Well I don't know how posh this makes me
But my great-great-grandmother was a maid in the service of Captain Webb and she was pregnant when she was fired, so I may be a descendant of the celebrated Victorian stuntman and channel-swimmer (and since he never married, his only bloodline). He wasn't very posh, though, since he spent his days doing stupid and dangerous things for money.

Whenever I go back to my home town of Walsall I'm always greeted by some hairy-backed, shaven-headed neanderthal in an England shirt, who upon hearing my softened accent will proclaim "Yow'm posh intcha?" so loud that the whole pub turns around, just because I don't talk in a black country dialect.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:26, Reply)

Posh Students
I go to a college that has a massive rivalry with a certain agricultural college at Cirencester. Apologies if anyone actually attends this "college" but it is full of young toffs who drive souped up Landrovers (courtesy of Daddy, obviously) and who single handedly keep the tweed jacket and Hunter wellies market going.

They hate us just as much as we hate them because we're apparently all poor and common as we don't have CB radios and massive wheels on our 4x4's. If you want to see real class rivalry, you should come to one of our rugby matches. Its like a mini riot with police and stuff being thrown and everything.
( Farmer Cat ...loving cheese scones since, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:24, Reply)

That bird off Emmerdale
The one who plays Zoe - Cute with black hair.

If you ever speak to her in real life you will find out she sounds INCREDABLY posh - however I once sold her a wheel barrow when I worked in Focus, so she's not that posh.

Apologies for lack of excitement/humour - length was ok tho?
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:21, Reply)

I'm dead posh, me
Has anyone ever seen that film, possibly with Robin Williams, where all the extended Royal Family die while having their photograph taken? So he becomes king, and hilarity ensues? No?

Well, imagine absolutely bloody hundreds of people getting killed while having their photograph taken. Then I'd be the queen. Go far enough back in my family tree and I'm related to King John, of Robin Hood fame!

Now kiss my feet, underlings.
( kikilookeylikey, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:20, Reply)

I work for a national newspaper..
..and have had several comedy moments involving posh loon meister Boris Johnson including such varied incidents as watching him wring out his sweat soaked shirt half naked in our office after cycling across London for a meeting, swearing uncontrolably at a policeman thanks to a bottle of Warrs '77 then getting off scott free when they clocked who he was and my personal favourite....

...cutting a filth biscuit in the lift and blaming it on Michael Portillo.

Ps: $wift - As you know, Orpington isn't a posh suburb, it has one massive council estate for re housed pikeys and a depressing 1960's concrete High St. You've obviously never been to Godalming.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:20, Reply)

Actors always sound posh.
I once bumped into Judy Dench in a pub. She was v. nice and smiled when I said sorry. The poshest voice I've ever heard.

The second most a couple of eeks ago was Peter O'Toole's - he was going for a drink in the George and Dragon on Cleveland St.

BTW lemonymillenniumbaboon? A germ of an idea for you. Have you ever seen Kind Hearts & Coronets?
(Doctor Evil, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:09, Reply)

Posh...
I'm so posh I don't shit... ever!

Fact.
(The Duke of Pontefract, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:09, Reply)

I once went to the Lady Ratlings ball in London.
I would've felt really out of place there if ti weren't for the fact that Dora Bryant was at the head table and absolutely off her trolley! Made me piss myself it did!

Tony Blackburn and Sir John Mills were there too!
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:08, Reply)

Jojo
I know this guy called Jojo.

He is by far the most cliché posh person I have ever met in my WHOLE life.

He wears chino's whatever the weather, open collar shirts and boating shoes. Always.

He's racist, completely judgmental and generally a completely weapon. Thinks he can 'knock one through' his cleaner whenever he wants 'cause she's from Eastern Europe.

I actually really really hate this boy, partially because he thinks I'm scum. I once joked that I was pregnant and he told me (no joke) that is was 'frightfully common to be a single mother'.

So, basically this makes him a complete and utter CNUT.

I barely ever use the C word but if you met you'd understand.

Nuff said.
( Argh. There be scallys in the ranks., Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:05, Reply)

definition of POSH
POSH is derived from the cruising term of Port Out Starboard Home which was so the rich people did'nt need to see land when they left from the south coast to America, fact. I saw the QM2 being named by HRH so I suppose that is the ultimate poshest thing I ever did see or meet!

*apologies fieldingMellish did'nt realise you had already posted definition, I hate me for copying!!
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 11:01, Reply)

My fambly's got a duchy in Germany
But a lot of people have to die before I get my hands on teh money.
I have often toyed with the idea of a King Ralph style family 'get-togther'.

