This QOTW...
...should be good for late entries.

I managed to make three typos in the above, and another just now. Though (4) I've now corrected them, I should really learn to type (5) one of these (6) days.

On the upside, I can delete at eleventy words (7) per minute.
(ThomsonsPier is mistrustful of the words you say, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:20, Reply)

It's friday afternoon
Time to slow down at work and go on facebook to look up old schoolfriends and laugh at their stupid faces.
(teebie jeebie, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:13, 3 replies)

I was ill during my second year of university
but it wasn't something that I felt I could apply to be treated as personal mitigating circumstances. Because I worked stupid long hours aswell as studying full time, I generally went without sleep for most of the year. Consequently, I failed 4 of my 7 modules and had to re-take them over the summer.

So I collected the assignments on June 17th, for hand in on August 16th. When did I do them? Keeping in mind that this was my last chance to void having to repeat the year, did I learn from my previous mistake? No. No I didn't. I did 4 assignments over a three day period.

It all worked out okay in the end though. I figured that, since you can only get 40% on a reassessment anyway, to start earlier and work harder would be wasted effort.
(Santa Clauswitheringlicktacklefeff won't ask if you don't tell, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:12, Reply)

I was going to check
on whether anyone has posted an answer that said "I was going to post an answer here, but I'm putting it off", but I'm putting it off.
(Santa Clauswitheringlicktacklefeff won't ask if you don't tell, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:58, Reply)

lack of funnies
I procrastinate so much at work that I end up going home late (ie, quarter past five!!!) because I am putting off stopping my procrastination and getting up.
sorry for the lack of funnies.
(pins, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:53, 4 replies)

I was once so bored
I decided to do a Danny Wallace and get people to join me for no reason. It kind of worked too, I got about 20 or 30 people, most of whom hadn't heard of Mr Wallace's exploits (I chose to keep schtum about his books).

Anyway, Danny had done something wonderful with his cult, so I figured to avoid looking like a complete rip off I would get them to be evil. But what is automatically evil?

Well, hating Jews.

And what in the world symbolises fun and happiness, something we could destroy?

Well, clowns. And cartoons.

With my 3 commandments in place I sent my minions out into the world, vandalising posters for cartoons, assaulting clowns and making offensive gestures at Rabbis. But because I only had 20 followers, they were spread a little thin. How could I concentrate their efforts? If only there was a way that Jews, Clowns and Cartoons could be brought together...

Then it hit me. I revealed all to my army and they became the most efficient hit squad since the SAS.

We were the Pro Krusty Haters.

...Jeeeesus, still 40 minutes till I can go home...sorry everyone.
(GONEism, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:52, Reply)

In the first year of University
I lived in the student village in a house of 4 people, including myself.

My housemates Nicole and Sam, Phil's girlfriend who was always there and I all had deadlines which prevented us from going out one weekend and the fourth housemate, Phil didn't so had gone out with his real friends.

So this is a nice procrastination story mixed with a little bit of jealousy.

As he had the downstairs bedroom we though it not only hilarious but also a good way to avoid work to move the entire contents of his room, the bed, desk, computer, even the posters on the walls and set it up exactly the same in the living room, with the living room furniture the same in what was his real bedroom.
The plan went swimmingly and due to laziness on our part we didn't bother moving the TV so he came home to find us sitting on his bed, now located in the living room, watching crap TV.
Unfortunately, that evening he had a massive argument with his mates and come home early in a bad mood to sulk.
He almost ripped our faces off.

We are sure he would have found it funny too if he wasn't such a spoilsport.
(ecilA Alice...has nothing to do, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:52, Reply)

www.sporcle.com/games
YOU WILL NEVER BE BORED AGAIN. These games make you think so they keep your brain going while you take breaks.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:45, 5 replies)

Cleaning
I clean anything and everything to avoid work. I will go to great lengths to get certain things clean.
For example - essay due, dirty motorbike downstairs. Take apart the motorbike and clean all the parts. Spray everything with 3 in 1. Polish the bodywork.
Get back upstairs a few hours later? No problem, the dishes look a bit dirty. Best wash them all and dry them.
Get back into my room - pencil on the wall? Looks like it's time for a full room tidy and wash the walls whilst I'm at it!
That takes care of half the day. Perhaps I should take a well earned break and cook something to eat. Result - more cleaning.
Repeat ad nauseam
(vks24, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:42, 1 reply)

I am Spanish

that is all.
(NakedApe Can I play with badness?, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:36, Reply)

Mañana is the busiest day of the week
But to be honest that thing I was going to get done could probably wait until the day after that. Because, you know, I've got all these other really important things to do like ... oh look, kittens.
(cheez is feeling ergophobic, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:35, Reply)

I used to have a website
when I lost my server space (a long story) I kept my domain name and most of the info from the site but I've never bothered to put up a new site...

even though I ought to have one for work...

even though it will generate new work for me...

even though it will impress people (unlikely, but I can hope)....

