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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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I've always been a massive liar
so when my Year 1 teacher asked me what my Dad's job was during class I chose not to answer with the honest "Youth Worker", which even at the age of 6 struck me as mind-numbingly, pant-wettingly dull.

Instead I opted for - "Astronaut!"

Amazingly I seemed to get away with this, and everyone was suitably awe-struck and impressed. Unfortunately this also included said teacher, who asked if my astro-dad would be able to come and give a talk to the class about his amazing life.

Obviously this was an impossible request, but I've never been one to panic. Instead, I looked at her witheringly, and replied, "Of course he can't. He's in space."
(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 21:16, closed)

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