

Shudder. Bring on the personality, even if it does have high ceilings and dodgy wiring.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Welwyn is the same. *shudders*
I looked at a house once there. Couldn't run fast enough away.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Welwyn Garden City is fucking terrible
Welwyn village just outside is excellent
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I saw another one there
but it was just too near to WGC for me to have been able to sleep at night.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Milton Keynes is like an ugly grey version of Stepford Wives.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
But with GREAT TRANSPORT LINKS!!!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
ssssssh for chrissake
We don't want the locals getting "above their station" (see what I did there? And escaping.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I don't travel for work in this job.
I used to. Swindon was also probably the worst place I had to go. Washington DC was by far the best and more than made up for it though.


AltAlt: Abso-Jeremy Hunting-lutely.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
You should resign.
Having first deleted your account, obv.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
monts.
Do you still have those links to those essential mixes?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)

mixes monkey porn sites
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
are essential mixes like essential oils?
as in there's fuck all essential about them
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
In this case, I suspect you may be on to something.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
i just looked up why they're called essential
parently its cos they contain the essence of whatever it is they are

thats nice
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Well, you learn something new about advertising bullshit every day, don't you?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
No, this is something of a one-off
but that is a fairly specialist field mate
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
First click of the day
Young Oftiweak comes out of leftfield with a blinder. Unbelievable Jeff.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Agreed.
Normally you're fighting like beavers.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)
MUFF BATTLE!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Clam jousting?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Weren't they just posted on a thread here?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)
i'd like to make a proposition
i propose that your mixes, in essence, are in fact shit
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
That is what makes them essential
They have the essence of shit.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
seconded.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
i go nice places for my work, i've never been somewhere i didn't like
i reckon nonna was a right old go-er, you could see the passion in her eyes, she was a firecracker, i would have been privileged to have a jump with her

altalt who?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Hey Marty.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Hi!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Ho!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
silver lining?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Thank you.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
And away you go now

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
i thought it was 'Anywhere you go now'.
You learn something new about Jeff Beck lyrics everyday.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
I'm not that much of an authority on song lyrics
I have quite poor hearing.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
You're right though, I checked.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Ha ha ha.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I live in Glasgow.
I don't need to travel to experience a shithole.
Still, every cloud and that.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
indeed, you've got all the free blood you could need of a saturday night.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)
scars are sexy, I can easily get one.
result!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I can confirm this
I've got an incredibly tiny scar on the bridge of my nose from tripping up the kerb and smashing my glasses into my face when it impacted with a wall. The street was awash with fanny in seconds. It was like a blood-splattered Lynx advert.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
by "fanny" do you mean large men?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
No, Craddock
Scars = NOMMY FOOD
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
And by "blood" he means semen

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
by falling oven on a kerb and smashing his nose
he means having a gang-bang down the docks with some Russian sailors
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Fucking CCTV

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
"that's the plot of the A-Team, series 4, episode 3, Clive. What REALLY happened?"

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Hahaha
Quality
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
I've had to get a couple of big ones just to blend in when I visit the Uni.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I went to a meeting in Glasgow a couple of weeks ago.
Everyone was drinking Irn Bru. Everyone.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Irn Bru Tennants Super.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I actually spoke to someone I suspect was Scottish.
They certainly sounded drunk. I couldn't tell for sure, the sound was somewhat muffled by the deep fried mars bar.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
it's the law :'(

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
My Uni shop has two fridges for all other drinks and two for irn bru.
They are all the same size. And it's 50 miles from Glasgow.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
HOOTS!!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Crivens.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Jings!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Cripes!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
helpmaboab!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
I got to go to Leicester earlier this year and once had an exciting three days in Newcastle..
..at the Sage centre for global domination. Most of the time I couldn't tell you what the weather was like on any particular day.

