QUOTES.
I have a theory that all quotes are either Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde or Winston Churchill. It's perhaps not the soundest of my theories, but there you go.

Just to immediately undermine this theory, my brother has got me onto a great new character called Carl Panzram. He's excellent, look him up. He's not just a 'doer' either, but a source of some absolutely hilarious quotes. My favourite so far is:

'I have no desire whatever to reform myself. My only desire is to reform people who try to reform me, and I believe the only way to reform people is to kill 'em. My motto is: Rob 'em all, rape 'em all, and kill 'em all.'

Do you have a favourite quote or indeed several? In which case what are they, and what appeals to you about it/them?

Alt: "I wish you all had one neck and I had my hands on it." Bit more Panzram for you there.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:29, Reply)

be just, and if you can't be just, be arbitrary
What's moonlighting?
The better you look, the more you see.
(DOZERTRON! Baseball!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:44, Reply)

OK, now I'm assuming these are quotes.
How about identifying them and explaining their appeal?

Your reply is like those QOTW spastics who post

'Roast chicken. Nuff said'
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:46, Reply)

the first is William Burroughs.
What appeals is its inherent fairness. I'm very much a fair-minded man.

Second is from film. I am really into film.

Last one is how I live my life. It's from literature. I'm really into literature.
(DOZERTRON! Baseball!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Mine is 'the taller you are, the more you see'
Bit more factually accurate, I think.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)

Not true.

( Battered I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)

How would you know?

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Step ladders.

( Battered I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

'YOU'RE NOT MY REAL LADDER!'

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Copyright Mike Yarwood. 1977.

( Battered I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

He sounds like a bit of a wanker.
I hope he deletes his account and kills himself.
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:47, Reply)

"I made up my mind that I would rob, burn, destroy, and kill
everywhere I went and everybody I could as long as I lived."

He was way cool, man.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:48, Reply)

Still sounds like a wanker.
Is this a real person?
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:50, Reply)

He was a serial killer.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:52, Reply)

So, a very big wanker, then.
Cool.
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:52, Reply)

he was no Ted Bundy.

(DOZERTRON! Baseball!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Richard Chase is the best.
'the vampire of Sacramento'
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

When I was young I discovered a book of Russian proverbs at my parents' house.
This has long been a source of choice quotations for me.
One of my favourites has always been:
Beat your wife with the butt end of an axe. If she falls to the floor and cries, she is fooling you. Give her some more.

Coincidentally I changed my sig from a Larkin quote to one from Humphry Osmond only this morning, but I couldn't fit the whole quotation in.

Alt: From Panzram's wikipedia page: "In my lifetime I have murdered 21 human beings, I have committed thousands of burglaries, robberies, larcenies, arsons and, last but not least, I have committed sodomy on more than 1,000 male human beings. For all these things I am not in the least bit sorry." I can see why you identify with him.
( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:49, Reply)

I'm still getting "wanker".

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:52, Reply)

A little bit of one, perhaps.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

I have that effect on people.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

He's referring to a specialist magazine he subscribes to.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)

You have your lol head on today

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Shit yeah.
Every day's a LOL day in the wacky world of Montezuma Boyce.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Lolling all the way to the bank.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Then crying all the way home

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

:o(

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Me too.

(Misery McUglywife a thin-skinned troll., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:55, Reply)

Good news: I got my new router to work!
Bad news: it has made no difference to the signal strength.

I hate technology
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Oak flooring blocks wireless signals
Sorry to be the bearer, etc.....
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I can't tell if you're being serious or not.
/ac
(Poppet Now in new, Lean Mean Fighting Machine form!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Stone walls do too.

(DOZERTRON! Baseball!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Your favourite organisation.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

lolz

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I don't know that quote.
Sounds a bit shit IMHO.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

Go for these
www.ebuyer.com/185148-zyxel-pla-401-v4-200mbps-powerline-adapter-twin-pack-91-014-051019b
(PsychoChomp I want to more creative in a buisness kinda way., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Or get a high gain receiver.

