Sleeping beauty?
On a Ryan Air no frills flight from Dublin back to Bristol, I found myself sitting next to some David Brent type suit who was boring the arse off the poor Irish lad in the window seat about the importance of his job and how respected by everyone he was. The obnoxious bastard wasn’t being quiet about it either, pretty much everyone on the plane was a captive audience for this wannabe Gordon Gecko and I could see heads turning and mutterings of “oh shut the fuck up” which were either ignored or didn’t make it past his internal monologue.

After about 15 minutes of this my brain said to my body “Well you can stay but I’m outta here” and I promptly fell asleep, something I rarely do on public transport. I must have slept for about 30 minutes because I woke up and we were just coming into land. The atmosphere on the plane had changed, people were giggling and I could see the stewards at the front of the plane were in fits of laughter. I was a bit groggy, I had a crick in my neck and I had to wipe the drool off my chin but the bloke next to me had shut up which was a bonus.

As soon as we landed and were able to get off, the suit next to me got up quick as a flash, shot me a dirty look and was the first off the plane accompanied by sarcastic calls of “byeee” from the other passengers. People were looking at me and nodding with approving looks on their faces, an air stewardess shot me a really saucy smile and a male steward patted me on the back as I left the plane. A bit confused, I made my way down the steps, across the tarmac and into the baggage claim area. Somebody said “there he is” and people started to come up to me, patting my back and generally wanting to speak to me. “What the fuck?” I enquired of my new admirers…

Apparently, after I had entered the land of nod, the arse next to me kept up his tirade of self-appreciation, but I had fallen asleep in a really weird position. My head was back and at an angle, my jaw hung open and my eyes appeared to have rolled back into their sockets. Word had spread around the plane and people were getting up to use the toilet just so they could get a look at the loud monotonous fucker who was making their flight a misery and the bloke next to him who had died of boredom.

Eventually, a large Irish gentleman stopped in the aisle next to me and said loudly and firmly to the suit, “Poor fellow, didn’t stand a chance sat next to you did he?” which was followed by howls of laughter from passengers and crew alike. Or so I was told.

Apologies for being a bit off topic. It’s hardly “The worst public transport experience ever”, nobody got stabbed or mugged or puked on, but it’s all I’ve got.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 29 May 2008, 17:24, 5 replies)

*clicks*
I don't care how off topic you think this is, this has made me laugh like a mong for 20 minutes, which is the nicest thing anyone could have done for me today.

It's a wonderful wonderful mental image.

*splutters laughing again*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 29 May 2008, 19:07, closed)

quality :D
*cleek*
( discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 20:36, closed)

hahahahahaha
that's a superb story!

*click*
( Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 30 May 2008, 3:17, closed)

.
Class
(MrBlue ding!, Fri 30 May 2008, 16:11, closed)

Brilliant!
CLICK.
(eesnahk, Fri 30 May 2008, 20:22, closed)