Students, pay attention!
If my students put as much effort into revision as they do into attempted plagiarism, procrastination, whinging and deadline evasion then they would probably do rather well in their exams.

(Also, if I put as much effort into my job instead of procrastinating, whinging and deadline evading then I would probably have been promoted by now.)

I would say this though: if you are handing in a report that constitutes the work of an entire term and that counts for 100% of your assessment for that course, using a stapler will probably put the person marking it in a much better mood, and better mood = better marks.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:47, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yes Miss. Whatever you say Miss.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)

You lose marks for calling me Miss.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)

It was purely for selfish reasons.
Sorry, ma'am.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)

I have final year UG students who still call me sir.
this disturbs me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)

haha!
*staples post just to make sure*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Could I also add:
Please don't leave the last 3 pages of a 10 page report out. I find it rather trying when a sentence ends halfway through.

Also, for the love of fuck, if you must copy text from the internet I'm probably going to spot it, but it's really easy if you forget to take the fucking hyperlinks out. OKthanxbye.

PS - wikipedia is not a valid scientific reference source.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Bloody Internet copiers.
I asked them "Is this your own work, did you do this from scratch?"
"Yes, yes, absolutely" they assured me.
"Really, this is completely original and your own work? Because sometimes people forget to reference things correctly and mistakenly include work that isn't their own" I said, looking incredulous and offering them the chance to redeem themselves.
"We wrote it all ourselves" they said.
On being told they were being summoned to a plagiarism hearing they admitted they "had help".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

fucktards, the lot of them.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

your students sound like retards
what are you teaching, how to be a mongo?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

your most
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Is it better to pass or fail that course?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)

if you can't figure it out for yourself i'#ll send you the prospectus

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Ask Quinten, he managed to simultaneously do both!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

:(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:09, Reply)

:(

(Battered., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:14, Reply)

i tried to do the angry eyes sideway v above that quinten, but it didn't work
even when i out the pre tag in

FML
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Your code doesn't do that pre-tag thing.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Depends
I teach Chemical Engineering at UG level. Bioprocessing/therapuetic drug development/downstream processing/stem cell therapies at PG level.

How to be a mongo is optional on any course I teach.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)

PG level?
you teach chimps how to copy things from wikipedia?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Postgraduate.
But, I might as well be teaching chips sometimes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:33, Reply)

chips? fucking CHIPS??? HAHAHAHA you REATARD

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I clicked this.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:38, Reply)

yeah. sticks of potato deep-fried.
What's so hard to understand about that? honestly, Quents, I despair of you sometimes, I really do.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:44, Reply)

i hate it when clever people don't get upset about me pointing out minor errors

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:55, Reply)

This is the potato
to hell
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:47, Reply)

you earlier
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:49, Reply)

hahahahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:50, Reply)