From Hero to Zero
Whilst I worked at a popular 'no names mentioned' restaurant, the head waiter once told me that one of the regular guests was a 'famous z-list celebrity'. The only clue he ever gave was that his name was Mike. After a few weeks of keeping us guessing he eventually revealed the 'so called' celebrity was none other than chthonic.

As we all started to suck up to him we soon realised what an arrogant chap he was. He would come in every Thursday, always order steak, pasta and vegetables, and tell everybody within ears shot about a so called funny story that happened to him that week. We also got sick of the way he would always ask questions questions questions each week he was in.

Eventually we all grew tired of him so one day, just before he was due his weekly visit, we all started having a game of headers and volleys in the kitchen with chthonics weekly dish (the chef performed an overhead kick that planted chthonic's steak into the sink that even Mark Hughes would've been proud of).

Not wishing to stop there, with those hollow bits of pasta, we played blow football across the kitchen floor with some peas (all of which would later end up on chthonics main dish).

The pierce de resistance though was watching chef play a game he specially invented for chthonic ('play your drink right' he called it). He swallowed as much of chthonic's ordered drink he could, made a mark on the glass, did a rollie pollie followed by 5 somersaults, then we had to guess wether it would be higher or lower the mark when chef spat the mouthfull back into the glass.

Oh what fun days we had.

PS. I'm keeping the fact that we played tiddlywinks with chthonic's carrot slices a secret (winner was the first to get one in the toilet bowl).........just in case I get banned!!!
(Lt Columbo, Tue 25 Jul 2006, 0:59, Reply)