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This is a question The Police

Sitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"

They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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Perks of being a copper.
Free drugs. Well occasionally. Best is when you pull some kid on a driving offense and find it as part of a search. Can normally swipe a some or all of it. Have made a few quid passing it on to some of the politer dealers.

Free feels. Town centre, nicking drunk girls, get to feel them up a bit and they donít remember. All deniable anyway especially if they're drunk - in my book, anything goes if you can get away with it.

Free food/drink. Seriously get bollocked for this but we can get loads of free coffee and things if you know where to go. We keep an extra eye out for those places, no harm in it.

Get to practise your own racial/social profiling. Bit controv this, officially not allowed to do it (of course) but we all do. I mean lets get real about this, you can normally tell what theyíve been up to. I donít mind them myself but some of the lads will have a right go at the asian ones. Personally itís the muzzies that give me the grief. And donít give me any crap on that, I see it every day.

Free sex. Happens weekly, if not more often. Pull over enough fit birds and it will happen, once/twice out of ten - "is there an on the spot fine I can pay now officer" usually works. Its not an offer of a bribe and with a raised eyebrow and the right sort of glance and theres always a deal to be had. Had some cracking blowjobs over the years. Tend not to shag them cos I donít want to catch anything.
(, Mon 26 Sep 2005, 14:09, closed)

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