Aww, bless
Soon after Mrs. Lustfish and I started dating, it was time to meet the family. They're a Yorkshire matriarchy, and don't like outsiders too much. I am a South African and speak posh, like, having learned English in boarding schools.

The future Mrs. Lustfish started telling the family about me, for I was to be visiting that weekend. Her Grandma was the best. What's he like, where's he from, etc etc. Upon hearing that I was Sarf Effrican, she apparently uttered the immortal line:

"He's not a darkie, is he, dear?"

(I'm not.)

With that story to fortify me, I sallied North to meet them all for the first time. Their way is to assemble the entire family and then examine the new specimen, deciding whether to kill and eat him now, or later.

Now I should point out that the missus had also described me as chatty, witty and sociable. So expectations were high.

I sat in this room full of Doncaster folk and hardly said two words. The "looks" started to pass between the family, and eventually the missus hauled me (alone) into the kitchen - hissing "why aren't you saying anything?? You're making an idiot of me!!"

To which I could only reply "I can't understand a bloody word anyone's saying!". A bunch of Yorkshire folk, speaking Yorkshire to this posh lad, and speaking it very fast; I could only catch one word in five. The missus found this hilarious, and went back to the family to tell them.

So I come back into the room, and Grandma walks over to me, and says, very slowly, loudly and clearly, "would you like a cup of tea, dear?" - as if to a monger.

Mrs LF and I have been together for 11 years now, and Grandma still speaks to me as though I'm just a little slow (and excuses me to her friends upon introduction). I even understand Yorkshire now!
(lustfish, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 0:09, 4 replies)

Just because
you're South african... *click*

speaking of Monger's I just got off the phone with a guy named Dick Monger lmao
(Bluffboy South Africa! World Champions!!!, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 7:45, closed)

It's pretty common
My ex is English, in fact only 100 miles or so from where my family are from (Derbyshire)and he couldn't understand a bloody word they said!!!!

Not sure he could count that as an excuse really...
(Beklet is inexplicably angry, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 9:40, closed)

he he
my grandmothers both asked if mr vitamin was a gypsy when i told them he was czech. they still go on about how awful all eastern europeans are - except him, of course... and my whole family thinks he's a bit slow as english isn't his first language.
( ascorbate, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)

i'm from doncaster..
...and even my mum says i talk too fast.. i must be the next stanley unwin..
(Butthole Surfer : as felt up in Braille Weekly :D, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:35, closed)