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rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Forget footballtwo guys are having a meeting next to my desk and one of them just said "I've been trying to solutionise this..."
I think you mean SOLVE you cockend. How should he be punished?
Alt: What business-speak / grammar fail gets your goat?
AltAlt: I'm actually really interested in what you're having for lunch, honest.
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:46,
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altaltwe have a stunning roof terrace here, so we are all heading up there for lunch in about 3 mins. hoorah!
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rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:48,
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I have a HAM SALAD with olives, lettuce, mayo all that shit.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:49,
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sweetcorn, beetroot, tomato, yellow peppers(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50,
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Just mayonnaise.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:51,
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shredded white cabbage(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:52,
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I don't actually like salad dressings.As I've grown older, vinegar repulses me.
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Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53,
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I don't really like chips either.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:00,
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Mine hadsweet chili hummous, mature cheddar, cucumber, lettuce, smoked ham, spinach, salami, branston pickle.
I tried to work out how much cheaper my homemade sandwich was than one from Boots but gave up as it was depressing. Then I factored in the cost of my time and felt better about it.
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53,
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He should be tied to a chair and slowly beaten to deathwith a hardback copy of the OED.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)
My LunchAlt brings all the fatties to the thread(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50,
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Many irk me, but "Blue Sky Thinking" really irks me.The best I have ever heard was "Let's shove this up the duck and see how it quacks." I'm not sure what it meant, but I liked the creativity of it.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53,
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They were talking about your hot wife at the time.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:57,
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Hey DiT! Hey! Over here DiT! Over Here!Are we going to watch the terrible David Haye vs Derek Chisora fight round at your house in July?
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:58,
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Fuck no.Everything about that fight is horrible. The only decent outcome is that they both spontaneously combust and burn to death.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:00,
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You and your wife should come to my house for dinner some time, though.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:01,
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That's an excellent suggestion.I will take you up
...
...
on that offer.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:03,
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Do you want to get beer this evening?Maybe something to eat, a few candles and then...
NO! It's not a girl, it's al, it's not a girl, it's al.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:04,
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I would, really I would, only I'm meeting tangles for a pint and some live music.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:08,
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You filthy tart.Stop trying to steal him away from me. I have enough trouble with his wife.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21,
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Thank you.See, Al, THAT'S what nice people are like!
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21,
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Seeing as you live in 'Yabby Creek', I'm afraid it is.Soz.
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Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23,
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I can't make you do anything, Poppet.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:26,
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I made her cry once.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:29,
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YESSSSSSSSSS(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:30,
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You're such an awful person, taking enjoyment out of my PAIN and MISERY.(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)
You should get your own back on him by making some friendsthen you could rub it in his face.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:36,
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Take yourself down to the Union Bar and get one!You say "Hi Bruce."
They will say "Hi Sheila!"
Then you will all drink beers and talk about Koalas.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24,
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We don't have a union bar. There are union clubs, but no union bars. And I don't like clubs.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Then they'll hop into a 'Ute' and go to the beach(or to murder English hikers on the motorway)
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Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:26,
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Alt:Using fail as a suffix.
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tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53,
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*deletes account and kills self*(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:54,
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'fail' fail.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:57,
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Defenestration sounds like an appropriate and mild punishmentsorry I meant a solutionised approach to making savings for the firm.
Alt Alt: Chicken.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:09,
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Hi AmberlHow are you?
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:15,
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Not bad thanks, yourself?I've been in Ireland looking after siblings while mother gallivanted off.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:18,
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Shocking behaviourwas she doing the wild thing with strangers in alleys?
I'm pretty good thanks, looking forward to Donnington, shame you can't make it. Have you got a job yet?