All because I can't be arsed to put it together again and sort out a new server.

I honestly believe that secretly I'm doing this in order to avoid the possibility of failure - if I don't try I can't fail at it.

Alternatively I'm just bone idle.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Hard work...
Hard work pays off in the long run.

But laziness pays off now.

That is all.
(Ginger_Whinger wants to walk like you, talk like you, it's true., Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:26, Reply)

I don't have much luck with my story writing
There I was, just 50 words from the end of me epic 100,000 word long novel (which took me all of 4 years to write, so there's your procrastinatin'), and the bastard crashed. There I sat, duff laptop on my lap, weeping on the platform at Kings Cross.

My prose crashed in station.
(GONEism, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:24, 3 replies)

Never do today...

...what can't wait until tomorrow
(NakedApe Can I play with badness?, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:23, 3 replies)

I think I've perfected the art of procrastination.
I think I spend more time and effort in putting off bits of work, than I would actually spend in just getting on with the job.

For example: I'm meant to be updating my website with review quotes for our titles. I can just copy and paste these quotes in from the online reviews. However, I print each review off, carefully label it with the month and publication/website it came from, and the catalogue number it refers to. Then I read each review through carefully, to select the best phrases. Then I type them up. Then I format it in html to make it look pretty.

After updating reviews for each title, I take a short break to play an online game, check for new QOTW entries on b3ta, or get a cup of water.

Updating the reviews section of the website is a task that will never be fully finished, thanks to my inability to just sodding get on with it.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Colouring in and drawing
As I’ve mentioned here before, I am setting up a social business empowering marginalised women. For someone who hated having a boss, self employment is a fabulous idea, no-one telling me what to do, it’s all up to me even if I am skint and knackered all the time, I do still love it, honest. I get to decide what I do when, how much work I do at a time, I can get to the post office outside lunch hours and not have to wait while thirty seven people each get told they have brought the wrong paperwork to tax their car. And I am naturally quite organised and ordered, so things to tend to get done.

But herein lies the problem. There is no-one telling me what to do. There is no ‘I’m going to be late’ panic if I wake up at ten, or even two, as my dining table/office isn’t exactly far away and I can work late into the night. I set my own deadlines. I have a time line and a project plan, but an hour or two here and there watching Diagnosis Murder or sleeping seem so insignificant, especially when I am doing so many different things (trademarks, market research, funding bids, trying to find women to come and work, devising training plans, finding trainers, sourcing suppliers, sorting childcare, trying to set up a competition to get designs, looking for premises, getting info to open a bank account, liaising with lovely web people and bookkeepers that are doing the bits I can’t to name just a few) it seems I’ll never finish anyway. Things tend to get done…eventually.

Idly musing on organisational tactics as I walked home from a meeting this morning, a brainwave struck me. If I had a giant piece of paper, I could draw up a huge plan, with columns for each separate thing I am working on and see, at a glance, what needed doing. Realising this would make things much easier, I got quite excited. When I realised I could colour code it, I got really really excited. Remember drawing up revision timetables? Mine were works of art, they took whole days to get right and code with all the perfect colours.

Even though I cannot find such a big piece of paper, the excitement has a hold of me, and in possibly my most splendid procrastination so far, this afternoon, I am going to walk up to the local shops and see if any of them have any giant promotional posters in storage that I can beg/recycle. And then I am going to buy/find/borrow some coloured pens. And then I am going to come home, clear the dining table where I work, and get drawing.

It’ll take hours.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:08, 10 replies)

Procratination itself
The greatest labour saving device in the world...

Tomorrow!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:08, Reply)

Parties
I have to have parties twice a year or I would never do any house work at all.

I put it off for ever and ever until the shame at the thought of other people seeing the horrible reality finally gets through to me and I go into mad cleaning frenzy.

Although, maybe that could be an excuse to have more parties!

