Lazy parenting.....
...the 20 month old baby is nagging me for something as I sit in the living room, feet up on the sofa playing my DS. Something to do with "Gu-don" whatever the fuck that is. The time is 2pm and I really can't be arsed, so on comes the TV. The baby starts smiling and I think "Yeah, I'm a good dad, she's not crying."
After a good 20 seconds the baby is getting a bit bored with the Politics program that I'd left on (oops), so I pick up the remote and channel hop for her. After a few presses (and curses under my breath for the lack of responce from pressing half the buttons on the remote) I find some arty program which is starting. The baby seems excited by this and sits down in her bouncer which is right in front of the box, creating an audience of one with the telly. I glance past her and see a strange display.
Some animated feature as far as I could make out. It's all dark at the start and the prodigy of the story is experiencing some sort of trip while in a dingy. He's taken something; the director's got it moving 1 frame per sec and the screen is jerking along until the prodigy passes out. He's gone blue too, which doesn't fill me with confidence. The screen fades out slowly while some guitar music is slowly and calmy played in the background, as if our hero is transcending to euphoria before passing on. He then appears in a small meadow, the green of the grass is all around, some trees in the distance and our hero walking among it. He seems happy with the ignorant bliss of his impending passing, not a care in the world.
With that, a 2nd character wonders on the screen pushing a strange looking bicycle. He looks odd in proportion; a small stocky brown man and a head shaped a little bit like Stewie's from Family Guy. Maybe he's his conscience thinks I. Maybe he will lead him to salvation, or back to the real world. He approaches the hero, who is grinning like an idiot at the stranger.
".....macca pacca...." says the fat one.
Eh? I pick up the remote and find that "Takeshi's Castle" has started, fucking A1.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 10:36, 11 replies)

Kite Jr
was plonked in front of George W Bush's inauguration speach, and King Hussain of Jordan's funeral. She seemed to enjoy them.
(kitescreech still here, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 10:58, closed)

*searches BNP list for Kite Jr*
nope, not on it :p
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 10:59, closed)

Iggle Piggle Rocks
As the electronic nanny does its job, my attention turns to the cork screw. Impeccable timing is required as one cannot impart goodnight kisses stinking too highly of rioja
(conanow, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 11:38, closed)

Takeshis Castle
Awesome program ripe for a bloody good laugh!
(scowners shagged his mum on, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 11:39, closed)

yey for suicidal foreigners.....
...oh wait a min.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 11:43, closed)

I'm watching my seven month old niece today
And I'm also reading b3ta, she's sitting on my desk, in front of my keyboard at the moment. I feel kind of guilty but she's laughing, so I suppose she's happy, and I've just spent an hour singing along with the same six nursery rhymes in her electronic book thingy, I deserve it!
(St. Dymphna, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 12:09, closed)

Roly Mole
Now thats one btard that needs a good kicking, But your right the kids are never happier than when Screaming "Daisy" and "Pink Ponk".

Ignore the nappy as well its the way forward (although its taking your life in your hands, and I recon you'd only last 30 secs with your other half).
(sproutout Aardvarks you gotta love 'em, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 12:40, closed)

I like the night garden
Macca pacca is the name of the one with the stewie shaped head

From behind he looks like a tit with a brown nipple

I like him he has OCD

Uppsy Daisy though is an irritating bitch
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 15:34, closed)

We got toys for the baby
Iggle Piggle and Upsey Daisy.

To wind up the babes, I re-enact Wrestlemania 21's classic bout of Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar, a 1/2 hour bout where eventually after Kurt re-broke his neck and Brock nearly killed himself after a failed moonsault attempt Brock took the victory.

This with dolls is hilarious.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 17:00, closed)

makka pakka
makka pakka isnt quite as cool as iggle piggle...the blue one
in the night garden was clearly conceived on drugs
(littlebusstudiesone, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 16:21, closed)

Anne Wood and her band of merry pagans at the Beeb ...
are the evil buggers behind all this toddler synapse twiddling.

In the Night Garden is only the most recent of their exercises in pyschedelic child warping.

Does anyone remember Boohbah? Same mob but with an extra dollop of utter weirdness. Those little kewpie doll things look just like uncircumcised willies the way their heads roll out of their fat fuzzy necks.

Or is that just me?
(Que?, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 4:14, closed)