i'm going to see a good band tonight
in laaahndon.
what's the last band you saw that surprised you?

alt: when did you last turn up to work with sod-all sleep, still drunk, and have a horrible sweaty mare of a day? i'll answer this in about 17 hours time.

altalt: give me your best response to the time honoured neanderthal chatup line/ weak preamble to fisticuffs'what are you looking at?'
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:22, Reply)

Entombed, for me.
Their first track of the set was poor, the second was absolutely excellent.

Alt: Monday, minus the booze.

Alt Alt: "You, fuck face."
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:26, Reply)

i think i saw them at hammerfest maybe?
i was cunted.biggest surprise for me was probably Sylosis. saw em when i ducked out of the rain into a tent at sonisphere, they absolutely fucking tore the place apart.
possible most spine tingling solo ever at about the 4 minute mark:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdZD_EfCll0
tonight is Sacred Mother Tongue, who you might like if you're a metalhead:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4Mm4jjd5dk
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

sneaky hiderson and the jump out and boo's
alt never, i'm a reposnible adult who does not abuse alcohol

altalt "you mate, now fuck off"
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Less than Jake when I was a teenager,
I'd never heard of them before.
Dizzie Rascal I assumed would be a bit shit, but he was excellent.
Imelda May, Applebite insisted I see her, and she was fucking awesome.
(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:34, Reply)

She's excellent isn't she?
Also,'would'.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)

She winked at me as I was taking a photo of her.
But it didn't come out, stupid light show.
(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Light show pricks.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

Alt: last Thursday *shudders*

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)

just think how much worse it would have been if barry hadn't have stolen your bacaine
he did you a favour
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

One day I'll learn to thank him.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

I'm loving the bacaine

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:44, Reply)

it's a recipe we need to come up with
could somebody attend a bash and steal some of stunned's coke please? and pick up some bacon too
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

I'm on this.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

let us know how it goes
i bet it's tingly
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

WATCH THIS FACE

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

No thanks. Unless I need an emetic.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

The doctor from Back to the Future?

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

I'd steal some of Stunned's coke
except he'd probably be reasonable about it and tell me he wasn't angry, just very disappointed and I'd feel way worse than if he'd just put me across his knee and smacked my bottom.
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

... which was what you really wanted all along
you disgust me.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

altalt. .
The time honoured response at our school was
"I don't know, they don't label shit."

Fisticuffs usually followed, of course.
(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

cuffs ng

You chutney bastard, Lokers.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

rough school
any uphill gardeners would have been thoroughly and frequently beaten up.
(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Ours used to be
"I don't know, the label dropped off"
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Alt alt: 'A bent pikey, now jog on you prick'.
(I have of course never ACTUALLY said this)
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

a guy angrily asked me if i was eyeing up his girlfriend once
and i said 'yes, she's very good looking'
and he thanked me, saying that he felt very lucky to have her, and turned to leave.

I felt put out by him not shaking my hand, so i broke a bottle of banana bread beer over his shoulder and slit his throat, and steven seagal punched me in the face, so i got mister T to throw him through the saloon window
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Needs moar biscuit lies.

( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

mister T is a chocolate finger i've crossed with another chocolate finger

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Cool
That works, 'cause that was the only bit I didn't believe.
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

haha i made it all up!
YOU IDIOT!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Oh man!
Is my face red, or what?
Good one Quent.
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

i can't believe you fell for it
i was all like 'no way' but then you did
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:02, Reply)

lol psychochomp lol
www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/jul/05/sex-workers-police-rapist-database
/before anyone else does it.
(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

when will they leave rapists alone? :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

The most surprising gig I've ever seen
Was Krautrock legends Faust.
Not for the music, which was as excellent as I expected it to be.
But for the moment when the singer came down into the audience wielding a chainsaw.
No, surprised isn't the word.
Terrified, that's it.
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Biffy Clyro. Also Seth Lakeman.
Alt: never.

Alt alt: 'Is sir addressing me or is he masticating on a house brick? Because either way sir loses his fucking teeth.' (c) Raffles the gentleman thug.
( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Most surprising gig:
Psychic TV, Harlesden Mean Fiddler, c1989.

I was not prepared for the large numbers of naked men with knob piercings dancing about. The whole thing was v v religious cult-y and I was rather scared. I got soaked to the skin waiting for a bus afterwards, then missed the last train and had to catch the milk train to Winchester at about 4am. Got home, got changed, went to school.

In hindsight it was an excellent gig, despite all the penises.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

CombiChrist surprised me by not playing several of their best tracks
The last band to surprise me in a positive way must have been Aesthetic Perfection, who put a very brave and (possibly artificially stimulated) enthusiastic face on playing to a crowd who obviously had no idea who they were and weren't yet drunk enough to feign a shit-giving.
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Alt: The day after general election night, 2001. June 7th I think it was.
Been wandering around London all night consoling drunken Tories. Because I missed the last train back after a gig at Wembley Arena. Thank god for ecstasy, eh?
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Bellowhead
I'd not heard of them before and just went as I was at a gig. It was the most fun ever, dancing and jumping around the place with a bunch of strangers-who-are-suddenly-friends
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

They're shit.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

shocking response

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

I'm a fucking enigma, me.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Enigma were fucking shit too.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:17, Reply)