Yay!!
(misspiggy Is no longer working Fridays - yay!, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:06, Reply)

This isn't a big deal,
but I finally got around to doing a literature review for this shitbit class... two weeks after it was due. I did everything in three hours the morning before it was due (the due date was made specially for me by the professor, yay!) and it was the WORST piece of shit I've ever written.

I got a 41 mark on it. Buuuuut, it was a 61! 20 points was just taken off for it being late.
(yourworldwontcollapse reminds you, it isn't incest after second cousins!, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:54, Reply)

Pants
Call it laziness, call it mental illness if you like but I hate going shopping to the extent that I order anything and everything online.

The elastic on my undergarments was starting to give so I had a look on ebay.

"John Lewis mens briefs brand new in box" it said on the item description. "They'll do" says I and paid my money.

A couple of days later the seller contacted me and informed me that the item was damaged and did I still want to go through with the sale. Me, thinking that the box was bent or something said "yeah sure, knock a bit off the price if you like". He refunded me 24p.

Another couple of days passed and a parcel arrived. "How exciting" I thought as I ripped it open "I can't wait to see my new plain white John Lewis briefs"*.

I held the box in my hand and noticed that it was ripped. Someone had obviously taken one of the pants out just to have a look at. "That explains the 24p off" I mutter silently to myself.

I pulled out the top pair of pants and as I did so, noticed the shimmer of a short curly hair fall from the packet to the floor. "Hmmm". I held up the pants to the window light and there, looking like the morning sun in Autumn, was a large yellow piss-stain.

I was all for putting them through the wash but the missus made me chuck them. She also made me hoover thoroughly to catch that elusive pubic hair.

There's a moral in there somewhere.

* OK, it wasn't that exciting really.
( stopmeandslapme Buggering belief since, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:39, 2 replies)

A bin
I was a bin-man in the early nineties. And many pleasant things (porn) did I find.

One week I was emptying a public bin in Burton Latimer, near Kettering, and I found a photo book.

Usually these would be of some Fiesta's wives scatty photos so I had a quick look through. And they were all war photos. Young men posing with guns, dead Iraqis, dead British soldiers, carnage. They were horrific.

I wondered about the poor bastard who had finally put them in a public bin, perhaps to banish the memories or at the least to hide them from family members. I think about that a lot.

The fact is I should have mentioned this story last week.
(prescottsflu infected you at, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:36, Reply)

I got a 2:2

by doing nowhere near the recommended amount of work and reading. You might say that the course was too esy or lenient, but many people got thirds or dropped out.

Makes me wonder what I could be if I could be arsed, ever...
(NakedApe Can I play with badness?, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:31, 6 replies)

I once watched an entire double episode of
"Everybody Loves Raymond" because I couldn't be arsed to get up and find the remote.



I don't love Raymond.
(NakedApe Can I play with badness?, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:28, 9 replies)

My lazy mate Sean
He *used* to put things off all the time, but then in a strange fit of activity he changed his name to Bernard, grew dreadlocks and joined a computer club where he developed a real talent for writing subroutines in BBC Basic. I guess you could say he was a PROC Rasta né Sean.
(Rear Admiral Cockbrush MBE wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:20, 2 replies)

Everyone who's posted before this post
is disqualified.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 13:57, 1 reply)

what's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
i don't know, and i don't care.

in other more upsetting news (for me), ignoring the damp patches around my bath for months failed to cure the problem. now i have:

1 no shower
2 £750 to re-tile and re-connect the shower, which is fine except that i am having a new bathroom imminently and don't really want to waste £750 for tiles that will be ripped out shortly. but the novelty of washing long and very thick hair in the bath with a jug wore off. before it started, in actual fact)
3 ruined carpet
4 a really pissed off neighbour underneath me(the block is quite posh, and he is a bloody italian count) with a ruined bathroom ceiling (see the italian count bit. surely he can afford a bit of painterino?!)

thinking, hmmm, the floor is a bit wet, oh well, i'll procrastinate tomorrow is expensive, it seems...
( rachelswipe why am i still at work? it's fucking friday night!, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 13:41, 4 replies)

b3ta ads
I can't help noticing the adverts at the top of the page:

End Procrastination Now
Break This Bad Habit Easily With This Free Program Now!
BetterLivingWithHypnosis.com

Stop Procrastinating
Discover powerful techniques to overcome procrastination.

Can't be bothered finding out what they're all about though.
(Rear Admiral Cockbrush MBE wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 13:40, Reply)