Altalt: Yes. Yes he should... static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/1/4/1325710557005/The-Iron-Lady-Premiere----006.jpg
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
He looks like a smarmy prick anyway

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I get to go to Welwyn-garden-City, which is creepy and reminds me of the Truman show
York, which is nice but I only see through a taxi window and Croydon which is the armpit of, well everywhere.

alt: up the shit pipe in the ally behind Safeway's

altalt: undeniably it seems, however I hardly trust News International's evidence to be 100% true and fair
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
I fucking despair of this shower of Tories
at least the last lot, whilst being shitcunts of the highest order, at least had the decency to

a) Do proper things wrong. Being too nice to bad people? bollocks. They'd be nuts deep in teenage hookers whilst pulling the heads off live swans and

b) Actually resigned "to spend more time with the family" after they were caught up to the back wheels in a rent boy.

This country is going to the fucking dogs, I tells ya.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
As Graham Linehan said, 'Cabinet doesn't feel like quite the right word for this lot, let's call them a Tool-box'

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I used to travel all over the UK with work
As far up as Dundee, and as far south as Portsmouth so I've seen plenty of towns I'd not otherwise visit. This was a good thing as invariably they'd be nicer than you expect.

Exceptions to this rule were:
Middlewich
Southampton
Port Talbot
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
And, surely, Dundee itself?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Actually Dundee was good
I went to a mate's stag weekend there once and had a right laugh. Ended up knobbing a friend of his the next time I went (female!)
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
So it was a done deed yeah?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
haha!
Yes, yes it was
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Southampton is an abomination.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Most of the South coast is

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Sheppey.
What a pretty place, what a load of bull terrier wielding, tracksuited oafs.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
chavs and coffin dodgers epitomise the South Coast

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I remember the one plane a day from Newcastle down there and the tin shack of an airport
Hailsham was a good one. We got there at 5:30pm to find it had shut. Everywhere. Had to get a taxi to Eastbourne to get something to eat. Eastbourne is like the set of a zombie film
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Port Talbot's not a town, it's a giant factory.
All of South Wales, with the exception of Monmouthshire (and even that's not great), is a complete shithole.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I've stayed at the something Beach Hotel on the seafront
It is stuck in 1971 but the food/beer is good
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Prawn cocktail and Steak Diane washed down with Watney's Red Barrel?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
A nice bottle of Blue Nun to go with the Vienetta, sir?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Pretty much this, yes
I was the youngest in the restaurant by about 30 years
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Fucking hell i'm impressed that bunch of 90 year olds had enough teeth between them to attack the steak anyway

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
*glares*
I'm not Monty you know
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
North Wales isn't much better
A lot of it is just overspill for Liverpool.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Ah Swindon
Hometown of future-Mrs-Kroney Billie Piper.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
+origination of the restraining orders against you

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Is it going to be slow and shit here again today>?
i might have to do some work
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Or post more?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
that would have the opposite of the desired effect

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I'm the best one here
this has been proven time and time again
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
I quite often have to go to that
shitehole that is London...

Alt... Reverse Cowgirl Anal

Alt alt Yes
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
London has something for everyone
clearly you are therefore not anybody and I consequently call you a sub-human spastic
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I like London to visit, but wouldn't want to live there; a few months in Hounslow was enough.
Alt, one foot in the grave.
Alt alt. probably, but politicians, by "virtue" of the job are corrupt liars. I'm sure the saintly Milliband has a few skeletons in his closet.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Like he says^
apart from Hounslow
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
why you talking like yoda are?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
When 900 years you reach, type as well you will not

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
I do like London a great deal but I don't think I could live there

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
That's because you have to be a REAL man.
No offence.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
*Chest bumps*
Can i go back to SW13 now please?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I wish you would.
SW13? You want to try keeping it "real".
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
He has oak floors you know

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Oak's good.
/film
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)

good nice

/filmpedant
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
*stands corrected*

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
The Star Wars droids less well received follow up single?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
*unzips*

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Hahahahahaha!
What do you call that? It's like a penis, only smaller.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
I call it the Destroyer

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I call mine The Berserker.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
More like the Bertseeker you horrendous homo.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Brother and sister IS one of my fantasies...