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:20,
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Off to a wedding in Polandso I assume and hope not. Yeah it's a shame about Donnington wish I could make it. I don't have a job :( but my brother phoned up yesterday boasting about having two the bastard.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23,
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Alright thankshow are you?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23,
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Glad to hear it!Been up to anything fun?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:40,
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I heard 'Operationalise' only yesterday(
Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:11,
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I was asked to 'action' something this very morning.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:14,
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I like 'Incentivise'(
Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:18,
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It's not office jargon, but when my boss's wife asks if he's going to 'come with' I want to cry.Can you really not spare the time to say 'me' at the end of that?
You 'mutton' WHORE?
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Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21,
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I get a proper knickers in a twistabout diarise, really fucking pisses me off.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I wouldn't watch that Indiana Jones film with Sean Connery in it, then.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:19,
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^ I'm certain this is the best post I've ever made.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21,
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I can smell your jealousy from here.At least I hope that's what that smell is.
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Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24,
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The popular page is broken again.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:31,
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Steak sandwich with chips and a pint of Doom BarI love the pub on a sunny day, but it's bloody blustery.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Awesome alliteration, anus-breath!(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:25,
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We'll call this one a collaborative effort.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:27,
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Errr, a man?(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:37,
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The feeling of my stubble on her butt cheeks reminds her of her 'partner'(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:39, Reply)
No, and no.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:53,
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The grammar of raising the last sylabble up slightly, as if it's a semi-question.Or Australian, very annoying. It's pretentious, annoying and not very clever.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)
That is called 'AQI'(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:28,
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I stuck AQI into Google, and got this...sounds about right.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Qaeda_in_Iraq
Always wondered whom was behind bad soap operas.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Australian Quizzical Intonation, bruv.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:34,
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Did you just throw up mid-post?(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:52,
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I have to say I find the slightly more parochial Australian accent intensely irritating.A lot of you sound lovely, but it's the ones with the nasal twang who sound permanently surprised at everything that comes out of their mouths that really grates on my ears.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:59,
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I fully admit that I occasionally do it, but it's usually only when I'm thinking.And I don't, to my knowledge, have a nasal twang. That's a Queenslander specialty.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I have heard many a New South Walesian speaking like that.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:03,
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Isnt it something to do withThe younger generations having a poor education and therefore not having the confidence to make a statement and therefore going up at the end of the sentence means that they dont have to stand by the statement.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Eh? I think it's just to do with where you're from. School is compulsory until you're 16 - and from then until you're 18 you either have to be at TAFE (technical college), in an apprenticeship or at highschool. S'nothing to do with your education.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
I was being disparaging about the YOUTH of todaybut it was a theory that someone came up with, by poor education I dont think they were refering to the actual qualifications but that schooling now is often about passing the exam as opposed to a wider preperation to adult life.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Well them too. And the South Australians. And the Western Australians. Seems to be only Victorians and Tasmainians and ACT'ans who don't generally have the twang.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:06, Reply)
The ACT'ans are too busy watching porn and visiting sex shops to question anything.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:10,
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I read that as'We don't do it on purpose? You know?'
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Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:09,
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I've just had the most dissapointing orange ever.It was all dry and rubbish. Like DiT's mum.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:28,
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Like satsumas in January.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:30,
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I think the smartie machine provides more now it's nearly empty than it used to when it was full.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:35,
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:50,
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isn't it smarty? like a smartypants?doesn't make sense to me as 1 smartie, many smarties
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:54,
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Is prebriefing a realy word?(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:57,
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preb - an element-binding proteinriefing - a sailing manouever
yeah, i guess so
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Oh shitI've been using it in completely the wrong context.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:02,
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:11,
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Surely solutionise meansmake into a solution, a solution being a liquid with something dissolved in it, so clearly he was off for a wank?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
My company has 'behaviour ambassadors' and 'value champions' and other such life-draining pishAnyone using these kind of expressions in anything other than an ironic manner near me or my colleagues receives withering stares and raised digits in return.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)
staked out over a patch of bamboo.alt: yesterday, someone, with a straight face, suggested we have a 'washup' with the 'stakeholders' to avoid the document disappearing into the 'ADMINISPHERE'
if i'd had my fucking honda accord, i tell you, it would have been a fucking bloodbath. organs all over the shop. wave after wave of massive-drugs-crazed supermodels minced like sausagemeat. nothing left. total, all-out destruction of the species from the ground up.
