Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Isn't it a bit slow?www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18825579
I thought running involved fastness.
What do you find slow?
Alt, is fastness a real word?
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 13:57, Reply)
People walking in front of me are always ridiculously slow.No. Don't think so.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Yes it is, but does not mean speed.A mountain fastness is like a hard-to reach fort.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
I am right:a. A secure or fortified place; a stronghold.
b. A remote, secret place.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
And also:The ability of a material or dye to maintain its colour without fading or washing away.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
I prefer my answer about forts, you vegetarian wanker.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
You prefer wanking vegetarians in a remote, secret place.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
Anglesey, to be precise.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:15,
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I hate it when car journalists say that a company has added 'lightness' to a car(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:06, Reply)
I hate it when car journalists say anything at all, the dull cunts.
Torque? I'd be interested if they were on about Torquemada.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
I think a lack of knowledge of C15th Spanish cardinals is just about excusable.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:14,
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But you should be au fait with any from C16th onwards.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
I like to lift weights and listen to west coast hip hopI pretend I'm in the yard at san Quentin
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:07, Reply)
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
Do you mean Quentin's back garden?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
This board most daysNaked Ape
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
OK chaps, I'm back at my deskThe internet can start being good again.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
Me tooI have returned items to shops and had a hair cut
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:20,
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Urgh, just forgot to put sugar in my coffee.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
Sugar is for gaylords.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
As in 'gay Lord Sugar'?(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
I confuse people as I can drink tea and coffee with our without milk/sugar in all combinations(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
ah the refined palate of the geordieDivvinay through that oot pet
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)
OK great.Starting.......NOW.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
I wouldn't hold your breathI've already been waiting five minutes and so far, nothing.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
OK that one didn't count.From..........NOW.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:28,
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*makes you lose your underwear**instantly regrets doing so*
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Oh manIt took me ages to stuff my cock into my underwear, it's going to take hours to find it all again :(
It'll have tied itself in knots and everything.
*sigh*
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
That really is an insufferably dull article, by the way.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
yes,tl;dr
People run faster to faster music.
Sherlock is constipated.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I liked it when they said thatsome types of music were better than others to run to.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
Not since the tedious days of 'shed' has there been such a dull thread.COME ON KIDS, SORT IT AHHT WILL YA?
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
This not going to the pub on a Friday lunchtime will simply not do, sportoWe rely on you being pissed on here to keep Friday afternoons alive.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
Sorry boysI needed a haircut
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
You are Biz Markie AICMNakers googling this classic album.strictlyoldschoolhiphop.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/biz-markie-i-need-haircut-1991.html
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
Are you sure you want to claim an Ape?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
I have a beatboxing Biz Markie alarm clock at home, fact fans.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:38,
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*wakes up to the sound of*You, You got what I need
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hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:41,
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It's a great way to start the dayHowever the batteries ran out about ten years ago. Now it's an ornament.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
www.engadget.com/2005/01/25/biz-markie-talking-clock-radio/
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:55,
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I watched ""Crush Groove" the other week trufactThe Fatboys beatboxing made me lol
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hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
Their first LP is actual genius.'In Jail' in particular.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
Looks like I'll be meeting Chompy for a pint in a couple of hoursBets on who throws the first punch are at the discretion of Mr TheDogFucker
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Innit? Chompy, hands down.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
Why am I meeting him or why do I think a pool on punchin' is a good plan?(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:39, Reply)
We have previous, innitHave actually just been texting him about the meet, promises to be a good laugh
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Didn't you threaten to"knock his farken teef arrrt" on one occasion?
