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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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xmas thread about xmas stuff and other non xmas stuff

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:44, Reply)
Xmas is well bent. Lolz.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:01, Reply)
I know m8, but we need to get it out the way so we can celebrate my birthday

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:10, Reply)
When is your birthday?

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:12, Reply)
haha, like you've forgotten!!!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:19, Reply)
Sound like you have forgotten

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:26, Reply)
I never forget when I'm getting presents

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:33, Reply)
You should get a Sodastream
And then spend your days trying to make Rio.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:36, Reply)
I'd like one of them, haven't found that citrus rio anywhere else yet

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:43, Reply)
Xmas is well lush. Lolz.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:23, Reply)
so r u m8

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:33, Reply)
no you!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:01, Reply)
Xmas is ok I suppose...
We're going to get the fire going this year. Will be nice and toasty.
No roasting chestnuts though.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:49, Reply)
We're not because the kid likes sitting in the fireplace.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:55, Reply)
We're not because we have central heating

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:01, Reply)
sticks of straw woven by your cousin cletus' cloven hooves and burned in the middle of the floor is not central heating

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:07, Reply)
Sucking 50 cocks and swallowing doesn't constitute a hot meal but it doesn't stop you doing it every evening.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:11, Reply)
hey come on now, we do half each

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:17, Reply)
Kids will do anything for a Slab of Tyskielea

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:36, Reply)
So do I!
I forgot to turn it down before bed last night, and it was like the fires of Hades.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:34, Reply)
Which is where you're going when you die you despicable abomination!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:35, Reply)
Better pack some suncream then!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:36, Reply)
Suncream does not work as a flame retardant.
HTH
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:38, Reply)
You're the retard.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:55, Reply)
posted by your own retard

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:57, Reply)
I hope it's clean!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:36, Reply)
I FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!
I now have no work to do although I am, as the comedian says, here all week.

Sainsbos mass text system has gone haywire and is telling people wrong order, wrong location and wrong time pick up info.

I wruv them wrong time.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:55, Reply)
Nearly a year since I did a real job lol gutted, and I'm going to have a better xmas bonus

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:56, Reply)
You're robbing them blind!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:58, Reply)
Make sure you get your Xmas wages from the boss.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:02, Reply)
Double time as I'm 'working' xmas day

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:11, Reply)
And a day off in loo!
Are you oop noorth for Xmas?
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:13, Reply)
London xmas day, Essex Boxing Day, Kent day after then The North after that for NY. Then a week then Barbados and my birthday.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:16, Reply)
Whoa! Busy, busy. Sounds fun.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:39, Reply)
I'll be doing my food shop in Aldi...
Christmas veg is 19p. What a bargain.

Get some meat from the local butchers. Job's a good un.
Already had 2 cases of wine delivered.

Im ready for it.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:57, Reply)
I think you mean 'boxes'

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:59, Reply)
It's all about the prep, GJ.
My ham is currently bathing in apple juice. Turkey pick up and veg tomorrow.

My Mrs will reveal the location of the Xmas booze tomorrow although to be fair I haven't been out every night this year and gone home looking for it.

Got some champers to take home tonight. All presents are done.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:01, Reply)
^ ham bather

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:29, Reply)
ham?
you're a worse jew than gonz.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:33, Reply)
Christmas+ham. WWJD?

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:40, Reply)
Sodastream Black
Power is the most advanced SodaStream carbonation system, letting you create the freshest fizzy drinks at the touch of a button.

It features a sleek, minimalist design of the award-winning SodaStream Source, but elevates the user experience to the next level, with automated carbonation with the touch of a button.

There are three fizz levels to make perfectly consistent sparkling water as you like! There is also LED light indicators and snap lock bottle mechanism to easily insert bottle for unparalleled ease of use.

