hello
what's the most useless bit of advice you've ever been given?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 10:06, 14 replies, latest was 7 years ago)

vote UKIP

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 10:41, Reply)

at least i can
and therefore i'm not an angry spitting (blue) ball of hatred
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 11:30, Reply)

Don't drop bombs

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 12:05, Reply)

like guffs lol

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 12:19, Reply)

cropdusting

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 12:28, Reply)

Don't whizz on the electric fence.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 13:04, Reply)

Never eat a polar bears liver.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 17 Nov 2016, 13:07, Reply)

A guy that I used to work with many years ago sidled up to me in the office one day and imparted these words of wisdom:
"After chopping chilli peppers, always wash your hands thoroughly before initiating foreplay."

Apparently his wife was last seen diving fanny-first into a cold bath shouting "My fucking fanny's on fire".

I guess it's over 20 years since he told me that, and I've yet to have any kind of chilli pepper/foreplay scenario where that advice would have came in useful.

Still early days I guess.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 Nov 2016, 15:27, Reply)

That advice would actually have come in useful to me on one occasion.
So it's not entirely pointless. Plus, you never know.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 15:31, Reply)

I hope you weren't on your own.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 Nov 2016, 16:07, Reply)

Thankfully,
I was not.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Nov 2016, 9:04, Reply)

i was once cooking dinner for someone i was trying to impress
about 10 years ago, and I naively rubbed my eye and then my nose with chilli-infested fingers.

I spent much of the evening with an ice cube up my nose and my eye almost swollen shut.

all of teh sex-eh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 16:06, Reply)

I bet you didn't see him coming.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 Nov 2016, 16:07, Reply)

revolting

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 17 Nov 2016, 17:09, Reply)