When little tangle was in reception at school they learned the song English Country Garden
I was amazed to discover that it had proper lyrics listing various types of flower and contained absolutely no advice on the protocol should one ever find oneself needing to defecate whilst visiting such a place.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 May 2012, 10:59, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Also, I'm starting to wonder if the ants really would suffocate.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:00, Reply)

It's PARALYSE the ants. FFS.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:02, Reply)

There are no definitive versions in folk song

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:04, Reply)

also rolling bogies into a ball and flicking them at walls is no longer acceptable, it seems.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)

It's FERTALIZE the PLANTS

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)

not fertilise?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 May 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Can't make up my mind.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Oh my god! I can't cope with any further regional variations!
This one does seem to make the most sense though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)

It's Terrorise

( Peej, Thu 10 May 2012, 11:35, Reply)