It's Saturday. It hasn't started raining (yet) and the sun is shining
What will all of us pasty-faced internet shut-ins do on a bank holiday weekend?
Alt: Any good events going on near you? I've got a beer festival AND a Kit Car show!!
Alt alt: Will you be having a mahoosive meal to celebrate the bank holiday? If so, what?

Have fun
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 5 May 2012, 10:19, 60 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm running a cross-country marathon tomorrow.
Alt: as above
Alt alt: carb loading with pasta.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 5 May 2012, 11:40, Reply)

FUCK, I just bidded on something that has 'collect in person', I didn't see cus they still put it to £2 delivery.
BOLLOCKS
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 12:43, Reply)

Oh good, found out how to retract a bid.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Go on then.
Give me your FA Cup Final predictions.

I know how much you all love sport.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 May 2012, 16:45, Reply)

A team I dislike will win it.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 5 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Alright Al?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 May 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Do you dislike Spurs? 'cus if you did, that would make every single spurs fan so happy that they won't mind you not liking it.
Sounds alright to me, if you had that power, you could flog it. I reckon Alan Sugar would give you a few million for you to dislike spurs. You'd have to really dislike them, like wear a shirt that says "Proud supporter of Arsinal, they are the only true team in north london (except barnet fc)", it wouldn't cost much compared to the few million you would get.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 17:32, Reply)

I reckon some footballers will win
And some other footballers will come second.

I have left the pub to avoid it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 17:30, Reply)

I'm going to the pub
Shortly. I don't care who lifts the cup, as long as football is the winner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 May 2012, 17:50, Reply)

I appear to be watching a bunch of untrained jessies who have obviously wandered into Liverpool's changing room and stolen their jerseys.
There can be no other explanation for how poorly Liverpool are playing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:16, Reply)

Acknowledge your source material - "Roy of The Rovers, 1969."

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:18, Reply)

Oh god, I need right this moment right this minute to buy an iphone.
I HAVE CLINICAL DEPRESSION OR SOMETHING, I CAN USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO GO OVER MY OVER DRAFT EVEN THOUGH IM UNEMPLOYED.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:08, Reply)

Right, seeing as no one is here, if no one can talk me out of buying one in the next 20 minutes, I'll buy it.
That's fair, I've given fait a chance.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:09, Reply)

DON'T DO IT, GONZ!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:15, Reply)

Foiled again!
1 - Do you need it desperately?
2 - How much will you use it?
3 - Can you really afford it (think long term here - think a couple of months down the line with that cost missing from your balance)?
4 - Can you offset the cost slightly by selling whatever it has made redundant?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:16, Reply)

Gonz is the one that's redundant.
He could try selling himself.

EDIT: or, Gonz, you could add 'must give me iphone 4S to be going on with until iphone 5 comes out, at which time you will give me one of them' to your conditions of employment when you talk to new employers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:17, Reply)

I think he'll just buy it anyway b3th.
He's not quite as impetuous as Barry though.

How is 'im indoors shaping up?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:21, Reply)

he's back on his feet, but only just.
The new lot of pills they've got him on has really drained him. In fact, I think he's asleep at the moment. and so is the dog.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:25, Reply)

Hay b3th, what do you think of this that I made last night, the thinggy at the very bottom of the page.
amazedogs.com/stories/jokes/the-dead-duck.htm
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:27, Reply)

Do you mean the share button thing?
It's very good. I like.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:31, Reply)

Yup, the way it jumps up and down.
And you can use the facebook login button to have that "Read [article] on amazedogs" thinggy. It won't show up 'till I go through Facebook's approval process, which can take a week.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:35, Reply)

I'm afraid l find it a bit intrusive.
It's a site about dogs but the thing that jumps out is facebook.

The site is shaping up nicely though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:39, Reply)

Cheers =)
Out of interest, do you know what screen resolution you're using? It's quite common to have percistant social bars (thats what they're called), and this hides most of it until you initiate the Call To Action (roll-over).

The thing is though, websites are nearly always portrate and screens are nearly always landscape, hence the vertical scrolling... and these bars are normally on the side of the page.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:46, Reply)

No - IT is not my strong point.
Sales is my strong point. You have a gaz.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:59, Reply)

Why the fuck did i just go and check MY gazbox?
*belms*
I am a flid.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 19:10, Reply)

If you would feel better for a gaz I can send you one of my cock.
Although you'd need a very high definition screen to make it out. Or possibly a high powered telescope.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 19:17, Reply)

You both have one =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 19:34, Reply)

That's good and bad news then
Hopefully the pills will be effective.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:37, Reply)

Sorry, that was rude, I didn't even read your post.
I've spent most of today in an opiate induced sleep, I soooo needed it though. If it helps, when he's asleep, he's in peace.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:47, Reply)

HMMMMMM
1 - Yes... Ish. My phone has 'water damage', it works perfectly fine but I can't sale it. This means I'll be without a phone for 10 days while they replace it.
2 - 4 hours a day. Approx.
3 - Wages will be going up 50% once I accept a job, approx. I'll be getting 13 months pay this year.
4 - I'd get £200 for my old phone, and I'd have to spend £380 for the new phone. So that is £180 out my pocket... plus I'd get a £250 when I eventually go to sale it. But I would have to initally spend that £380, get £200 for the old phone in about 3 week's time when they replace it, and then I'd get the £250 that I could sale the iPhone for when I upgrade to the '5' model in october.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:24, Reply)

Plus with my clinical depression, my accidental £20 on just 3 slices of cheese just doesn't quite cut it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:26, Reply)

Go on, I'll bite.
How do you accidentally spend £20 on cheese?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:27, Reply)

It's _really_ good cheese though !
/actually a real autocomplete =S
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:28, Reply)

You're quite thriftfull*, aren't you? How do you do it?
Don't you ever find you ever get "Fuck it, I'll have what I want, when I want it, right now" ?

