Scrumping: A delightful tale from a 1970s rural idyll which may contain traces of vomit
We were young, we were stupid, it was the 1970s, and we thought it would be a great adventure to break into the local orchard and scrump their apples.

On those long, long summer evenings, we didn't even wait for it to get dark before the five of us vaulted the gate, pluck big, round apples off the trees and stuffed our pockets.

And there, as we climbed the gate to get out, was the village copper.

He lived four doors down from us, and I knew I'd be in for a rocket from my folks when he handed us over.

But: "Eat them?"

"What?"

"Eat them. Eat them ALL."

So we ate handfuls of the bitterest apples you could ever imagine. Apple after apple, and the taste got no better.

Then, as the first of us bowked rich, green vomit into the gutter, he let us stop and sent us on our way.

Lesson learned? The field a few hundred yards over had sweetcorn. Lovely, lovely sweetcorn.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 11 May 2011, 14:56, 8 replies)

You're either a hobbit or a flopsy bunny - which is it?

(sarcastic fringehead feet of clay, buns of steel, head of lettuce, Wed 11 May 2011, 15:30, closed)

Rabbits can climb trees to eat apples?

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 11 May 2011, 15:40, closed)

You were a rubbish scrumper
you should ave tasted em first ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 11 May 2011, 15:40, closed)

^ This
Although Scrumping is rubbish because you always end up with the shits anyway.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Wed 11 May 2011, 15:57, closed)

not so
I went scrumping last year and got a bag full of the most amazing apples - the way I see it is if the owners don't pick them and just leave them to fall, as these guys do, I'm actually doing them a favour by stealing their fruit
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:31, closed)

Lovely, lovely sweetcorn
I can smell hear it now:

"Poop them!"

"What?"

"Poop them. Poop them ALL."
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:02, closed)

1970s?
Sounds more like the 1930s to me?
(Robotnik, Thu 12 May 2011, 8:51, closed)

Ahhh memories...
I went "scrumping" for corn a few times when I were a lad...Only got properly threatened by a farmer once...and it really was only a warning shot he fired.
(Bushcricket, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:48, closed)