(PsychoChomp I want to more creative in a buisness kinda way., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

It is easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission
Dunno who said that, probably not Churchill but could easily be one of the other two. I tend to treat my job this way.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

job sex life.

Did you get it? It's a joke about rape! Hahahahahaha.
( Battered I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

"For Fucks Sake" - sportscow
I use this quote at least 20 times a day
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I wish I was a spanish WWF wrestler so I can say "It's time kick ass and eat tapas, and I'm all out of tapas".

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I wish I was a polyneeesyan boweling superstar, os I can say "It's time to knock of 10 pins and eat some tenpinyaki... and the grill isn't warmed up yet".

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)

I wish I was a chinese mathmitition so I can say "It's time get a Cantoneese A with a Number 25 mains, and I can't find them menu".

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space
IT'S NOT THAT LIFE'S TOO SHORT, IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE DEAD FOR SO LONG

IT TAKES A BIG MAN TO CRY, EVEN A BIGGER MAN TO MAKE HIM CRY

LIVING IS THE ONLY THING WORTH DYING FOR…

LIFE IS JUST SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME...(AND THE CLOCK IS TICKING...)

SECOND PLACE IS THE FIRST LOSER
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

LETS GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLE

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)

These sound like quotations from some shit business motivation course you've been on for work.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Do you remeber the surf brand "No Fear"?

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Surfing never really took off here in the midlands.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:09, Reply)

No, soz.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:17, Reply)

This^
Our staff conference is tomorrow - I expect to hear at least one of them
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

The most factual quote I have seen over the last few months was 'I'm just a fucking idiot' by M Boyce esq.

( Battered I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)

that doesn't sound like a very grown up attitude AT ALL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Come on Quentin, bring a bit of order to this place with some sensible quotations.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

"quotations are shit"
"if your life is so dull you have to live by or use someone else's words, you're a dick"
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Top advice there
I'm going to live my life by those words.
( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:15, Reply)

i just read about Carl Panzram
turns out he raped 1000 men, i think monty is trying to tell us something
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Sometimes I wonder if you are paying any attention at all to my posts, Quents.

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

there's something sticky on my shoe
i'm not sure what it is, could be gum

:/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

(c) Marc Almond, 1985

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Something about one match

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

I'm trying to tell you that I've raped 1000 men.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

tenpole tudor's less successful...

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Actual lol

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Shoddy
My joke was first
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)

what joke?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Something about one match

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)

i don't "get it"

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)

That's 'coz you is ugly and you stink like a dead horse

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I didn't, and still don't, "get" "it"
I'm "afraid".
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)

One match to bum a thousand men

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)

i'm still lost

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Stereophonics
A thousand trees.

"only takes one tree, to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees"

By virtue of a lack of competition, easily the best song ever written about Welsh peadophile PE teachers.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

His unbridled admiration for arse banditry knows no bounds.

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Did I ever tell you how much I admire you, Dav?

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Frequently, that's why I took out that restraining order.

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

As a kid, Monty was impressed by the school bully who repeatedly didn't hand in his homework.
This is just a natural extension of that glowing admiration for "the wrong sort".
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)

i'm starting to think he has a point
i suddenly want to rob, rape, and kill you
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

+Up +un

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Are we back doing school reports again?
"If Boyce Minor paid as much attention to his studies as he does to the other boys, he would achieve so much more. Etc."
( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)

No, we're not.

Hope this helps

x
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Immensely
I couldn't stand another round of them.

Many thanks

x
( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I like to quote almost anything from Monty Python
"We are the knights who say ni." is a good one.

So is "Nudge nudge."
( Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

i watched life of brian with my gf the other night
i had no idea she had it on DVD, it was loller than I remembered and only about 10% shit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)

That's a good score.

( Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

i liked it when i was a student but when i grew up i thought it was just for students and wankers
but i chuckled a few times, well done Monty Python
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

There's a film about him.

(PsychoChomp I want to more creative in a buisness kinda way., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Excellent news.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)

James Woods plays him.

(PsychoChomp I want to more creative in a buisness kinda way., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)

The dullard off QOTW?

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)

The character from Family Guy

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

no no its that golf guy who did all those women

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Adam Sandler?