* I'm sure this is a possitive word, although I get it might not be. I mean it to mean, being able to stretch your money, rather than being a tight.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:30, Reply)

I think the word you're looking for is thrifty
and I'm not, particularly. I've just been in montyesque levels of poverty in the past, and had someone pull me out of it, and I've now learned that 'like' and 'want' are two separate things.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:33, Reply)

Yeah', I really wish I had learnt that lesson.
My attitude is that if I want something, and there is a way of having that something I want, and it doesn't mean I go without something else, then I'll have it. It's a shitty attitude that has gotten me into trouble many times 'cus I don't quite see the "without something else" part until later down the road. Plus I replace social events with things that come in styrophome.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:40, Reply)

I never have the option of the social events
but I've managed, recently, to dial back on the things taht I used to buy on impulse. And I don't tend to go shopping anywhere near as often as I used to. That generally helps.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:51, Reply)

the former club of our technically current manager
Is losing to the current club of our former manager. This pleases me.

In other news, I just sold my car to a guy with the same surname as me. We decided we were probably related.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:28, Reply)

I'm off for a meal with just me and my G/F for the first time in months
It's nice to have a meal just with aduts for a change, much as I love my (sort of) stepdaughter. the restaurant we're going to has an excellent menu and I'm already hungry. SO - fish or steak?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:36, Reply)

That depends.
Are you a man?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:39, Reply)

I am a man
However, I eat steak at least 3 times a week at home so - fish or steak?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:46, Reply)

If you're hungry, steak.
If not, fish.
If someone else is paying, lobster.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 May 2012, 18:52, Reply)

I'm paying
But, the rules are whenever we go out, if it's on the menu, it's available to eat. I don't see the point of going somewhere where you can't afford half of the things on the menu. If you're going out for a meal, eat what you want.
This does, however, mean that you have to pick your restaurant to suit your budget but tonight, as it's just me and my lovely G/F, it's money no object.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:59, Reply)

Good old Brewers Fayre then.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 19:14, Reply)

Wetherspoons.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 May 2012, 19:19, Reply)

I had a Wetherspoons "meal" a couple of months ago - we were hungry and in a hurry
My mate got some sort of lasagne which was irrevocably bonded to his plate.

I had a toasted sandwich with scorched mould on it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 5 May 2012, 19:26, Reply)

Just got back in
Excellent meal! Mussels with tomato chilli and coriander to start, pork loin wrapped in serrano ham with shredded apple with all the trimmings and a phenomenal lemon tart $ raspberry sorbet to finish. She had the house pate & tomato bread, poached smoked haddock & she skipped pudding for a cointreau coffee and a very small flapjack made with molasses and lavender.
Fan frickin tastic!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 5 May 2012, 23:41, Reply)

Date night
For the first time since our daughter was born I am taking Mrs Battered out for a meal & leaving our daughter with a babysitter. Looking forward to good food etc. slightly concerned about leaving the baby, even more concerned about what's me & the missus are going to talk about - not used to not talking about the baby, domestic stuff, work, the decorating etc.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 5 May 2012, 19:10, Reply)

You'll talk about the baby.
Then you'll talk about how different life is now. Then you'll wonder if you should text the babysitter. Then you'll say "we should do this more often", and then you'll talk again about how different life is now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 5 May 2012, 21:05, Reply)

^ This
I have no idea what we used to talk about in the before-time.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 5 May 2012, 21:34, Reply)

Are you getting mellonconny about the maridge? Do you reckon its worth holding out for an affair? I donno, I guess I could put out while you're still with him, just to make it fair. Do you have a sister, in that respect?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 May 2012, 22:57, Reply)

Went to town, got a ton of food, bought some trainers from End Clothing.
Just bought a jacket. Staying in tonight I think, tomorrow we're going o a bar/pub crawl all afternoon.
I've also decided that I'm going to throw the next person I see in a stupid snapnack hat in the Tyne.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 5 May 2012, 20:32, Reply)

Barry in "buying a jacket" shocker. Internet implodes.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 5 May 2012, 21:29, Reply)

Only 89 Euros.
A very good deal indeed.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 5 May 2012, 22:09, Reply)

I'm on my way home
Bristol is rammed with stag and hen weekends. It was no fun, so I'm heading back. Am I getting old/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 May 2012, 22:29, Reply)

I walked through Bigg Market this afternoon (have to go to get to End Clothing unfortunately)
At maybe 4:30pm. There was already a guy dressed as a giant beer bottle lying down out cold on the pavement outside City Vaults. Was bare jokes.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 6 May 2012, 0:00, Reply)

Alright Baz.
Do you still LOVE football?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 May 2012, 0:18, Reply)

It's not bad.
Two of my housemates support Chelsea. To say they barely celebrated at full time today is an understatement. If it was Fulham I'd still be out now and wouldn't be home until about next Thursday. It's not fair, I LOVE football far less because of stuff like this.
If we finish above Liverpool I'll certainly LOVE it a lot more.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 6 May 2012, 0:24, Reply)

Had a last meal in The Shakespeare
Moving tomorrow. Probably going to bed in a bit - a week of 5:45 starts has given me the bedtime of a ten-year-old.

But as long as she keeps quiet I won't kill her mummy. *unzips*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 5 May 2012, 23:00, Reply)

Beer Festival
Day 3 and the sun is shining, all is well in Long Itchington!
(nikg33 waiting for the weekend, Sun 6 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)