Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
CustomersWe've done a thread with OUR fuckups recently. What is the stupidest thing that a customer has done?
Alt:
Shed. LOL JK. £10 to spend - what on?
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
There's 15 bottles of Kronenburg for £9 at waitrose at the moment.I'd buy that but I better ring them up before hand to let them know I want them.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)
he's shoutingI CAN AFFORD BEER I JUST CHOOSE TO MAKE THE CHEAP SHIT AT HOME
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
Chompy is wound up tighter than a virgin nspring todayhe needs a nice cup of tea a sit down
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:43, Reply)
i've never been near a travel lodgebut surely even they have travel kettles in the rooms. he'll be fine.
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
Hey, fat psychotold you not to follow me round the internet being pathetic, you almost managed it for a while. Give it another go.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)
hey, you bespectacled fat faced illiterate prickwhen you can explain why it's ok for you to make comments about me, as you did in the previous thread, then i'll think about it.
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
My comment: 12 Jul 2012, 14:49Your comment calling me dull 12 Jul, 14:22
I'm happy to ignore you, keep commenting and I'll start quoting your social media policy at you.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Claims for breach of confidentiality, defamation, breach of privacy or harassment may be brought against an employer by third parties where an employee posts content in the course of his or her employment which contains information or material about which a third party has concerns.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)
and doubtless your own employerpositively promotes what you post?
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
and i'll counterclaimwembley tickets - £230
pizza - £15
pub - £25
telecons from grenada to get your stuff back - £15
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
An incredibly fleeting sense of superiority achieved in the vain belief that your internet cohort has run out of retorts: Priceless(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)
i would have settled for a "thank you"(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
some people don't understand the concept, darth(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
I'm smarter than I lookwhich is just as well, those tapes saying "breathe in, breathe out" haven't survived the transistion to MP3
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)
i don't know how anyone sleeps with hypnosis tapesone noise and i'm wide awake
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
as you hate me so muchand wouldn't want to take anything from me, you can transfer the cash, if you like?
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
good jobI'd hate for him to explode into a fit of rage raping all along the A5 from Deanshanger to Towchester!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:48, Reply)
exploding would be alright (
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
I had a client dinner recently. With a guy I have known for 10 years. He called me Mark all night. My name is Mat. My colleague corrected him, he kept calling me Mark.
Alt: 12 inch meatball sub.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:25, Reply)
He's the other type of Matthe one you have in front of doors
(
PhillieJoe Ariston and on and on and on and on and on and on, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
For this reason we have a mate who is known as :Keith, Keith, the man known only as Keith, Keith.....not Kev
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
He was called Kev by a load of people and was too shy to correct them(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
Keith, Keith, the man known only as Keith, Keith is better than both(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
Chompy's dad ordered the "Anal assulter with real spunking action and realistic swinging balls" in pink rather than blacklol
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:25, Reply)
two bottles of BlaxlandMy Shed story it totally going to win this QOTW!
(
PhillieJoe Ariston and on and on and on and on and on and on, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
This would be goodwww.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo/news/the-gherkin-to-become-the-penguin,974,NS.html
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:27, Reply)
I want this to happen(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
This is the right answerwww.leaandsandeman.co.uk/wine/2011-mip-made-in-provence-classic-rose-domaine-sainte-lucie-16410-00.html?pack=20641&categoryFilter=71&page=
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:30, Reply)
and how can you buy this with £10?Also - rose?
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
Rose has it's place, and I figured you could find some extra change to make up the differenceor maybe find it slightly cheaper elsewhere
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:34, Reply)
I quite like rose wine actuallyA nice summer drink
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
exactly, and if you are lunching in the South of France for examplethen it's bang on
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:37, Reply)
The north east of England and the south of France are pretty interchangeable really.(
tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
Damn rightBoth full of frogs
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
And hairy women, more to the point(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
I had to deal with a customer this week who was FURIOUSShe is GOING TO TALK TO HER LEGAL PEOPLE and she WORKS IN MARKETING so we have made the WRONG ENEMY in her.
The extent of her marketing campaign to destroy us so far has been to post the same message warning people about us on our facebook page.
Alt: A new record, always a new record.
(
tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
What percieved slight did you inflict on her?asnd this is the second time I've heard of be in marketing used as a threat, IN what bpossible way would a marketeer have any power to do anthing?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:33, Reply)
She thinks we tried to kill her by making a tablet slightly larger.(
tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Doubt an iPad would stand up to being repeatedly smashed over someone's head(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:41, Reply)
Well if there were three of them....(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
I love customers like thatThe missus used to work in John Lewis and one customer started kicking off by saying "I own shares in this company!" to which the nice lady employee (men don't work for JL do they) replied "No you don't madam. We do."
