Okay Little Miss Demanding.
*sighs* what are you having for lunch?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 12:59, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

well, it's a good question
i have a rather boozy pub quiz tonight, which will mean no dinner. so i am thinking about waiting until 2pm when it will be a bit quieter, and then wandering over to m&s to stuff my face on the justification of no dinner. but leaving it til 2pm does mean all the good stuff will have been snaffled by the plebs.

you can see my dilemma, darling.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Get Fortnum's to deliver you a hamper to your office instead.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:02, Reply)

i just got selfridges to deliver something to the ex after his op
next day delivery was £12! TWELVE!

i had breakfast at fortnums the other day. their welsh rarebit was £15 but fuck me it was like a big cheesy mustardy orgasm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Fortnum's is ace.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)

god yes
i fucking love it there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)

Aldi is my favourite department store.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:09, Reply)

i fucking HATE aldi
i've only ever been in one, once. that was enough.

as for the cunts that populated the carpark..... pikey pikey cunts!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)

You banged every single one of them, didn't you?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Even the hetro ones.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)

you two can go fist each other
i look forward to the footage at pizzabash
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:16, Reply)

All the orgasms I give are mustardy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)

orgasms diseases

+discharge
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:06, Reply)

That'll teach you to send the fucker presents, then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:20, Reply)

i know
but he has just had an operation.

that doesn't make it ok, does it?

god i'm such a pussy.

hilariously, he genuinely does love pink socks, so one of the things i sent was the new paul smith zebra socks. made me think of you, it did.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Zebras aren't pink, though... ?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

this one is red
the socks are pink (they do other colours) with a tiny red zebra logo and - oh fuck it, here!

www.selfridges.com/en/Menswear/Categories/Socks/Zebra-socks_101-86057480-AFXJ745AF172/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:49, Reply)

that's a fucking expensive pair of socks
says the man who spent £240 on lingerie yesterday.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)

Does it fit you well?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:52, Reply)

badum-tish.
I wouldn't even get fucking close to getting it on.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)

I am out after work so am quaffing shepherds pie, chips and beans.
What a fat cunt, eh readers?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:03, Reply)

you can't have chips with shepherds pie
it already has potato on the top! food fail...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)

The double-carb lardy.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Triple carbs!!! Don't forget the beans.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)

You know NOTHING.
The beans reinstate the chips, you see.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:06, Reply)

in what way is this....
NO. just... NO!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)