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)

i'm pretty sure if adam had a handler he wouldn't be so shit on the internet

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)

"It's at times like these that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was younger".

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen".
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

(c) Peter Kay 2008

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Douglas Adams, 1978 akshully.

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Ah, so not quite as funny as Peter Kay, then.
Damned by faint praise, here.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:29, Reply)

'Member Peter Kay?

( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

He certainly is a 'member'.
Ho ho ho.
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:24, Reply)

'Member you're a Womble?'

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:30, Reply)

AGHHHH GRIM GRIM GRIM MOUTH FULL OF CIERAL MADE IWTH OFF MILK AGHHH SICK SICK

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

This is definitely a Churchill one.

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Oh, no no no no no

(Benny Blanco From The Bronx Naw, you stay here, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

ah shakespeare, beautiful isn't it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:27, Reply)

I like loads but won't risk sounding like a wanker by quoting them.
okay, just the one.
when max schmeling had a heart attack in vegas he was asked if he'd like to see the house doctor. No, he replied, I'd rather see the people doctor. LOLOLOLOL!
those were his last words.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Sorry, I'm afraid you still sound like a wanker.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)

LOLOLOLOL!
you fell into my trap! I wanted to find out who the biggest prick on here was by leaving such an obvious gag open.
I'm glad it was you monty.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

xxxxxx

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

"He's excellent"
Carl Panzram (June 28, 1891 – September 5, 1930) was an American serial killer, rapist, arsonist and burglar. He is known for his confession to prison guard and only friend, Henry Lesser.
He sounds a stand up bloke Monty. But at least he had one friend. Even if it was a screw.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:27, Reply)

"Those curtains are hideous; one of us will have to go"
As far as last words go, you could do worse. Not that you'd give a shit.

Morning all.
(Darth Foxtrot so now I'm giving up, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)

it's not just monty, nobody gives a shit what you say or do ever.
LOL! nah, you're alright you are.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Not hugely quotable, but this letter cracked me up.
www.lettersofnote.com/2012/06/oh-christ-cook-is-dead.html
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I'm quite fond of a few of Oppenheimer's
"It is perfectly obvious that the whole world is going to hell. The only possible chance that it might not is that we do not attempt to prevent it from doing so" is as good a mantra now as it was 50 years ago.

There's also another something along the lines of "it is the profoundest truth that a scientist cannot keep that which he knows to be true from the world simply because of fear of what the world will do with it"

which coming from the bloke who invented the atomic bomb, is pretty relevant.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)

SRS ANSWER IS SRS

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

fuck, I know, it's sad isn't it?
I also have an anonymous quote on my office door "If you torture data enough, it will confess to anything"

I really am very sad.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)

"Y'know, your head would look really good done in clay.
For about four hours over a slow fire."
(Captain Placid Good at something, not doing it for free, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Hello?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)

'Don't just look at it, eat it'

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Suck it!

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)

this always cracked me up
"To call Dr Harold Shipman 'Britain's worst serial killer' is utter nonsense. With more confirmed kills to his name than any other UK-based murderer, surely Dr. Shipman is 'Britain's best serial killer'."
(Captain Placid Good at something, not doing it for free, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

hahaha!
Gold medal
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Viz letters page.

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)

"give a man fire, and he's warm for the night"
"set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life"
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Hello Monty.
I don't admire all that many people, really. The ones I do admire, I don't admire for intelligence, or erudition, or wordplay. I admire them for balls-out manliness.

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing”

“The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything.”

The above are from Teddy Roosevelt, a man who rode a moose across a river and delivered a speech with an untreated gunshot wound in his chest.
( Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

"The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, but if you hop on over you'll still find it's covered in dog shit".

Me, to my ex wife when we split up. I was right, an' all.
( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)

She should never have moved to Battersea.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Badum.

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game they lose."
"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won’t lay any eggs in the basket."

"Steve Hodge has been unfit for two weeks, well, no, for 14 days."

"He’s got his legs back, of course, or his leg – he’s always had one but now he’s got two."

"I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football."
(Benny Blanco From The Bronx Naw, you stay here, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)