How dare you?
They're my favourite ethno-dance/pop act by a long chalk.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

but not by a long Chalky
Nick-Nicklolz
( JeffTheDogFucker, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:23, Reply)

Ello dare mon.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:24, Reply)

He was no Algenon

( JeffTheDogFucker, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:27, Reply)

NOOOOOOO WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:41, Reply)

I had the misfortune to see part of Jim Davison's 'adult' panto Sinderella on TV a couple of years ago. Nearly cost me a grand to replace a 36" Sony TV as a result of the violence I felt.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:41, Reply)

Life sized image lolz

( JeffTheDogFucker, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:42, Reply)

its the lack of penises
he hates gigs with no penises on display
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

I'm all about the cock-gigs.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

Monty Boyce, the Imogen Thomas of B3ta

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

I'm sure this is v funny.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

she's the one who sucked off ryan giggs

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:15, Reply)

You'd have loved the CC gig* then
Whilst I had no interest in taking part in the moshpit happening immediately to my right throughout the gig (Too old for that shit /FILM), the spirit of such a violence-fest has always impressed me, but there was one COMPLETE cock who just wanted to hit people. He was also good enough to fall on me when I took a tumble, and shoved a girl my way so hard that she headbutted me and split my eyelid open.

I think he might have been flirting with me, in hindsight.

*This is probably not the case
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)

That was me. Soz.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Nah, this bloke was short-haired and not as tall as you
and, more tellingly, he was AT A COMBICHRIST GIG
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

No, it really was me.
I've been lying about a lot of stuff on here, like thinking 'CC' are bent, my hair and my height.

Soz.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:23, Reply)

Come the next bash
I'm going to either batter the fuck out of you, or let you bum me, depending on the accuracy of my guess that you were flirting via the medium of violence
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:24, Reply)

Great news!
I look *exactly* like Battered. See you there!
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:27, Reply)

You fucking wish sunshine.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:29, Reply)

Not fair Darth It's a win win for you.
It's a bit like using a doubled headed coin.
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:31, Reply)

So you'll be the Sept bash then.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:28, Reply)

The venue for which I MUST get sorted.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Not as much as I need to sort out the venue
for my grand ten year celebration bash.
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:45, Reply)

Yo Kroney
You need to add more "cocksucker" in each sentence, have you watched anymore of em yet?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:47, Reply)

I've been at work all day
cocksucker.
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:48, Reply)

Dont let me get all Calamity Jane on your ass

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:50, Reply)

coldplay
i thought they would suck hard. they were actually quite good live.

alt: yesterday. shudder.

altalt: nobody's ever said that to me. er. your momma?
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:32, Reply)

They'd be better dead.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Any idea's of when your going to try out that recipe I gazzed you?

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:35, Reply)

recipe young Mexican rent boy
( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:36, Reply)

You can gazz em now?
That will impede my import business
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:38, Reply)

Next week or so hopefully.
I've had a house guest for a week and I'm staying at my kid's tonight and tomorrow - Saturday I will be too drunk to cook and Sunday too ill to eat.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Staying?
Are you and *her back together?

*the EX
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:40, Reply)

Jesus Christ no.
I'm not allowed to have my daughter stay at mine so I have to kip over at hers. The ex (mercifully) fucks off for the night, presumably to a boyfriend's.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I didn't think you would be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice!

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:44, Reply)

She wouldn't be.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:47, Reply)

In my younger years I went through an unlucky streak of attracting batshit mentalist women

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:49, Reply)

And paid their mortgages?

( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:50, Reply)

Fuck no.
To get rid off one she had to be convinced I was dead, I've still got the clipping from the news paper somewhere.
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:52, Reply)

All women can be at least slightly mental at times.
The trick is to find one you fancy, is intelligent and the least mental you've ever met, then marry them.
( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:52, Reply)

My wifes lovelyping and my soulmate
She only go's batshit mental once a month, I'm still not sure why though.
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:54, Reply)

If I ever make even the tiniest suggestion
that this is something I am considering, I am relying on you all to kill me immediately.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:57, Reply)

BATTER(ed) UP

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:57, Reply)

Happy to oblige. Please make the suggestion.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:58, Reply)

just change the name on your sockpuppet account
and put the words in his mouth
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:59, Reply)

I don't bother with a sock puppet account. Too much hassle.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:05, Reply)

DEATH BY ABBA

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:20, Reply)

I'll kill you now and remove the risk.

( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:58, Reply)

Best to be safe Kroney
It's the only way to be sure
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:02, Reply)

SWIPE!

(DOZERTRON! Baseball!, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:12, Reply)

the music
They were brilliant
it's the only concert I've been to that isn't country
( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:05, Reply)

Good morning K
How are you today?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:07, Reply)

morning?
Where are you?
( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:08, Reply)

I'm in Blighty
Ain't it morning where your at?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:09, Reply)

it's one pm

( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:09, Reply)

??? Are you on a boat in the middle of the ocean?

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:12, Reply)

THE TIME IS THIRTEEN HUNDRED SIR
*salutes*
( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:23, Reply)

re. AA's first comment way up there
Entombed are ace.
(DOZERTRON! Baseball!, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:10, Reply)

SOME BASTARD STARTED A NEW THREAD WHAT A FUCKTOISE

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:31, Reply)