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
This pair?
www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/3792109/Brother-and-sister-in-lift-sex.html
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Errgh. Yuk.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Maybe another pair for you then

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
That's the best advert for why people shouldn't drink strong lager.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
thats grim
but why was he placed on the sex offenders register but she wasn't?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
'cos it tastes like bubble gum?
Or is that what you told those kids?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
How do you know what it tastes like?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
The kids told me

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Sexy, sexy kids.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Even as a provincial
I wouldn't just lump all of London together. Places like Streatham, Brixton and Kensington are all shitholes full of pikeys and muggers, certainly. There are some very nice villages in London, though.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
West Kensington = Shithole
South Kensington = lully
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Shitholes.
They're no Uxbridge, that's for sure.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Brixton is alright.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I was offered a job in Swindon many years ago.
The fact that it was a complete shithole was the deciding factor in me rejecting the offer.

I have also been to Northampton on a course, which is the most dreadfully dreary place I have ever seen. I went 'out' one night, and I swear to god the entire town was shut.

I go to Bournemouth quite often with work, and it's quite nice. As a fucking Northerner, I quite like the seaside.

Alt: Wheelbarrow, I believe.

AltAlt: I'm guessing yes?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I was once in a pub in Stevenage and was told to drink up as they were closing
at 6pm....
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
At least the pub had been open.
The Northampton ones looked like they hadn't been open since rationing.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Great Yarmouth is like that.
I was in a "restaurant" at about 7pm and the bloke that owned recommended against going out for a drink. Said it was probably safer if I went back to my hotel.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
^^^This^^^...

I once played a gig at Sixfields stadium. What a crap-bucket that was.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Walking the 100 yards back to the hotel
I saw two fights and some slag squatting down and having a piss outside a pub. It was still daylight.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I have to go up north every so often
Wakefield sheffield leeds manchester. They're not that bad.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Wakefield is a bit grim
Sheffield is impossible to drive round
Leeds is good, as is Manchester
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I usually see, train station/hotel/office/recommended pub.
So I'm not really giving an educated judgment.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
I used to have the joy of printed map and no satnav to find the office
Hence I saw a lot of the towns as I drove round the ring road for the 7th time
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Every damn day...

I live and work in Coventry. That's the shithole bit answered.

In my old job I had to go to the States a lot. NY mostly. I liked it, but eventually got tired of jetsetting about all the time, so I quit in order to spend every.waking.moment in Cov. What was I thinking?

Alt: Got to be bogstandard Mish...She was northern.

AltAlt: He can go and fuck himself, in any position he wants.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
You need a Covee break.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)
LTI

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Oww yiss.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
That reminds me...

Of when Soccer AM was funny
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Tim Lovejoy was never funny.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
but he was always a cunt

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Fair enough...

But I liked Fenners, and 'Take it like a fan' is ok.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
@ Pooflake - How very dare you!
Coventry is my home town and I won;t hear it's fine name besmirched in such a fashion by an oik like you!
Sir, I demand satisfaction!
I will meet you this very lunchtime whereupon we will engage in hand-to-pint combat for the fair name of Coventry!

TL;DR

Liquid lunch?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
You're on...

If we can find a pub in Coventry that is not quite deliriously shitwadded
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Good luck with that.
And League 1.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I know...

I was going to put *cries*, but It's not like I was surprised.

'Shit team from shit city in 'being shit' shocker'
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Why don't you two bum each other, delete your accounts and kill yourselves
this would solve all of your problems
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Can we have lunch first?...

I was looking forward to that pint :(
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
verily forsooth you almighty quender!!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I donno, I ain't really bothered by general areas of places I visit.
If I don't like it, then its not like I'm going site seeing, and if I do like it, then thats pleasent enough. Only exception to this is when I feel unsafe at an area to a place I'm going to, but that's not really snobbery, it's just that I dont wanna end up with column inches written about me.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I spent about an hour yesterday trying to find a budget tracking app
for android that worked with not $, then I realised it didn't matter.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Cool story, bro.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
I dun a silly!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
I do mine in an Excel spreadsheet.
Stick it in drop-box and you can edit from your phone, PC, whatever.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Yeah, I wanted something a bit more involved than that.
That's far to simple for my tastes.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I thought as a master of excel you could build in your own complexity.
ANyway, point taken, my monthly budget is pretty simple, intentionally so.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I don't like using excel outside of work to be honest.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Exciting* Milton Keynes news:
www.metro.co.uk/news/897263-milton-keynes-named-most-popular-location-for-first-time-buyers

