Breaking & entering my own home
The time was around '88 when I was in my mid-teens and constantly going out and about with my mates. On this one particular Saturday I visited a friends house down the road and upon returning home had discovered that I had left the house key in my room.

I was locked out and needed something or another before heading on to another location. I seem to remember it was fairly urgent and I couldn't wait the few hours for one of the other members of my family to return.

Thus, I remembered the sticky window around the back of the house. This was before we had double glazing installed so the windows were fairly old with nothing resembling locks on them. I should explain that this window had 3 panes with the central pane that could be opened outwards and kept shut by a simple handle. One of the side panes had a smaller rectangular pane in the top that could also be opened outward and it was this section I was looking at.

Our house had an extension built in the 70's so access to the 1st floor was fairly easy by means of using the side gate in the alley (semi-detached house). I gave the small window pane a few experimental tugs but it was firmly stuck in place due to a combination of the window frame having slightly warped and dried on paint. I paid my friend down the road another visit and he agreed to help me out and so there we were, two teens pulling on a window frame trying to gain access to my home.

Of course, what I hadn't thought about was how dodgy it would look as my house was on a block which meant that there were a row of houses which backed on to the end of my garden (which funnily enough is how blocks are built). It was from the house that was directly opposite mine that the occupant spied us opening the small window pane and me reaching in and opening the central window and climbing in.

After securing the window it took me a whole two minutes to find the item I required, pick up the house key and exit the house and walk a short distance down the road where me and my mate started having a chat with another mate who had just come out of his house.

Five minutes later an unmarked van followed by an unmarked car and two squad cars come roaring down the road and screech to a halt outside my house. A dozen police pile out of the van and some run up the alleyway while the rest stand outside the front door.

Queue much puzzlement by myself as I wonder just what the hell is going on as this is all going down. I wander back down the road to the house and introduce myself as one of the occupants and which point one of the officers ask me if I have recently been in the house. It's at this point that my brain finally cottons on to what it is all about and what follows is fifteen minutes of explaning and showing them about the house/garden to show everything is fine.

The police were quite understanding about it all and didn't make a big fuss and were on their way with just a few words of advice about getting the window pane sorted out.

The fun part came later when trying to explain it to the parents thought they did eventually see the funny side to it.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:30, Reply)