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
He's such a fucking hard nut.(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
Not as suchI got my impotent rage on a good while ago, genuinely can't remember what was said, apologised subsequently. I'm not in the habit of punching people, unless they start it, which seems phenomenally unlikely.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)
I, for one, welcome this new spirit of reconciliation(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Do you want to make something of it??(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Let's enjoy this period of blissful, Rory- and Quentin-free harmony*holds hands (with self)*
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:03, Reply)
That's not your hand, you filthy pervert.(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
You can think of much better things to do to them with a clenched fist?(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Which one of them are you talking to there?(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
Old people.Alt: yes, but it doesn't refer to speed. It means that the colour of something doesn't run.
God, I'm bored today. I've tried working, I've tried housework, I've even tried shopping. I think I need someone to entertain me.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
hey hey! I'm here!I'm totally entertaining. I just bought a second hand bedside table and a sander and some sari material. I am going to make A THING
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
Oh dear, the sander is going to fuck that sari right up.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
oh what?I hadn't thought of that
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
Use scissors instead.Top tip.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
*takes notes*(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:45,
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and piss-stained blankets.(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
ice beards?is this all about explorers and stuff?
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:46,
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John Carpenter's film The Thing(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
Or the prequel I was forced to watch(
hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
you know whati've never seen that
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
A THING???I designed a logo for a competition today. It was quite cute.
Have you submitted all the relevent H&S procedure forms for the thing-making?
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
ooh, is it on your website, or will it be?No H&S procedures for I am at home and this is one of my many summer projects. I may regret this once I end up sanding my arm off
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
It's not on the websiteand I can't put it there, as part of the competition rules. Maybe once the contest is over.
Did you see the monster yesterday? I've got a whole range of them lined up. I'm really enjoying those.
so, what is this thing?
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
Is it you designing those then?They are cool
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
Who did you think it was?I'm the one that's been whoring them all over facebook...
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:52,
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ah, because I talk about 'him'?Yeah, that's the happy biscuit. He's a he.
It's basically just me. I have identity issues.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:00,
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You can't wish your breasts away b3th(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:16,
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I can't fucking diet them away. either.: (
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:18,
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oh he was cool! I liked him (/her/it)I plan to do some decoupage - gluing material to a bit of furniture and varnishing it. I'm going with sari material and making something a bit like those indian patchworks. I went into a sari shop today, got talking to the woman there and she does textiles and had loads of rolls of awesome material in the basement that I rifled through.
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:53,
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So the sari and the bedside table aren't the same 'thing'?I'm intrigued.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:56,
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they are the same thing1. sand table
2. glue sari material to table
3. moar glue
4. moar glue
5. varnish
6. WIN!
This technique
www.jcarolinecreative.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Store_Code=JC&Screen=NIGHTSTAND
Only more indian
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
It may well be. I've never seen that.I was thinking of the guy who runs the Kwik-e-Mart on teh simpsons.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:57,
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It's what curry makes me do.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
If I get the wrong oneThey tend to make me wince in pain when I have a shit.
Gandhi guts, indeed.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)
Perhaps it needs more sheds.(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
Friday afternoons.It's the works equivalent of the long dark tea-time of the soul.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)
I can't imagine many employers (who aren't complete cunts, anyway)expect much in the way of productivity on a Friday afternoon.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Certainly not at mine.The guy behind me has moved on from playing Rosanna constantly to the mnah mnah song.
Urge to kill- rising...
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:04, Reply)
doo doooooo de doo doo.(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
Unless the track in questionIs made by Masai tribesmen, and pressed on vinyl made of Tibetan yak tears, you think everything is shit.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:19, Reply)
my last lesson on a friday this last yearwas with some second years. I'd let them put music on, it was always noisy, sometimes there was dancing and arsing about (usually me). Luckily this sometimes led to better work. Yay art subjects
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
There'll be beers in the canteen in about 30 minutesI doubt my employers expect much productivity.
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul:the book equivalent of stuffing your face with human faeces and then running headfirst into a wall, only slightly less enjoyable.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Robert Rankin is far superior.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
what?!Rankin just spends ages saying things lots of times hoping it will eventually become funny. It's some old charter or something
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
No, he also made up acronyms specifically so that he could call an organisation BUMFART and so on.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
genius(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
I prefer his cousin 'Uptown Top'(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
See me in me pants and ting lolz(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
mindbleach please, ladies and gents(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
OK, there's a decent sub-threadFriday afternoon time wasting
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
STOP THE GODDAMN PRESSESMy boss has just handed me a DOUGHNUT THE SIZE OF YOUR* HEAD on his way out of the door.
Thus heralds a sugar-fuelled afternoon of doing FUCK ALL
*if you're Battered
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:05, Reply)
Give me 10 minutesI'l be over...
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
Wales to Norfolk in ten minutes?You really love you a doughnut, dontcha
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
There's an underground hypersonic tunnel known only to sheep-farmers(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:10, Reply)
you don't get a figure like minewithout dedication to doughnuts
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
+ the Billy Mill roundablout(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
google "approaching the Billy Mill Roundabout"(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
I AM GOING TO MAKE A COFFEETRY TO HOLD BACK THE LOLS FOR MY RETURN
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
OH MY GOD ME TOO!It's like we're in synchronicity!
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
and now I want someNO WAI!
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
actually I might just have tea(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
I've just had a pint of teafrom my ENORMOUS TEA MUG.
Now I might have a diet pepsi.
More news as it happens.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
No, it's definitely a mug.It has THE BOSS written on it.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
Mine has "Employee of the Month" on it.My mum bought it for me.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
Does she still pimp you out on the docks?(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Unions been on strikeHe's down on his luck
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:28,
Reply)
We have so much in common b3thWe're both in our 30s and love sci-fi and atrociously well-endowed. And in both of our relationships the man is punching stupidly far above his weight.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:14, Reply)
This is confusingIt seems like a Pandatron but then on a re-read it says Cavy has a massive cock
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
I'm not sure how I got involved(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
Its your massive cockIt keeps getting in the way
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
It's true.And we're both blind and fancy men.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
I've run out of ideas nowMaybe we're not actually the same person
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Unless you're all Bert sockpuppet accountsAll talking to each other in a vain parody of human conversation.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:20, Reply)
have you seen Quentin?
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Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
you are on fire today(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
RIGHT EVERYONE.THIRD TIME LUCKY.
READYYYYYY.............NOW!
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Chompy!I hear you're going to let Darth fondle your arse in a Norwich waterhole.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
This is definitely what I also heard.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Did you also hear he was going to film it for later use?(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
there's actually going to be 3 b3tans in a pub for 30minstechically a bash it shoud be on the calendar.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:28, Reply)
fucking hell crossed over into east anglia, st elmos fire played on local radio, its like goodnight sweetheart.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:34, Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA SHED LOL!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
She's making the teas!!!(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
THIS IS A RACIST JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
oooohwarm tingly feeling in my lap.
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b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
That's either mr b3th or Biscuit pissing on you(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
I think it's more likely to be my laptop.(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
This afternoon is boringI might go and call someone a 'fucking black cunt' and then claim I was being sarcastic.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
I do that all the time!(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
not you as well.Swipola already thinks I'm a cunt and wants me to die in a fire.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:37, Reply)
aw.That's not fair. I mean, it's not like you're quentin or anything.
(
b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
and nor is alhmmmm
mind you, nor is bert.
HMMMMMMM.
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rachelswipe can't tell the difference between battered & dozer, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
She did say that, didn't she.Thought it was a bit harsh, myself. Shooting would be far more humane.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
Dozy complained the swipe was being mean to himI said people are mean to those they fancy, she said no, she just hates him.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
i wasn't talking about dozer specificallyjust cunts in general. if the cap fits, take it off and die in a fire.
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rachelswipe can't tell the difference between battered & dozer, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
DON'T TRY AND WRIGGLE OUT OF IT NOWYou said it, we all saw.
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Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Really? I can see why she hates you now.Be a man FFS
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
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