This was the kind of stuff I was after
I got bollocked once for purchasing incorrect cheese.

There is no such thing as incorrect cheese. It is simply MOAR cheese
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:16, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I hate Chris De Burgh.
Fucking MOAR Cheese.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I don't understand this
Lady in Red (Leicester)?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)

MOR joke.
HTH.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Ahh
*sound of dropped penny*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)

*looks around for Monty*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)

haha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)

I got told off for opening a new packet of crackers
when there were already some crackers open in a tin at the top of the cupboard.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)

I got the STARE when I informed Mrs Cow that when we are educating the kids
to say please and thank you, she doesn't say either
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)

Nor does Al

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)

*shakes head*
Shoddy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)

I actually told the mrs off when we were in Australia for continually saying "Can I get" instead of "Could I have"
I always think "Can I get" sounds really rude. And the mrs is always banging on about me not saying please. But that annoys me, because if you ask someone politely for something (e.g. Mrs al? Could you possibly pass me that screwdriver as I'm stuck up a ladder?") then you say thanks afterwards then to me that's fine without the please, and being badgered to say please when you're standing on a fucking ladder trying to stop the light fitting falling down is really irritating.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)

Not saying please and thank you is just dreadfully rude
I am a stickler for it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)

Sportscow, do you think you could possibly FUCK OFF.
Thanks sweety.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)

See, better

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)

Needs MOAR pleeeeeze

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)

True^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)

christmas crackers, fireworks or table biscuits?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)

DOES IT MATTER?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)

nothing really matters, to me

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)

It's that kind of shit that tears a marriage apart.
Catface covered the entire cooker in grease yesterday because he fried the bacon at too high a temperature. I told him off because he did the same thing last week, and when I pointed it out then he said "oh sorry, I didn't think". He didn't learn either. *brandishes rolling pin menacingly*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)

The toothpaste comes with a flip-top lid now, so there should be no problems with not replacing the cap
AND STILL SHE LEAVES IT OPEN!!!!!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)

*shakes fist*
Squeezes it in the fucking middle!!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)

Is this something all women do?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)

I think so
See also:

Not putting anything back away in the kitchen. EVER
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)

Leaving knives that you just sharpened on the draining board underneath plates and pans.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Putting knives full of butter on the side
*shakes fist at sky*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)

Clearing up the plates from dinner, carrying them into the kitchen
and then LEAVING THEM ON THE WORKTOP ABOVE THE EMPTY DISHWASHER!!!! FFS!!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Emptying the dishwasher and not drying off the plastic stuff
Just leaving it on the bench
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:48, Reply)

Oh, no I do that all the time.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:53, Reply)

Are we all married to the same woman?
Or are they all shit?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)

I think they are all shit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)

They are not all shit.
You must therefore be married to the same woman. Good luck with that.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)

They can have her

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)

No, we insist you do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Mine squeezes from the middle of the tube.
And that makes it top heavy so you can't stand it up.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)

grill next time, grill is best for crispyness

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)

+ heart attack

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)

grilling is healthier than frying too

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)

Not for Simon Weston

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)

yeah it would
if he'd been grilled instead he'd just have stripey burn marks like a pink zebra
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)

No, fry for longer.
Also, put a lid over the pan, stops the grease going everywhere.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)

i said GRILL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)

That's true.
But it means cleaning the grill pan and I hate that. I want one of those George Foreman lean mean grilling machines.
eman nby, etc.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)

put foil on the grillpan you fuckwit

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)

That would mean remembering to buy foil.
I only have cling film.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)

the fuck is wrong with you?
foil is for cooking, clingfilm is for keeping your sandwiches in your thomas lunchbox
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)

I haven't been to the shops?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)

send a man

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)

CHCB, are you cross with me for being a terrible running spaz and not being able to make it this weekend?
And also for not wanting to enter the ballot for London 2013?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)

YES.
Pain is no barrier to glory, or something.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)

I feel really bad now.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)

I've been watching Game of Thrones all weekend.
You're lucky I don't come over there and declare war on your house. I think we can form a truce though. Besides, those swords look heavy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)

I like that a lot
I have one to catch up on after the Man C v Man U game tonight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)

You should try Breaking Bad, I started watching it this weekend and am already part way through series 2.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)

I shall investigate

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)

I tried that based on a recommendation
and ended up watching all four seasons pretty much back to back in the space of a fortnight. Excellent series.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)

I've just finished Season 1 and the first episode of Season 2 is my evening's viewing, very exciting.
I put off watching it for ages because I thought it was going to be some kind of LARPer shit.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)

Joffrey is delightfully evil
I could punch his smug little face until my hand broker
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)

He's a toerag alright.
Loads of it was filmed near where my parents live so it's quite cool being able to spot locations.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)

You should read the books. They are really good.
Would you like epub versions of them?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Yep, that would broker a truce.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)

They are on their way.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)

WOOP WOOP!
I pardon your transgressions forthwith.

Also, I hope your leg is getting better.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)

My first test run is tonight. A gentle 3 miles with only one trip up Cat Hill.
I think I'll be doing it in the rain, but that's okay, as it means I can try my birthday running raincoat.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:53, Reply)

My mate was running a marathon on Sunday and had to pull out at 19.5 miles with hypothermia

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)

Was it the Milton Keynes marathon?
I would have pulled out with crippling boredom.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)

I'm not sure where he was running
Lives near Manchester
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)

They haven't cleared up all the shit the runners dropped.
I walked past about 100 energy powder packets. Broken Britain.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)

If you were part of the Big Society you'd be out clearing that up.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Health and saftey won't let me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)

What have you done?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Don't put cling film on the pan.
It ruins your bacon.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)

1. wrap each bacon slice in clingfilm
2. grill
3. enjoy carcinogenic bacony plastic goodness
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Lasts longer too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)