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This is a question Advice from Old People

Sometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.

Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.

Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.

(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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I used to be a manager in a pub in South Yorks
Everyday this old boy would come in and drink his Guinness and whiskey chasers. The female staff all hated him, because he was quite lecherous, but he was fairly harmless. I shall never forget him for two reasons.

1) His immortal line upon seeing an attractive lady: "I tell 'ee what, boy. I'd let her fart in my soup."

I never could quite work out what it meant, but find myself using it more and more....

2) This sage piece of advice he once imparted on the female species: "Forget looks an' tits an' shite. All ya needs from life is a woman with a heart of gold and a fanny like a jar of worms."

RIP Bob, you lovely drunken old bastard. :)
(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:29, closed)
I clicked....
becuase it was great, but jeez, I feel gruesome now too
(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:33, closed)
lol
Fanny like a jar of worms.....just explained to my boss precisely what I was laughing at and he spat his chocolate bar out all over his keyboard!!
(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:40, closed)
Woo
Got to be a winner this week!
(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:43, closed)
*chokes on tea*

(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:47, closed)
That's excellent!
and let's be honest - you know what he means.
(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 20:42, closed)
OMG!
I think I've just found my new favourite expression in the WORLD! *giggles*
(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 20:53, closed)

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