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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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Lost in translation
My friend had very respectful people visiting him from abroad and I thought it would be a good idea for him to greet them in their native tongue.

He thought I was teaching him to say "It's a pleasure to meet you" but what I actually taught him was "You've got big tits". For some reason I was the only one who found the whole thing rather amusing.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:12, closed)
clicks like Stephen Hawking's knackered wheel bearings.

(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:14, closed)
I will not buy this record
It is scratched.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:26, closed)
My nipples tingle with delight

(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:27, closed)
Drop your panties Sir Arthur
I cannot wait until lunchtime!!
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:32, closed)
You have lovely thighs.
I am no longer infected.
(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:27, closed)

My hovercraft is full of eels.

حَوّامتي مُمْتِلئة بِأَنْقَلَيْسون
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:36, closed)
I will not buy this tobacconists,,,
it is scratched.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:57, closed)

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