Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.I'm the funniest person on b3ta. No contest.
Tell me your best joke.
(, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:11, Reply)
"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual."
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Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:23,
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Ummmm, I dunno about jokes,but my friend Liz was telling me about how her mum is indian, and this should really go into the QOTW, but she was telling me this, and I just blurted out "but you're so WHITE!".
(, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)
sounds exactly like the QOTWgo for it
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:27,
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My friend is white. Her mother is Indian. And dark. and she's not adopted.(, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Is the milkwoman white?(
Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:36,
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I think they get milk from Wombats in that Australia, Al.(
the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:06,
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Ooh, that reminds me of another jokeWhat do you do with a Wombat? PLAY WOM WITH IT OF COURSE!!!
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:08,
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AUSTRALIAN University, WindyShe goes to an AUSTRALIAN University
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:59,
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I heard the exams are all 'Describe a doe", "What goes with tea?" and "you run a long way away, where are you?"australol
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:18,
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Same oldA young boy goes to his Dad and asks what a vagina is. His Dad responds "Oh son, it's just the best. It's like the most beautiful flower, delicate, yet fantastic...well, before sex anyway." His son, confused, asks "Why Dad, what's it like after sex?"
At this point the Dad goes quiet for a minute or so, before looking seriously at his son and asking "Well, have you ever seen a bulldog eating porridge?"
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:28,
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Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:38,
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:58,
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This caused a few problems on /talk the other daySo I apologise in advance
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 13:58,
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No offence to the once great /talk, Twosiebut putting clothes on in the correct order causes problems for /talk these days.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:05,
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*sigh*I'm inclined to agree. Used to be fun. Ah well.
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:06,
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I miss Dekazer and Flapjack and Fenris and that lot.And GMoS. Always in R harts, GMoS.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:10,
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flapjack is still about a bit.But yeah. R.I.P /talk.
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Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:12,
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YeahHe was a good egg. And Eddache. And Binky. And so on and so on.
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:13,
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I miss gooch(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:14,
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totes.They've all gone to the great big bash called getting a life.
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Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:18,
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YesThey've found "something better to do"
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:29,
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Eddache has done quite the opposite, hasn't he?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:33,
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is one of them dead, or am I not understanding things?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:44,
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Yeah, but not Eddache(
Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:45,
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not even a bit?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:48,
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Well only he can confirmBut he seems to be more or less fully alive
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:50,
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I was looking forwards to alot icons :((
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:54,
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I told him that I was disappointedbecause I wanted a crack at his wife
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:59,
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Quite so, Quite so*lights pipe*
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:08,
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Yes, capital*sips*
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:09,
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I know. It's a terrible affliction.(
the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:07,
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Whats the right order to put on clothes? (
Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:08,
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Start on the inside and work your way out(
Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:09,
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Common practice dictates the under ones before the outer ones.(
the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:09,
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But socks are under the trousers and they can go on after trousers.(
Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:17,
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they are not under trousers as much as adjacent to trousers.(
the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:17,
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Some of my socks are under some of my trouser though.Why are trousers ploral?
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Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:25,
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it's more of an overlap than than under.because you have a pair of them, and I don't know.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:26,
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It is a minefield, Gonz.This is why I practise naturism.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:18,
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I'm the oppersite, I like to shower with swimming trunks on.(
Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:29,
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I have no idea whether my scrotal cravatte goes on with or without pants(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:15,
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It doesn't matter,but if you do wear pants, not winged collar pants, or you'll look like a waiter and everyone will know you're lower class.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:24,
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Who is your very best freind(
hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:19,
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My girlfriend came round unexpectedly yesterdayI need to up her dosage.
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:00,
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15 years of marriage does that to a man :((
hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:16,
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Christ, this place is like a morgue.that joke wasn't yours, so I think you've cheated in the spirit of the question.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:03,
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What's the definition of 'double-blind testing'?Two orthopaedic surgeons looking at an ECG report.
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Amorous Badger : One of our most popular models., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:05,
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I might tell that to my ortho surgeon matesee if she decks me.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:08,
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I don't get it(
Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:09,
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It's a medical specialism thing.(
the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:10,
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I have to be honest, I don't think it's that funny to the general populacebut it would probably upset orthopaedic surgeons. although nowhere near as much as it does when you call them osteopaths when you're drunk.
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:12,
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I hate being excluded from comedy just because I don't have a degree =((
Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:24,
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I don't have a medical degreeyou probably know more about surgical specialisms than me, Gonz
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the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:25,
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I was wondering, you know how in some cultures they eat bull's testicles, "rocky mountain oysters" and all that. And things like eyeballsOf all the offal that people eat, has anyone tried eating a vagina?
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Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:31,
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there was tgat cannibal murder guy in south america i think.But they shot him I think, so you can't really ask him what its like.
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Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:35,
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I heard with his final breath he gasped 'surf and turf'(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:38,
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you could make it like a chicken cordon bleu with melted cheese and tomato sauce seeping outwith a parsley pube garnish on top
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:37,
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I don't think I have a best joke.and yet, I don't think I am the least funny person on here.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:05,
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Bon Jovi's ill-advised "kids" rock anthem?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:05,
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There are two monkeys in a baththe first one says "OOOHHHH AAHHHH AHHH AHH AHH"
to which the second replies...
"if it's too hot Colin, put in some cold water"
(, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Bill and Ben in a bathBill: "flobalobalob!"
Ben: "If you are going to do that, you can get out now"
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:08,
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there are two Sky sports presenters hanging out the back of a footballers wife...(, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:15, Reply)
I hope one is Georgie Thompson(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:29,
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questionI have a new found love for croissant, does this make me a.twat?
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K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:30,
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I had an almond one few breakfast today, its well nice.I think one filled with Bounty Guts would be great.
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Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:32,
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just the one croissant?Serena to me like you need help.
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Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:33,
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www.damnyouautocorrect.com/
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:52,
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How do you catch a rabbit?Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot.
Laugh, you fuckers, or I'll start with the 'Ask me if I'm a Lemon' joke...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:51,
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are you a lemon?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:12,
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Went to the zoo the other day. It only had one animal. A dog.It was a shih-tzu.
(, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:53, Reply)
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