*Not necessarily that exciting.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Interesting pic!
I'd say that was (possibly) Stony Stratford - good luck with affording a 'first time buy' in THAT location!
As to the rest of MK - it's like that song 'Little boxes'.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
It's a wonderful place.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
my mom's mom was a cock hungry whore that was always hanging all over my grandpa so she probably liked it in the shitpipe

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I expect this post will take some beating today.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
why
You asked I answered
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
This made me giggle

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
even as a kid i was like why's she hanging all over him like that
It was weird
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Is it wrong that I am turned on by that.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
i guess it depends on which bit
The gran or that I was a child
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
i don't really care either way

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
This is Stunned - I would guess at both.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Perhaps, but not surprising.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
At least grampa wasn't hanging out the back of her though

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
small mercies and all that.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
he played it cool like fonz

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
can someone make the rain fuck off now please?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Not raining here in the west so it should ease up soon
more weather forecasting on request
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Pissing down in Newcastle

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
well duh!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
You are mistaking Newcastle for Manchester

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Dry near Islington.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Spoke too soon.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Is that a euphemism?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Heavy showers in Dunstable.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
This definitely is

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Rachel
You are rich
Buy me an ipod
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
buy a classic on ebay, they is cheap and better than the touch ones

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
no

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
yes

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
no shut up you're ruining it

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
why would anyone want an mp3 player these days?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
instead of what?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
A portable small dog looking quizzically at a gramophone

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
a box accordion and a monkey

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
This should be compulsory in gyms

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Presumably because everyone (barring peasants) have a phone that is more than capable of playing music.
I know I do.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
yeah, see

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
See? I knew you weren't just being tick.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
phone is 16 gig and i have 60 gig of music...

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1600418

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
it's an iphone 4s, but as i have an ipod i didn't need to shell out for the more expensive 64gig version

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
yeah cos buying a slightly cheaper version of an overpriced phone was really clever

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
well it was, as I got a simple transfer from my old phone and the itunes library I have built up
It also works beautifully, looks fanatastic and I find it incredibly useful.

But thanks for your internet opinion.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
You are aware ther are other phone that do all these things, but allow you to do advanced things like upgrade the storage and replace the battery?
They are even cheaper. oh and www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1600418
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
oh god it uses itunes
i'm out
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1600418
simple as.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
bigger memory card or less music is what you need
fucken 60 gig of music, what the fuck, you ain't gonna listen to all that
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Well of course I will, and I will continue to add to it for the rest of my life
I suspect by my retirement it'll be hundreds and hundreds of gbs
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
your phone should have enough memory and capability for all the music you'll ever need
an mp3 player is just extra shit to carry
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
not with all of the porn

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
by a bigger memory card for a fraction of the price of an ipod
then you can have porn and music
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
What's an ipod?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
i want to use it at the gym

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
A classic iPod Mini will cost fuck all on eBay and would be 4GB

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Vinyl is the way forward

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
but she could buy it online at best buy and i could just go pick it up today

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
or you could just shut the fuck up and download music to your phone

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
not enough space and kills the phone's battery

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
You have a shit phone.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)

phone life.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
we're so in tune today

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Well it's not hard when people are being such spastics.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
its becoming a daily occurence
these people are old and stupid, we need to haev them committed
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Yup, old and slow, time for a cull

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
or you both could fuck off elsewhere

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
i'm deeply offended
here i am giving away technical advice to the illerate and incompetent completely gratis, and this is the thanks i get?

that'll teach me not to reach out again i can tell you
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Or you could, you scrounging forriner

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
its the internet you twatwaffle
No one is foreign on the internet
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I'm pretty sure you are.
and if you're not then I am.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
since I've been here 6 years longer than you
I'm willing to bet you are the foreign
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Je suis très heureux de cet arrangement.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
like fuck it does
space can be improved with a decent micro sd card, and if your phone can't go 24 hours as a phone, doing calls, internet and a couple of hours of music, you have a shit phone
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
should i ask her for a phone instead?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
have you got a cock

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
or you could shut the fuck up
And I could get a free ipod
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
neither of those scenarios is likely

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
i would have bought you one
if quentin hadn't stepped in. sorry kristine.

i can help you sue him though.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
i work with the finest legal minds in teh country
BRING IT ON BEEHATCH
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
that sounds like fun

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
quantifiable loss and damages: cost of super top ipod
plus mental anguish, travelling costs, loss of business opportunities due to ipod-less induced depression and anxiety...

