A bloke once
tried to put his 8==> in my (_!_)

He said he thought it was my {|} but I think he was lying.

He should've been ashamed of himself. Especially since all he had to do was ask nicely.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:33, 17 replies)

Ducky ole boy
This is not one of your best I have to admit.

But I think the answer of "best mate's friend" on said best mate's sofa in her living room wasn't among my highlights.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:33, 5 replies)

WHO?????????






WHYYY?????????
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:31, Reply)

I got it caught in a chest of drawers once
I really dont know how, I was quite young
( epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Yay
Changed to 'a' penis now.

Thanks.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:29, Reply)

Picking QOTW topics by jizzing over a list and seeing where the jitler lands.

( Zuowan, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:28, Reply)

worst qotw
ever. ever.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:27, 3 replies)

Well you can all suck my non-existent cock
You wouldn't be doing this if we could rape you with our boobies, would you?

*bap attack!*
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:26, 6 replies)

The thing I'm most ashamed of doing with a penis?
It was back in 1997.

My vote helped put one in power and put another in charge of the economy.

Boy, do I feel shameful now.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:26, 2 replies)

Bloody hell. Last.
And I asked for a new question, and got it, by jove!

No fear, no shame, so no answer.

I fucked a ladyboy once, yet I'm still not ashamed.

Hey ho.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:26, Reply)

At the age of 4
I separated the join a hoola-hoop (not the crisp) and put my willy in the open tubular end of it and did a wee. The wee came out of the other end.
They were not impressed with me at the nursery.
( turb0t, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:25, Reply)

If I had one
I'd use it to piss all over these fucking useless QOTWs we've been having lately.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:24, 2 replies)

Its ALL about WHERE you stick it
I once stuck mine through the letterbox of an estate agents in St Albans..it was about 3 am, I needed a wee wee and I decided that since Estate Agents are a complete and utter bunch of shitcunts that it would be entirely appropriate to relieve myself through their letterbox..it was a great dissapointment that a patrol from Hertfordshire Police should drive past at that exact moment and arrest me for urniating in a public place. I was also later charged with criminal damage and the whole sorry affair cost me a £500 fine
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:23, 4 replies)

A ha ha ha ha
It's funny because it says Penis.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Shafting half a watermelon
that was filled with lube. Or spaffing on the toilet seats at school.
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Spending far too long...
...trying to see if I could get it into my own mouth. Being very flexible when I was a young lad (and hung like a shire horse, obviously), I did just about manage to get the end in with a bit of effort.

To be honest, it's not worth it anyway. Sucking yourself off is a bit like tickling yourself - doesn't really work, especially because it's quite uncomfortable when you have to prop yourself up against the bedroom wall upside down.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:22, 7 replies)

thinking up qotws with it.
Love Scaryduck.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:21, 3 replies)

Oh joy, another amazing QOTW
Better than the last one, but it would probably be impossible to think of a worse one.

Inspired by this, I take it?
(username1, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:19, 1 reply)

At a BBQ
Putting a bread roll around it and asking people if that was enough meat for them.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:19, 3 replies)

The time I had to phone work
to say I was sick.

My boss asked me how sick?

I had to say 'well, i've got my penis in my sister'



(I'll come back with a real story when I've plucked up the courage to tell it)

Edit: 8th, and the fourth involving a family member. This could be another long week.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:19, Reply)

I don't have a penis
so that's another week of no stories...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:19, 3 replies)

Jaysis.
Way to exclude 50% of the planet from answering. And al.



Seriously, a slight rephrasing like "the thing I've been most ashamed of doing with my crotch", wouldn't have worked? No?

Prick.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:19, 7 replies)

Sticking it
In your mum!

EDIT there's going to be a lot of these!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:18, 3 replies)

I put it in my niece :( :(

(__, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:17, 3 replies)

Your mum
clearly
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:17, 2 replies)

Wiped it round
all of Kaol's mugs and glasses...
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:17, 3 replies)

Typing "first" with it.

( Cawl, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:16, 3 replies)