Shocking.
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:58, Reply)

My grandad
Is quite well off, classic cars, had one of those brick mobiles before anyone else, pool, trophy wife, that sort of thing.

How did he amass his money? Maybe he was a shrewd businessman? Perhaps

Gangster? Nope

Inside trader? Doubt it.

A gay older man left him it in his will.

Make of that what you will (pun intended)

No apologies for graphic visual imagery.
(Slyph, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:57, Reply)

I'm by no means posh...
...but from the ages of four to seven I lived in Barcelona due to parental work commitments. My dad, being on a pretty good salary, chose to send me and my brother to the private international school rather than one of the rough inner-city Spanish educational establishments.

Anyway, my school, being newly built back then (late 80s), and named after an affluent area of London (Kensington), had the Queen invited to come and officially 'open' it. It was to be a rather large affair, with the press, parents and a number of assorted people invited to come along and wave mini Union Jacks while the old bat did things like shake hands with the headmaster, address the adoring crowd, uncover a plaque, etc.

My class was asked to draw a picture of her, to show how much we appreciated her being there. However being six I didn't really know or care who the Queen was or what she looked like.

Anyway, at one point during the day a woman came into my classroom to have a nosey about. 'And what is that?' she asked, pointing at my picture.

'It's the Queen,' replied I, not taking any real interest in who I was talking to.

'Oh,' she said, and walked off.

The woman who'd come to look at my picture?

Only our bloody monarch, I was later informed.

It's not my fault I didn't know who she was - she'd have been more recognisable if she'd been wearing a bloody crown!
( The Helpful Bear, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:56, Reply)

madrabbit
posh: definition:

in my understanding the term 'posh' refers to someone of the correct breeding. usually to do with aristocrats, nobles, the yachting fraternity, tumbling down castles and massive debts and piceless heirlooms. bolinger and cavier etc...

it is little to do with the money you have now, although it must SEEM you have money. its all to do with your family seven generations back and how much money they owned. and which side they fought on in the civil war. and how many royals they have befriended/saved/seduced.

if you have an original 'van meer' you are posh. if you have an original poster from 'the shining you' are not ;)
(unlawful odour i dunno..., Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:53, Reply)

French poshness
Eh-up,
According to an old family story (which is almost certainly true - it's recorded in the family tree), a French nobleman had a liaison with one of my ancestors, sometime late in the 19th century. Naturally enough, a further ancestor was the result.

However, any blue-bloodedness I may wish to claim (not that I do) is rather cancelled out by her being a, er, "lady of the night" as they might say at that time. That's the closest I come to being posh - apart from going to a state grammar school with a chip on its shoulder - and thank **** for that!

*Edit* - Just remembered - my fiancee's stepfather claims descent from Irish kings. However, his surname is very close to a word which Wikipedia desribes as a state "one up from being a slave." I know which option I go for...
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:49, Reply)

My family married into Poshness...
My Uncle used to work for the Bank of England and dabbled in merry corruption of third-world countries in the name of setting up their currency systems (I don't think you can be properly posh without having ripped off a country). Like most posh people he is also a rampant pervert, with a huge porn collection and erotic statues about the place. On top of that he enjoys the finer things in life so is also pretty fat and in declining health. Other symptoms of his poshness include wanton racism, sexism and an awesome collection of funny stories (mostly involving the aforementioned).

The rest of my family is first-generation middle class, thus not posh and boring. Although somehow I ended up with a seriously posh accent. Which is a happy accident of being born in Devon, living in London for a teeny bit and then moving back to Somerset whilst I was a kid. Subsequently everyone assumes I'm an arsehole, which I have yet to disprove.

Popped my cherry, sorry it was a bit dull.
(mehmeh 0% witty, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:44, Reply)

Poshness sucks
I myself am from Kent, not a very posh bit I must admit, but I can speak posh if I wants to.

But anyway, the poshest person I've ever met is the leader of the the County Council at work, I installed his pc for him in his wood panelled office which even had a fireplace FFS! With a portrait of some guy on a horse surrounded by dogs and dead foxes or somethin. I think the painting was of himself but this thing was like 12 feet tall and 4 foot wide, seriously large! So surrounded by leather bound tomes of old council bollocks i trundled in with me trolley with his new pc, and said in my best estuary english:

(phonetic for you pedants)

"Awight maate, ha ya doin?"

to which he said:

"Excuse me!"

So I said:
"Awight maate! wherdya want the computer to go then"

He looked angry that a commoner was in his office so he just pointed to the desk and went out.


