You'll all be doing it...
I have a very real fear of sitting on the toilet wrong.

Allow me to explain; a good while back now, while in a bit of a hurry I very nearly sat on half a bollock and ended up in some pain.

I think an example you can all work with is required:

- Take a grape and a surface edge, preferably one with a bit of a corner on it.

- Place said grape half on the table and half over the edge.

- Apply some downward pressure and watch grape tear along the edge and then essentially explode.

With this near miss always a present fear, no matter how desperate I am, those last few inches on to the toilet seat are veeeeeeeeeeery slow and even more precise.
(NDayave , Hooray For, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:15, closed)

But
Bollocks are waaaay tougher than grapes.

Well, chewier at least.


What?

Cheers
(Legless Internet Ninja - We Own The Net, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:16, )

Owwwwwwww!
*watches grapes in future*
( Bert Sexmonkey yeserooney, positooney ZIP ZAM ZOOM, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:18, )

If a man in a soho kareoke bar
offers you one of the chinese delicacies that he's eating, just say no.
(althegeordie is scared of zombies., Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:20, )

althegeordie is about to confess to having eaten balls!
*waits*
( Bert Sexmonkey yeserooney, positooney ZIP ZAM ZOOM, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:21, )

Nah......
You just grab 'em with your hand and lift 'em upwards.
(Big Smurf is cooking up his hemp, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:10, )

i feel sick
sick i tells ya
( spimf is strange and unnatural, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:50, )