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This is a question Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Many years ago, I went out with a chef. Kitchens are merely vice dens with food. You couldn't move for people bonking and snorting coke in the store room. And the things they did with the food...

My personal vice was chocolate mousse - I remember it being very calming in all the chaos around me. I think they put things in it.

Tell us your stories of working in kitchens, bars and the rest of the nightmare that is the catering trade.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:58)
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The dishwasher in the restaurant I work in... an old, creepy, Italian man. His name is Roberto. He creeps everyone out, and the only reason he doesn't get fired is because his brother owns the restaurant.

In the first couple of weeks I was working there, one of the other servers comes up to me.

Dave: Hey, Kat, you know Roberto?
Kat: Yeah.
Dave: You know how he's from Italy?
Kat: Yeah.
Dave: Has he ever told you what he did in Italy?
Kat: What?
Dave: He fucked a goat.
Kat: No, he didn't.
Dave: He totally did.
Kat: That's just something people made up because he's creepy and it almost seems believable and it's funny.
Dave: Ask him yourself.
Kat: I am not asking Roberto if he fucked a goat.
Dave: If you ask him, and he acts like he doesn't know what you're talking about, I will give you five dollars.
Kat: Seriously?
Dave: I promise.
Kat: Okay, fine... Hey, Roberto?
Roberto: Yes?
Kat: Have you ever... uh... fucked a goat?
Roberto: [very offended] Hey!
Kat: I'm sorry, it's just, Dave just said -
Roberto: There's nothing wrong with it! It was my own goat!
Kat: ...Oh dear God.
Dave: And I believe I'll be keeping my five dollars.

It is so much fun to watch people eat food off of plates that you know a goatfucker touched.
(, Sat 22 Jul 2006, 3:57, closed)

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