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:34, Reply)
The best kind of customer are the ones who call the wrong number but refuse to accept it"Hello, I need to discuss my water bill with you"
"Er, you've called COMPANY THAT EMPLOYS TELECOMMUNICATION ANALYSTS, MOSTLY 32, BASED IN NORWICH, I'm afraid sir"
"No you're Anglian Water"
"No I'm afraid we're not"
"You must be, it says this number on my bill. I think you've overcharged me"
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Fucking brilliant cheers mateNot exactly the setlist I'd have chosen but it's very churlish to get picky when I never thought I'd ever get to see them live
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:40, Reply)
Fuck me, SportoI wouldn't know where to start.
(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
*puts hand over Kroney's mouth* Whispers "I'm not gonna kill you" in French ear.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:38, Reply)
IT WAS A GENERIC EXCLAMATION NOT AN INVITATION TO BUTTFUCK MEYOU ARE TALKING TO AN ENGLISH GRADUATE PLEASE DONT TRY TO CORRECT ME ON AN AREA YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOULL JUST LOOK STUPID AND CHILDISH DEAR, K?
(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
luckily by the time they've worked out the "noise" variables and the chance of winningyou can have kicked them in their virgin nuts
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:44, Reply)
yeah buit you'd need to know them first to ignore them, you gay retard(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Thats true, before forecasting stock levels I must list every possible quantum fluctuation in the universe.(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Check in the fridge for eggsor a cat
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
I can glide in and out no bother(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
Tiny cocks are nothing to brag about(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
I hoped it might provoke a lot of posting(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
One from a while backA well known company fucked up royally. They usually sent us member numbers, names, and addresses for cards & carriers, etc. One day, they've sent us names, addresses, and full bank details for several customers.
Their account manager informed them of this, from what I can tell there was something approaching blind panic from their side. The files have been securely deleted now, sadly, but it gave me a good laugh to know that someone who has questioned our security in the past had fucked up quite that badly.
Alt: 2 T-Bones from my local supplier.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
No fucking PIN numbers though :o((
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
Z to the I to the N to the motherfucking G(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
Enough for me to set them up to buy things online though(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
Bookshop ones:"Do you have the latest book by Jane Austen?"
"Is there a book of that TV series, Bleak House?"
Camera shop:
Customer refused to believe we couldn't make a picture a different aspect ratio (normal rectangle from a panoramic shape) without distorting or cropping the image. "but it's MY photograph!!" he wailed
Another customer had a slide film that was double exposed and explained how she thought we had fucked up and the pictures from someone else's film had fallen off and stuck to hers.
Another customer bought a sepia filter and used it with B&W film, surprised the images didn't come out sepia. Tried to blame me and say I'd told her they would.
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
I'm reading Bleak House at the moment.(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
So there is a book of the TV series then?(
tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Yeah, some guy wrote a fanfic about it.expanded universe stuff, you know?
(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
oh god, don't get me startedweed-smokers are the dumbest. i once had a tenant who rang up to say, "you can't come in today, i don't care about your notice. i've locked the front door. from the inside. ha!"
me: "how did you get out?"
him: "through the back door, obviously." he rings off. 2 mins later, he calls back.
him: "er, you don't have a key to my back door, do you?"
turned out he was growing cannabis in there. dick.
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
no commenti remember one utter fucktard whose pikey little flat got repossessed actually wanting to claim for his weed.
i LOL'd hard at that.
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
you should stop smoking that shit, it makes you paranoidi was actually talking about a commercial tenant i booted out of a warehouse a few months ago.
(
rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
Oh hey, so it turns out that women aren't the only ones whose periods synch.It happens to internet losers, too. Everybody's PMSing HARD today.
(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
I'm notMy cunt is blood free
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
In other newsMy car door is fucked due to all the rains knackering the central locking motor on the passenger door. I have bullied the garage into not charging me labour for it \o/
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
Seeing as how I'm in a cracking moodI can only assume that you don't think I'm an internet loser.
*hugs*
*gropes bum*
*retires to be alone*
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)
There is, however, a great deal of sand in a great deal of vaginas.(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
No diggityLot of people need a nice tall glass of chill the fuck out.
I hear Battered got stepped for his boyish malpractice
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Did he shed-troll the new QOTW?(
Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
Not as much as Rory and Quentin didMind you they've gone pretty quiet too
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:23, Reply)
It was modded like hell kroneyhaven't heard a peep from Rory since QOTW went but Batts and Shedtin were around at least an hour later.
(
hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
The Drama Club picture may well appear again sometime soon...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »