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rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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What's the worst thing you've ever got away with at work?
Alt: I'm not a fan of doughnuts, but if you had to have one what type would you choose?

Altalt: When was the last time you went 'commando'?
(Michael Biehn Marines! We are leaving!, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Probably just sex
I'm usually pretty well behaved at work.
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:37, Reply)

wanking in the bogs doesn't count as sex.

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Really? Fuck.
Well I guess I'm still a virgin then. Gosh darn it.
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:06, Reply)

arsing about showing off a dinosaur lunchbox
...in front of the very important visitor. Spent the rest of the day hiding in the darkroom
(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:40, Reply)

*starts choppin'*

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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:02, Reply)

You're livin' all over me, sporto.

(

tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)

Probably fucking the technical writer a few years ago
Alt:
Jam

Alt Alt:
When wearing shorts as they have built in "cupping mesh"
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Your eldest is five, isn't he?
HOW MANY YEARS AGO?
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:58, Reply)

About 11 or 12
I'm not sure....

*thinks*
12
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

I've been here 15 years as of today

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Alrighty then
Less for armed robbery etc
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Indeed
2 extra days holiday now though
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Why is it called 'going commando'?
Anyone know?
(

Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Something about helmets

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

(

Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:48, Reply)

army
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=going+commando
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rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Hmm

(

Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:49, Reply)

alright sexy.

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Man, Imma make hate to you
*mounts*
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)

altalt: all of them
probably toffee for preference

altalt: when I'd not washed enough pants
(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:50, Reply)

altaltlols
EDIT:
The first one
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:50, Reply)

Technical and boring but cost the company £16k....
I'm on a train, destination pub!
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:52, Reply)

\o/
I'm currently writing our new upgrade routine. 4 pints of Peroni helps this process
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:53, Reply)

I look forward to you rewriting on Monday!

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Believe it or not, it is actually working

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:54, Reply)

There's only one type of donut
Jam filled and sprinkled with sugar. I don't recognise any other donuts as donuts, you donut
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Custard? Apple?
Ring?
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:54, Reply)

The theme to Trumpton hasn't aged well

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

that's my kind of party

(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Ain't no party, like a Custard Apple Ring party

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:58, Reply)

damn right

(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:59, Reply)

There's so many sexual metaphors in there that I don't know where to start

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Round the back, as normal

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:02, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1700238
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

I go commando all the time.
Admittedly only when I'm in the flat as my trousers have a habit of slipping down below the level of arse-apex.
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

and then it gets all porny

(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Err, Krorney

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:58, Reply)

This is making it difficult to concentrate
Do you want to come back to ours?
(

tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Oh dear.

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Spending £1800 on a night out via the company credit card

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Good work fella.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:10, Reply)

I must admit I was kinda shitting myself when I showed the MD the bill

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Better than showing the bill the MDs

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)

ello ello ello cow

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Nicked some fags from my employer when I was about 21
In my defence, my employers at the time were - and I want to make sure I use the correct vernacular here - "cunts"

Since then, nowt of interest. I tend to claim a full day's pay for any meetings in London even though the meeting itself lasts 3.5 hours and I'm drinking the rest of the time. ROCK'N'ROLL.
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Travel is a valid reason

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Still drinking on work time though innit
Don't deny me my pretensions of rebellion, Sporters
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Pffft
Lightweight
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Brain Cloughs papershoplolz

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Run by Cloughie's only living son

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

*ghost in green jumper points*
NOW THEN YOUNG MAN
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:07, Reply)

*gets misty-eyed*

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

We used to get shitfaced behind the bar when i started in bars,
not sure that counts though, as it was par for the course back then. Now everything is different.
Used to sit out the back and smoke spliffs, occassionally dropped an E if we knew we were going out after so we'd be up when we got there.

alt; donuts are shit, but if i had to, custard filled.

Altalt: I'm not wearing any underwear right now, just got out of the shower and decided to air dry.
(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:02, Reply)

you and Kroney should make a film together

(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:04, Reply)

why?

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

you both seem to like
giving your bits and airing
(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:06, Reply)

are you suggesting you want to watch a film of me and kroney poncing about with our balls swaying in the cooling evening breeze?

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:08, Reply)

I'd totally be up for that.

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:08, Reply)

GAZ IM ME

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Striking poses to best set off our scrota in the golden-copper sunset
it'd be totally arthouse, dude.
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:10, Reply)

'arsehouse'

(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:11, Reply)

we're totally going to Cannes with this one.

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:12, Reply)

let's pretend i did the strikethroughs to make "cannes" into "anus"
and then let's pretend it was funny
(

rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Hahahahahhahaa
HTH
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Sorry, it appears the film "Scrotal Vengeance " has already been made..
*shakes head*
(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Scrotal recall
Arnies lesser known movie
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

POTD

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:21, Reply)

hahaha!
click
(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)

I appreciate the effort you're putting in to keeping comedy buoyant on this great forum.

(

Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

sweet sweet internet validation

(

rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

I'm sorry. I can't do that, Dave.

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

who said
I'd watch it? Actually maybe I would, I like horror
(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:09, Reply)

ugliest "Newton's cradle" ever

(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:09, Reply)

'doing the hairy Newton's cradle'
is a well known position in man on man action
(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:11, Reply)

PIG SHIT II - b3ta's Revenge

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Brokeback Mounting

(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Ballbag Mountain

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Thanks Man Vs Food
voodoodoughnut.com/index.php
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

About 15 years ago I crashed the mainframe for an entire afternoon. Whole company ground to a halt.
Apparently IBM came in to take away my source code as "it shouldn't have been able to do that".
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

haha!
I like this
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:06, Reply)

having sex in one of the empty flats when i was a letting agent
alt: the fresh hot sugary ones at alton towers. failing that, a krispy kreme.

altalt: thongs ftw.
(

rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:10, Reply)

POIDH
To all three
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Thongs are rank.
A stinky bit of string, chiseled out the arse crack, not pleasant. I don't mean that I wear one, like Mr Stringfellow...

www.google.co.uk/imgres?num=10&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbnid=78XenOQd63c_MM:&imgrefurl=http://letsgist.com/knicker-whopper-glory-the-end-of-the-g-strings/&docid=xX4xsTsPm6tVaM&imgurl=http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01520/SNN0335PETER--_1520779a.jpg&w=532&h=769&ei=_hclUJiYGaPT0QXpsYDACg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=844&vpy=120&dur=2839&hovh=270&hovw=187&tx=116&ty=172&sig=108100896007836885075&page=1&tbnh=152&tbnw=106&start=0&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0,i:85&biw=1280&bih=806
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)

sooooo not clicking on that

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rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Go on, you know you want to. Don't worry, it's a rear view, you can't see his face.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Thongs, like everything else
are hot if worn on something hot. Flabby cheeks and a gunt are going to make the laciest french knicker look grim.
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)

more shameless franco promotion here

(

rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:21, Reply)

I'm a slut for my country.

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

gunt
Truly one of the top words
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

It's one of my favourites of 2012

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Not heard that one before.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)

I think I first saw it on /talk.
may it rest in peace.
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)

Macc Ladds innit?

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Yes.

(

Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)

HELLO HOW'S THE HANGOVER?

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:06, Reply)

I am halfway through a pint of cider to try and clear it. I still cannot face food.
A wank helped.
(

Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Cheaper than a Bacon Sarnie I suppose

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Fuck why didn't I read before I clicked

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

*passes mind bleach and Librium*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

I totally had sex lies with the hot receptionist on the photocopier while giving a presentation.

(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

I totally had sex lies with the hot receptionist on the photocopier while giving a presentation.

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

I totally had sex lies with the hot receptionist on the photocopier while giving a presentation.

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

I totally had sex lies with the hot receptionist on the photocopier while giving a presentation.

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

etc..

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Is that a paper jam?

(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)

No, I'm just pleased to see you

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)

and out of toner

(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:34, Reply)

It's never happened before

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Replacement fuser required

(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:40, Reply)

This is why you should do it double sided
saves on consumables
(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)

CLICK

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)

Swipey's a receptionist now?

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)

ARISE PANDATRON
YOUR TIME IS NOW
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:29, Reply)

How did you know what I call my penis?!

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Pandatron?
PANDATRON!!!!

Where are you?
(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:32, Reply)

Eats shoots and leaves?

(localboy Ignore are for cunts, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)

hahahahaha

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Yeah
It's like an alien's tongue
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)

acidic?

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)

with teeth

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Thank you
My desk is like the opening scene of MacBeth at the minute
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)

A banquet?
I fucking bet it is, you slag
(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Its a battle, not a banquet.

(

Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Depends who nicks the last chicken leg

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:50, Reply)

That Thane of Cawdor cunt.

(

Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:51, Reply)

He�s French
That�s the closest they get to a battle
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Serving refreshments to the winners.

(

Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)

I meant the three witches

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Alt:
The doughnut in granny's greenhouse.
(

tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Euphemism of the day

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Bonzo Dog lp innit?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Shenase Reade (or what ever her name is)
Is totally winning at the ET biking event
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I'm actually going to be gutted when the Olympics is over
I might have to go back to mingling with you spastics for my worktime jollies
(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Did you watch any of the womens volleyball earlier?
Japan Vs Brasil?
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)

No but I've got a feeling that I'll wish I had

(Darth Foxtrot just doesn't see the point in sobriety, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:52, Reply)

The only females in the whole olympics with tits
All play for the Brasillian volleyball team
(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Going around telling people if I think they annemic or not by tasting the bits in that little bin that the disabled toilets has.

(

Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 15:59, Reply)

wha?

(

sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:00, Reply)

:(
nasty
(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:01, Reply)

it's very very hot outside

(

Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I called my boss a prick today

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:02, Reply)

NEW THREAD FOR THE LAST HOUR PLEASE

(

hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:04, Reply)

*gallic shrug*

(

Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 16:06, Reply)

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