Sex: Scene 1, Take 1. aaaaaaaand Action!
Many, many years ago, back when I was in high school, I had the chance to do sex. My girl at the time had finally caved to my incredible power of persuasion, and allowed me access.
On that fateful night, I nicked some red wine from my mum, and we migrated to my bedroom. We had the house to ourselves, so I knew I was in like flint.
No I had been exposed (heh) to a lot of porn in my days, and I had watched carefully for techniques to ensure the moaning woman of my dreams would be engulfed in ecstasy, rather than moaning from feeling sick. One thing I noticed was that the men in the porn never really had to guide his flesh hammer in. It was always like the TIE fighter being caught in the tractor beam – it just sort of gravitated to the right spot and she would be instantly delighted.
When the moment came, we were both sweaty and undressed, I informed her of my intentions, and feeling The Force, I skilfully piloted my X-Wang into the tunnel and (shamefully quickly) dropped my baby batter bomb into her ventilation shaft.
She stopped moving and kissing and said “did you do that on purpose?”
I looked down, and discovered, much to my dismay; I was nowhere near the trench. I had only made it between her now sticky thighs.
I hung my head in shame. That was pretty embarrassing.
Not as embarrassing as the next day at school, and discovered she had told several (read: all) of her friends of my faulty homing sensors and defective GPS unit.
They called me ‘carpet bomber’ after that.
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 8:41, 6 replies)

Loving the star wars writeup to this one :D
Especially the X-Wang
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:21, closed)

Agrees
*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:21, closed)

Pedant alert! Flynn.
It's "In like Flynn."

(The football, that is to say Soccer player)

How was it for you?

Ta
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:52, closed)

hahah
they say you never forget your first time, you certainly won't ;)
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 11:34, closed)

Negative, negative
It just impacted on the surface.
( Weejock, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 11:51, closed)

Still
You gets a clicky for "carpet Bomber"
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 12:20, closed)