How I laughed as I wiped my schlong round his coffe mug.
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:42, Reply)

posh people i've met
Never sure if posh means rich & famous, or just rich. But here are some of the posh famous I've encountered:

-- George Lucas. He is a fucking dwarf.
-- Barry Bonds. We were on the same plane, then I stood behind him and his ginormous bodyguard, on the airport moving sidewalk, about a year before said ginormous bodyguard died during stomach-reduction surgery.
-- At college Uni, I met a Rockerfeller. I didn't know we still had those.

Your English english is so confusing to us simple colonial settlers. I hope these people are posh, or if I am befuddled, that you will forgive us the fog over our land, which I believe was created by a cursed talking monkey, whose magical power is to increase the stupidity of every American by 30 percent.

At least, that's the only explanation I have...
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:42, Reply)

I'm in line to the throne..!
... of all Ireland.
Seriously, my distant ancestors were Norsemen who conquored / colonised Ireland and united it under one high king for the first time ever.

All I have to do to reclaim my sacred birthright is unite Ireland, reinstate the monarchy, and assassinate all 14 hundred thousand other male-line descendent members of the clan...
If that sounds like a dastardly plot, rest assured it is. I've even got a widow's peak and a goatee.

Yes! Soon the throne will be mine!!! Muwhahahaha!! *rubs hands in glee*
( no cake for the impuritay Patrick Stewart hasn't aged since, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:41, Reply)

Poshiness
My blokes family are ever so posh, well his dad is and his mother aspires to be the queen.
At dinners she will have a small side salad and "toy" with it until everyone has finished eating - she saw a documentary on HRH and was inspired. She has a bowl of salt and a salt spoon "never a salt pot dear - that's sooo common". She calls muesli "merrsley" for some reason only she knows.
I love the fact that I am pure council estate, single parent stock, and how utterly dissapointed she feels that her baby boy didn't shack up with Lady Featherington-Smythe and produce hoardes of chinless babies called Tarquin.
( Ethel Le Crisp, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:40, Reply)

Picnic Anyone ?
Dad's family are proper posh, decended from the Percys dontchaknow (If anyone knows what that means I would be grateful etc etc) and Mum's family used to eat a handfull of hot gravel every morning before working 18 hours in the pit and then their parents would whip them asleep with their belts..... I am kind of a mixture.

One thing I insist on is that picnics are done properly. By properly I mean.....table, table-cloth, chairs, candelabra, plates, glasses, champagne nicely chilled, nothing from Tesco, you know the sort of thing. I find this behaviour especially welcome at School Picnics at the local Comprehensive School where the odd sprinkling of loose change usually comes up with a temporary butler and miscellaneous serving staff.
( Spackweasel - because weasels get Downs Syndrome too, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:40, Reply)

When travelling by steamer to the Colonies.....
.....I always travel port out, starboard home, don't'cha know?
(FieldingMellish, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:36, Reply)

stupid Mercan may be uncertain of the qualifications for posh...
since we mostly apply the word "posh" to interior decorating over here. But me and mine, we're so damn posh, we live in Silicon Valley -- and we don't rent, we own! That's pretty damn posh.

Ps: I like the new comment about comments. I hate having to read backwards... also I've never been on page one before. Yay.
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:32, Reply)

Quite posh
Once dressed as posh whilst watching peterborough united sat in the royal box eating caviar and drinking bollinger champagne chatting about posh things like fox hunting and bloody immigrants.

I made that up i'm about as posh as Tesco value biscuits.
( cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:26, Reply)

Orpington
I live in the posh little suberb of orpington, my mum is all no elbows on the table etc and i used to go to a grammar school but got kicked out for drug use, so now i am sittin in the local comprehnsive avec chavs

But other than that i am as common as muck

in class atm

6th not bad
($wift, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:26, Reply)

Henley on Thames
I originate from here.

I AM posh. Well, in theory I should be...

Although I'm not 'Pony pony Rah Rah' posh, regardless of what my screen name suggests.

And I know people who actually having swimming pools and hot tubs in their gardens.

Posh by association?

Nah. I drink to much White Lightning for that.
( Argh. There be scallys in the ranks., Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:19, Reply)

Conflicting views
Having a slight northern accent and living down south, I get called posh by the townies and an uncultured yob by the oxfordites.

It's all so confusing.
(freddiestarfish, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:16, Reply)

Not posh but great
I met Joe Strummer once. He bought me a pint.

Oh and my father-in-law's cousin was married to the High Commissioner of Australia. Or was it Grand High Wallaby Wizard. Something like that.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:16, Reply)

When I Was A Boy.
I grew up in the 60's and I can vaguely remember having an outside bog. I can also remember when we went through a massive modernisation program for the council housing that we lived in. When it was all complete we had wonderful indoor plumbing.

I remember thinking how posh we were that we could now shit in the house......

Going to adding to this one a few times today methinx.....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 10:15, Reply)