altalt: fucked the gym and my usual protein turdshake off so i could work through lunch and sod off early. ate a shitwich and some fruit from tescos. probably for the best. protein shakes give you a secondary workout when they leave the system, i've been dropping bricks all week.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
tracey was just saying she wears a kids size chelsea shirt for 11 year oldsand everyone was amazed that it would fit her and i said that its probably because kids are so fat these days
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:16, Reply)
Is Tracey malformed in some way?(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:18,
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No, it's because the kids are really near, the shirts just appear large.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:18,
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As long as no ukeleles were harmed, I'm ok(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:19,
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You do realise that unless you are a professional athlete a protein shake is about as useful as Monty's drenis?And even if you are a professional athlete, very few of them actually bother with them, preferring instead to get their protein in the regular way, via food.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:17,
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He might be a professional athlete(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:20,
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That's why I added the second bit.If you'd read my answer fully you wouldn't have made your stupid comment.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:22,
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Beer is why I made my stupid commentI regret nothing
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:24,
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Yes I didgo and find the answer yourself.
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:23,
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i had a search and found a message where you asked about his dribbling penisi think druggled i better
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Oh FFS you witless spastic.www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1625266
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Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:25,
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yeah i went back to poppet's thread and saw thatdruggled i better
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Druggled is also a portmaneu.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28,
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The Prisoner was filmed there(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:32,
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I AM NOT A NUMBERThat one. Big fuck-off beachballs
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:36,
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Hahahahah(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:38,
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Start a new thread or somethingThis one sucks goats off
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:40,
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It's like horse manure only burgundy in colour.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:41,
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Cheese and colesaw sandwiches and a lie down in the park.I think I've caught the sun, I feel a little dizzy now.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:15, Reply)
Cheese and pickle baguetteand three pints of Amstel down the Quayside
Get the fuck in
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:17,
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I fucking love it when you've been drinking.(
Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:21,
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\o/So do I
Marvellous down next to the river. Only trouble was, I had to return
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:23,
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I found booze.but it's sweet booze and I have nothing to mix it with. And I'm too classy to drink it straight from the bottle.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)
I have a choice of either Bailey's or McAlisters WhiskyNo ice. No milk. Nothing to mix it with.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Not in my building.and I don't really feel like scraping off the build up off the inside of the freezer.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)
FFSYou aren't trying here
Shove the bottle in the freezer for 20 mins
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:30,
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Not since my monthly shower, no(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31,
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No. I have bread, two apples, two bananas, and half a dozen muesli bars. and a couple of tins of soup. This has to last until wednesday next week.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)
fucking fruit salad baileyswhy do i have to think all of this up for you?
chop the fruit, pour on some baileys like it's cream, job's a goodun
you owe me £75 consultation fee
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)
if you can unbolt it and break the chains holding it to the wall, you're welcome to it.(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)
thanks, i'll have that to cover some of the flight costs and admin charges(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Man up poppet.Get hammered and entertain us with drunken posting while we're all at work.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Put it in a glass first then.(
Bazongaloid Superfly SUMMER SOLSTICE with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:25,
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you are like a siamese twinwhose brother got the brains and the looks
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Altalt:Turkey salad sandwich, an orange and some grapes.Followed by a Calipo.
Alt: "I'll ask the question" rather than "I'll ask our supplier if he can do that" (or similar) irritates me. I think it's because an old boss used it constantly and she was a prune-faced harridan who stank like a manky fag-end stubbed out in a pile of woe.
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Bill Clay Hey Whitey, where's your hat?, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:32,
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