$4,000,000? plus costs and interest, natch.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
Fine here in the North

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I get to go to a differnt European country once a week. Whilst it can be fun the first time you go, it quickly gets boring to sit on your own in random bars in slovenia's version of Swindon.

particularly shitty is Eindhoven.. it's like a medway town.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
You should PerSeVere with Eindhoven
It is very nice
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Jeff, give SPorto his login back

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
ITS OK I'M HERE!!!!
So I was browsing the facebook page of my future wife and was checking out the pics of the Bash and saw that Gary Oldman turned up in his full Sirius Black getup! Except it wasn't Sirius Black it was Monty!

My last job I got to go to Japan a couple of times. In this job I might get to take the bus to the next campus. So today is my first day being the boss and up until 10.30 I presumed bosses bossed people about, were universally hated and drank tea. Now I realise you have to deal with it when someone in gets all upset and cries.

My Gran likes the helicopter and the hot karl.

No Jeremy Hunt should be made to answer silly questions over and over so we can watch him squirm for our own pleasure.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Is it true that Japanese birds dig Western men because we have massive dicks?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Ask my other wife, Natsuki Kasamaki

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
When you say ask, do you mean violently rape?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Go ahead.
I loved her man, why I came home and married an english girl I'll never know
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Is it true that there fannies are horizontal?
Are they dirty?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
yes
and no
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
here she is giving Welcome Message 2
www.ritsumei.ac.jp/fkc/topics/ssh/2006/ssf2006/files/greeting.htm

I broke her heart :(
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
"A Great Reliance On Universal People"
CUNT
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Go easy on her, English was not her first language
and she didn't make up the ridiculous acronym
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
She looks like a Rottweiler chewing scotch bonnet chillis

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
It's ok I married the hot one
and dumped the nice one.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Is it true that English girls in Japan can't dig themselves out of sand-filled baths?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Sometimes, yes

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Is it true that Chinkies have sideways fannies?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
I've never been with a Chinkie
and I can say that because I was in a restaurant when I said it or some bollocks
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
That's right.
It's all about context.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Fack orf sonny.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I saw a picture
it's good know that "Just for Men" really works
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Ha ha.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
That is the motto on Monty's "tramp stamp"

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
The only pic I've seen is on Battered's 'comedy' newspaper page.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Where you still look like Sirius Black

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
that made me laugh a lot when you put that

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Marilyn Monroe: 'If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.'

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Even if you don't have facebook someone can direct link the photos to you.
If you care that is.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Do I care?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Probably not, you think digital photos are "cold" and "commercial" not like oil paintings.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Did you not like that page?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
I loved it
I hope this helps
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
they're all on fb, apart from the few that my spazzy blackberry is refusing to email across or the ones that i was asked not to post
so lusty can show you!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
No! You are Sirius Black AICMFP!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
exPhillieamus.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
You can't do that to me, I'm the Boss

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)

m the Boss ve got no bollocks
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
HOW DOES HE SMELL???

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
like regret

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Slightly rotten around the stiches but thanks for asking

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
with a knife!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Dont mention the knife

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
That's not a knife

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Shut up Bally-loss

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
sup?
What's new, homeskiddles?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Phillie has no balls
Monty was in Harry Potter
Quinten has a tumor (sorry to be the bearer Q)
and Pooflake and Captain Placid are meetuing up at lunchtime to offer to buy underage girls drinks so they can nonce them up in the park
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
is there a tumour in your humour
are there bags under your eyes
have you had enough of stuff
do you need a bit of rough
do you believe
you must believe
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I know its not as interesting but I honestly still have my balls
I just am missing a small section of my Vas deferens. Once they have healed they can go right back in my wife handbag.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
new thread
this one is too long
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Can we talk about my balls
and Gary Oldman in the new thread too?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
yes!
just don't post in the naked ape thread of doom, or you'll catch mongoloid.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Too late!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)

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