Well worth 190.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:05, Reply)
My wife gave me a sexy wink told me she's bought something to wear for me for Xmas and informed my she won't be on her rag at Xmas
So I reckon I'm getting socks
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:05, Reply)
Wahey, Peej!!
Won't just be Santa emptying his sack!
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:09, Reply)
Or cumming down a flue

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:38, Reply)
Or stockings...cor

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:11, Reply)
A nice tie
with a turkey holding a sign saying "go veggie"
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:25, Reply)
Chastity belt

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:09, Reply)
i have used 15 rolls of wrapping paper this christmas
bah humbug
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:33, Reply)
And yet I am still to receive my gifts

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:34, Reply)
STRIKE - Wrapping
Have a good shit mate!

#SnakeLOLZ
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:36, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:53, Reply)
i thought this when i typed it
hahaha
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 14:52, Reply)
Might get up in a minute.
Have a shower and think about starting my Christmas shopping.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:37, Reply)
That's a nice day. Except for the shopping.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:41, Reply)
Gonna stay in and avoid the pub this evening
Might watch Die Hard and order a curry.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:43, Reply)
Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:48, Reply)
Now I know what a TV dinner tastes like.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:56, Reply)
Might leave the shopping and watch telly instead

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:56, Reply)
My brother's back for his first family christmas
in 6 years.

At the last one he was working as a pub chef. Got massively pissed and badly scalded his hand in a bowl of soup. He spent all of Christmas dinner, fucked up with his hand in a bowl of water.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:34, Reply)
hope he didn't fall asleep

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:41, Reply)
Bowling for soup

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:50, Reply)
Ha!

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 14:01, Reply)
why did he put his hand in the soup??

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 14:51, Reply)
To get to the cullen skink

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:37, Reply)
Because he's an alcoholic calamity with bent hair.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:56, Reply)
I just went to the shops and bought 6 bottles of red, a slab and a bottle of whiskey
Xmas can start now
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 14:09, Reply)
SLAB for life

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 14:12, Reply)
I need to get a slab in, and some sloe gin.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 14:50, Reply)
Sloe gin is the taste of Christmas.
I had a flask full at the panto last Saturday.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:11, Reply)
imma make a sloe gin cocktail innit

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:17, Reply)
Niiice.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:28, Reply)
We have sloes growing everywhere yet I have never bothered to make it
My mate does and I can confirm its way better than shop bought
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:11, Reply)
I'd have a go at making it if it wasn't so much easier to buy it

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:17, Reply)
sloe juice and bought gin plus sugar. It's the future.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:28, Reply)
you should have a lads' weekend in your seaside place next year
no drinking or massive drugs, just you and monty and snake and jeff etc making sloe gin and knitting.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:42, Reply)
No way

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:07, Reply)
No way

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:31, Reply)
Ma-nah-na-na

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:31, Reply)
he just shoves sloes and sugar in a wine bottle and tops up with gin then leaves for a few months
Its right lush
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:47, Reply)
I collected sloes in Swanage, froze
them for 2 months then tried to make the sloe gin. It's sour as fuck, too ripe possibly.

I've got Ardbeg scotch so there'll be posh drinking for me tonight.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 17:00, Reply)
Not enough sugar

(, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:24, Reply)
Well done Dave, you've save beethreetah

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:49, Reply)
Just doing my bit mate, nothing else going on today apart from a trip to the dentist earlier

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:53, Reply)
er
you have a Christmas List as long as a donkey's dick
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:57, Reply)
Shut up

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:00, Reply)
^ Little Donkey

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:30, Reply)
I've been obsessively watching
Christmas films for a while and have run out. I even watched Bernard and the Genie.
Any suggestions welcome, excluding the ones telling me to fuck off etc.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 21:01, Reply)
Nah, they're all the same
There's a Christmas 24 channel on Sky devoted to the bloody things. All it's taught me is that everyone in America is followed around by either Richard Clayderman and his piano or a 96 piece orchestra, or both. Load of bollocks all of them.
(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 22:00, Reply)
^ wishes he was a yank

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 22:10, Reply)
I wish I was a little bit Yankee, I wish I had a hanky

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 22:55, Reply)

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